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Tag Archives: children

An Open Letter to McDonalds, Subway, and All Other Purveyors of Gendered Toys

28 Tuesday Jul 2015

Posted by IfByYes in Well

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

boy toys, boycot, business, children, fast food, gender, girl toys, mcdonalds, pink, policies, sexism, subway

(For those of you joining me from Reddit, welcome! I don’t post my child’s real name on the internet for obvious reasons. Owl is clearly a pseudonym – a blog nickname chosen by my readers. In case you read any of my other posts, my daughter’s name is also not really “Fritter”.)

Dear Fast Food Industry,

Tell your employees to stop using my child’s genitals to define his toy choices.

Let me tell you a story. Actually, let me tell you a series of stories about how my son has been reduced to a set of genitals by your employees.

McDonald’s recently had a line of Nerf brand toys on display. They had a line of blue toys and some of their pink/purple Rebelle line (because apparently girls can only play with pink weapons).

mcdonaldsnerfline

My 4 year old’s favourite colour is pink, so he decides that he wants a pink one. He loves things that throw and shoot so he’s very excited.

I get to the cash and order his happy meal and ask for a pink weapon.

“He wants a girl one?” says the cashier.

“He wants a PINK one,” I said firmly.

He got a pink throwing star type thing and he was happy.

The next time we went to that McDonald’s he decided he wanted the cannon toy, which he had seen at a friend’s house.

The cannon toy is also part of the Rebelle line.

So I order his Happy Meal, and the cashier (a different one from before), “for a boy, right?”

“Actually, do you have that pink cannon that shoots a ball? He has his heart set on that one.”

“He wants a girl one?” asks the cashier incredulously.

“He wants the PINK CANNON THAT SHOOTS,” I said. “Do you have it in?”

“Uh, I’ll check,” she says, and marks his happy meal as “girl” on the cash register.

They had it in stock and he was overjoyed. He was playing with it in the Play Place (sans ball, because I didn’t want him to shoot another kid) and an older boy kept asking him “why do you have a girl toy?”

Owl ignored this questioning completely, perhaps not even realising that it was aimed at him. He’s not a girl. He’s a boy. He’s a big, loud, messy, active boy who loves to shoot things but also happens to love pink.

“Uh, why does he have a girl toy?” the older boy finally asked me.

“Why is it a girl toy?” I asked with a note of exasperation. “It doesn’t say “girl” on it.”

The boy looked stumped.

“Because it’s pink?” I asked him. He nodded slowly.

“Does that seem fair, to tell boys that they can’t play with anything pink? Girls can play with blue,” I pointed out. The boy wandered off and I tried not to be afraid.

Owl is going into kindergarten soon. He will be told that pink is for girls, that he can’t enjoy it or wear it or play with it. I wish I could tell him that this is silly childish nonsense, but in the end, where are kids getting it from?

FROM ADULTS.

From the amazed ADULTS who insist, in a BUSINESS ATMOSPHERE, on calling pink toys “girl toys”.

From the BUSINESSES who actually have separate toy lines for boys and girls, as if genitalia should be relevant when it comes to choosing playthings.

I’m sorry, but even sex toy shops don’t divide toys based on the genitals of the purchaser. Dildos are for everybody.

When we go to McDonald’s drive through, I have no idea what to say when they ask if my happy meal should be “boy” or “girl”.

How do I know which my son would prefer? If they said “Skylander or Barbie?” I would say “Skylander”. If they said “Blue or pink?” I would say  “pink”.

My son has often wanted a toy from the supposed “girl” selection, and while that’s easy enough (though annoying) to deal with when we are inside, at the drive through we are denied even the opportunity of knowing what the choices are.

So it’s a crap shoot.

“Boy or girl?” we were asked recently at the McDonald’s drive through.

“It doesn’t matter,” said my husband. “Whichever.”

“…Sorry, was that boy or girl?” asked the voice on the other end.

“Whichever!” said PH loudly. “Just pick one.”

“I still don’t… is it for a boy or a girl?”

“BOY!” I said loudly over PH’s shoulder, just to end the exchange. I felt like saying “HE HAS A PENIS, DOES THAT REALLY TELL YOU ANYTHING ABOUT HIS TOY CHOICES?”

They might as well say “penis or vagina?” when I order a Happy Meal at the drive through.

ASK ME WHAT MY CHILD WANTS, NOT WHAT IS IN HIS PANTS.

He has a penis, but sometimes he likes My Little Pony. He has a penis and sometimes wants the Skylanders toy. The two are not especially related.

But don’t worry, McDonald’s, you aren’t the only company I am pissed at.

Subway, I’m looking at you.

Owl LOVES Subway. He likes McDonald’s for the toys and the Play Place, but he loves Subway for the FOOD. He always gets a kid’s tuna sandwich and piles six different vegetables on top.

The kids meals at Subway are a good deal.

You don’t get a toy but you do get a drink and apple slices along with the sandwich and they put it in a reusable shoulder bag featuring characters from whatever animated movie is playing in theatres right now.

Inside Out is playing in theatres right now.

subwayinsideoutbags

Owl liked the green one, featuring the Mindy Kaling “Disgust” character.

Who is female.

“Oh, but that one is for girls,” said the lady behind the counter, hesitating and looking at my husband in dismay.

He glared at her. “THAT’S FINE,” he said with gritted teeth.

Seriously? You’re going to tell a little boy that he can’t have a particular bag because it is “for girls”? Why? Because it has a female character on it?

REALLY??

Listen, Fast Food. You need to stop. If you insist on carrying different toy lines for different markets, then you need to train your employees. This has been going on for a long time.

It isn’t enough to say you don’t train your employees to say girl or boy, because that’s how your frigging machines register the difference. Of course your employees will ask “girl or boy” because that’s the button they need to press.

Besides, they are part of our global culture which general recognizes that pink is for girls and boys can’t touch it. 

So it’s not enough to say that you don’t TRAIN them to be sexist. You need to make efforts to train them NOT to be sexist.

Don’t mark certain toy lines as “boy” and “girl” in your cash registers.

Change your POLICIES.

Train your employees in what to say.

Teach them to say “what colour of bag do you want?”

Teach them to say “Do you want a blue weapon or a pink one?”

Teach them to ask at the drive through “standard Nerf toy or Rebelle line?”

And when a boy asks for a pink toy, tell them to say “sure!” and deliver it with a smile because feminism starts here. Freedom from gender restriction starts here.

Otherwise you are a purveyor of sexism, and I’m not buying that.

LET TOYS BE TOYS.

Right now, the only way we have of protesting is with our wallets. But I hope you won’t do it because you want my money. I hope you’ll do it because it is RIGHT.

Sincerely,

A Pissed Off Consumer

Furbittiter – by Owl

25 Tuesday Feb 2014

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

children, preschooler, Stories

This is a Furbittiter:

20140225-211829.jpg

We jump on it.

We go weeeeee and go up up and then we go aaaaaaaah down down.

And I come out here

and you come out there.

It’s VERY hard to get there.

You have to put on shoes.

And you have to go on a plane.

And drive for a very long time.

It’s VERY fun.

No one can get hurt on it!

But NOT Daddy.

If Daddy goes on it… then there will be BLOOD.

And he’ll need a BAND AID.

Fight The Phobia, Or, Maybe My Son Really Is Undead

29 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by IfByYes in From The Owlery, Life and Love

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

cadavers, children, dead bodies, Mary Roach, music, necrophobia, parenting, passing on phobias, phobias, skeletons, Stiff, toddlers

I am scared of dead bodies. 

Continue reading →

In Which I Attempt To Introduce My Son To His Celtic Heritage… In Vancouver.

24 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by IfByYes in East, West, Home is Best, Life and Love, Vids and Vlogs, Well, That's Just Stupid

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

celtic, celtic festival, celtic music, children, colcannon, culture, east coast, fiddle music, Fiddling, heritage, irish, music, rankin, Vancouver

If you read me on World Moms Blog, you’ll know that I have been fretting over Owl’s Canadian heritage of late.

Owl has… questionable musical taste.

He gets kudos for liking Forget You and Gangnam Style. However, he loses points for constantly requesting LMFAO and Bruno Mars songs.

You try and put on something tasteful like The Beatles or Barenaked Ladies and he says “No, no like it!”

It’s a problem.

So on St Patrick’s Day we decided to take him down to “CelticFest” downtown.

I was all excited for him to hear some read fiddle music and get exposed a bit to his Celtic heritage – my maiden name is Irish, after all.

But I had forgotten how terrible Vancouver is at approximating East Coast things. Even music, which you think would be fairly reproducible.

It looked good when we got there.

20130323-185003.jpg

Of course the streets were full of people in green hats eating green popcorn, but there was a band on the stage with guitars and fiddles, and its name was “The Whiskey Dicks” which sounded promising.

20130323-185024.jpg

But then we got close enough to hear the music.

Owl had a good time dancing, at least… in a marching stomp to the TOTALLY NOT CELTIC MUSIC.

I grew up singing Barra Macneils songs.

Our neighbour used to stand out in his backyard practising his bagpipe every afternoon.

When I was pregnant, I was obsessed with listening to Great Big Sea.

This music is important to me, and Vancouver can’t do it right EVEN IN A CELTIC FESTIVAL.

We decided to go to Tom Lee Music because there was supposed to be a sort of jam session with Mairi Rankin there. The problem was that it had started at 3, and by the time Owl woke up from his nap and we got down town, it was 4:30.

Happily, the people at front of house let us sneak in for half price, so we crept in for the last twenty minutes of the session.

Inside was a small group of people clapping and stamping their feet to real fiddle music – like a secret conclave of actual Irish/East Coasters, hiding from the Vancouver rabble in their shamrock hats while singing about colcannon and teaching each other Irish love songs.

Owl listened in fascination the whole time.

This morning, he took his two plastic hockey sticks and walked around rubbing them together telling me “I play fiddle, Mommy.”

THAT’S my boy.

Best Parenting Book Ever

27 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

books, children, fatherhood, fathers, Lawrence J Cohen, parenting, parenting books, play, Playful Parenting, reviews

Okay, I have found my new all-time favourite parenting book.

This is one of those books that make you want to run around, handing it to people you know whose parenting makes you wince, and handing it to people whose parenting is already awesome.

Because Playful Parenting is AWESOME.

Continue reading →

The Gentrification Of Sesame Street

21 Thursday Feb 2013

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love, Pointless Posts

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

children, children and media, children's programming, jim henson, old school sesame street, preschoolers, sesame street, toddlers, tv

Now that Owl is two we occasionally allow ourselves the luxury of putting Owl in front of the TV for some quality programming.

Over Christmas we had fun showing him The Grinch (which he loved) and Muppet Family Christmas (which he liked) and Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (which he had no interest in).

Sometimes we let him watch some Sesame Street.

I really notice a difference between letting him watch Sesame Street on Netflix versus the Old School Sesame Street DVD that we picked up years and years ago.

Sesame Street has really changed over the years, and it’s more than just the loss of Jim Henson.

Continue reading →

Actually The Happiest Place On Earth, or, In Which Things Go Weirdly RIght

04 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by IfByYes in From The Owlery, Life and Love, Perfect Husband

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

children, disneyland, fun, good days, parenting, vacations

So, remember how my boss gave me that money for a trip?

We went to Disneyland.

And no, the money didn’t cover the whole trip. Not even close. But you cut a thousand bucks out of the price tag and it begins to be doable for us, if you take into account the fact that PH is more willing to spend money on life experiences than tangible possessions. Pefect Husband had already been thinking about taking me for my birthday BEFORE we got given the money, because he’s like that.

So, off we went.

It did not start out auspiciously.

We picked up Owl from daycare after I worked a half day, and the first thing he did as we set out for The Farm Fairy’s house to drop off the dog was… throw up all over himself.

Then he began to wail.

Continue reading →

Letting Things Slide

01 Friday Feb 2013

Posted by IfByYes in I'm Sure This Happens To Everyone..., Well, That's Just Stupid

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

children, discipline, going up slides, playground etiquette, rules, safety, slides

When Owl was around one year old, he began to enjoy slides.

ipodpics 032

The local mall has a slide that is nicely baby-sized, so we started him on that one. From the beginning we taught him basic slide safety/etiquette which is, of course, that you must always go around and go back up via the ladder, and not back up the slide itself.

This is basic etiquette, isn’t it?

I have begun to wonder, because we are apparently the only parents IN THE WORLD who enforce it.

I am probably exaggerating because my friend Pug Mama also enforces this basic requirement when we have visited slides with our children, and I assume that my other friends do as well with their children. But that’s because I have awesome taste in friends.

Everyone else in the world seems to think it is TOTALLY FINE for their kid to spend five minutes trying to climb the wrong way up the slide, while other children line up on top with feet pointed at the rogue child’s head.

Then, of course, Owl starts imitating the behaviour. PH or I immediately swoop in and correct him and Owl goes back to his law abiding ways. 20130126-144103.jpg Sometimes the other parent would become aware that my one year old was better behaved than their three year old and would suddenly start enforcing the rule, which no doubt confused the kid completely.

Sometimes, that doesn’t even happen.

A few weeks ago Owl was at that same slide and had quite an altercation with two little bruisers with buzz cuts. One looked about Owl’s age and the other was three or so. They were both climbing up the slide while Owl sat on top of the slide poised to go down and said in an increasingly annoyed voice, “Excuse me. Excuse me! EXCUUUUUSE ME! NO!! GO ‘WAY!!!!!”

He began poking at their eyes, which I put a stop to instantly, but I felt bad, because after all, he was in the right. But if we poked out people’s eyes whenever they broke the rules, we’d have a lot of fun, but probably end up in prison.

The parent of the two kids, by the way, was watching with pleasant-faced bemusement throughout all this. I would have said something but I didn’t know she was the kids’ mother, since she was watching with pleasant-faced bemusement.

It was only when Owl and the up-sliders began to engage in a battle to the death on the top of the slide that she redirected her kids, who were back and going up the slide again within five minutes and the mother just shrugged at me like “Ehn, what else can I do?”

I was tempted to tell Owl to slide down anyway and kick those kids in the face.

It’s not only a problem at the mall.

The local indoor play gym has big signs up everywhere about NOT CLIMBING UP THE SLIDES, often in quick succession and merely phrased in different ways so as to try and penetrate people’s thick skulls. 20130126-144251.jpg It doesn’t seem to make a difference. Parents stand around and smile indulgently while their kids struggle up the slide going the wrong way. 20130126-144306.jpg Last time I tried to embarrass the parents into action. Owl pointed at the kids going up the slide and screeched “Mommy, YOOK!”

“Yeah, they’re breaking the rules. Never mind what they do. YOU go around,” I said to him loudly. The group of watching parents didn’t even blink.

I suppose I could be a douche and point out to the parents that their kids are getting in the way of everyone else’s kids AND endangering themselves in the process, but it’s none of my business and I’m not naturally confrontational.

So beyond the occasional passive aggressive comment, I just watch in bewilderment.

I just don’t get it.

It’s one thing if your kid is nine years old in a deserted playground, and able to understand the difference between sharing a busy piece of playground equipment and enjoying having the slide all to yourself.

But in a busy play park packed with self absorbed toddlers?

Really?

Even if you don’t believe in etiquette, even if you want your child to be a rebel and explore playground equipment in novel ways, even if you don’t think that your kids should have to learn turn-taking or follow posted rules…

…don’t you worry that a descending child will torpedo your kid in the face?

…Or am I the only one?

Fat For Thought, Or, In Which I Get Sarcastic About People Who Defend Fat-Shaming

10 Wednesday Oct 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Belly Battles, My Blag is on the Interwebs, Well, That's Just Stupid

≈ 26 Comments

Tags

bullying, children, concern troll, cyber bullying, diet, examples, exercise, fat, fat shaming, fitness, health, jennifer livingston, lifestyle, morality, news anchor, obesity, role models

Everyone’s talking about that overweight anchorwoman, Jennifer Livingston, who defended herself against a concern troll who emailed her.

Surely you don’t consider yourself a suitable example for this community’s young people, girls in particular. Obesity is one of the worst choices a person can make and one of the most dangerous habits to maintain. I leave you this note hoping that you’ll reconsider your responsibility as a local public personality to present and promote a healthy lifestyle.

Livingston called him out on-air and pointed out that fat people KNOW they are fat and don’t need it pointed out by random strangers, and asked him if he really thought that his rudeness set any better of an example.

So now the world is full of people applauding this woman for standing up for herself, while others go “but he’s right, you know.”

I had to listen to it on the radio this morning. The male DJ was totally behind Livingston, while the female DJ kept saying “yeah, but he had a point. I mean, would it be okay to have a fat children’s show host?”

It was all very Helen Lovejoy.

Won’t someone PLEASE think of the children?

Sure, Jennifer Livingston wasn’t smoking on tv, or guzzling potato chips while delivering local news, but she did commit the fairly sizeable (pun intended) crime of BEING FAT PUBLICLY.

Fat people, just by going on tv, looking fat, are telling our kids that it’s okay to look different from the anorexic models in the fashion magazines.

And we don’t want THAT, do we?

And, the woman DJ argued, what is wrong with a little concern trolling now and then? As she and many commenters on the Youtube clip point out:

a) The concern troll emailed her in a private email, so it’s not like he was mean to her in public, which is the important thing.

b) The email was written politely and didn’t use the word “fat”.

c) The emailer was just trying to help.

After all, aren’t we all morally obligated to offer help to someone who walks around being fat all the time?

a) Maybe they don’t know they’re fat, and need someone to tell them. It is entirely possible that they haven’t glanced in a mirror, looked down, or checked the size of their clothes in years.

b) If you don’t actually use the terms “fat”, “pig-like” or “tub o’ lard”, and as long as it is phrased politely, it is completely socially appropriate to go up to a stranger and suggest they reconsider their physical flaws.

c) Won’t someone PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

There’s just a couple teeny little points, though, that I would like to add as fat-for-thought to the people who make these delightfully smug little arguments.

Continue reading →

We Get Our Peace And Quiet Via Noise and Confusion

22 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love, Well, That's Just Stupid

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

children, crash crawly's, entertainment, parenting, play gym, toddlers

We tried a new indoor play gym this weekend.

Weekends used to be our time to sit around in our bath robes and play video games and pretend other humans didn’t exist.

No more.

Thanks to Extrovert McGee, we now have to find ways to entertain him so he doesn’t drive us bug nuts. Once out into the stimulating world, Owl is a joy. When trapped in a house full of toys he has already played with, he is a hang-off-your-arm burden.

Since he had already been to two playgrounds this weekend, we decided to go to an indoor play gym. On a spur-of-the-moment decision, we decided to visit Crash Crawly’s, which is a further drive from our house than our usual play spot for Owl.

REGRET.

This place was bigger and busier than our regular play gym, but we assumed that meant it would be better.

But it wasn’t.

The toddler area was divided by a spiralling wall almost as tall as an adult, which meant that you had to either follow your toddler around constantly, or just sit there staring at a wall wondering what your kid was doing now.

There was no gate to the toddler area, either which meant that you had to be ever vigilant that your toddler did not wander OUT of the toddler area and nine year olds were constantly roaming in to squash him in the ball pit.

The security pitiful, too. At our regular play gym, you have to line up to get your bracelets checked before they will unlock the door to let you out, so you can’t walk off with someone else’s child.

At this place, the in gate and the out gate were the same gate, and it didn’t lock, or even latch. You could just open it and go with a kid in your arms, and if you ran, the teeny boppers at the front desk probably couldn’t catch you in time.

But the craziest thing was the noise.

Insane, penetrating, giving-you-a-headache noise.

And I don’t mean the noise of gleeful children. Sure, there were lots of screams and shouts.

But they put the toddler area directly underneath some kind of air gun game which emitted ear splitting roars on a near-continual basis.

 

It was not only disturbingly disruptive to our introverted brains, but it seemed totally crazy.

There were signs everywhere talking about how the toddler area was designed to stimulate young minds, and they provided all these music-based toys on the wall to help stimulate his psychic growth.

But all of that was pointless, since I don’t think Owl could hear a thing from those toys.

Sure, your kid can’t hear the music he makes, but you’ve already paid your entrance fee, so who care?

But he did like the ball pit.

When I weigh the pros and cons of going back, it looks like this:

Pros: Ball pit

Cons: Deafening noise, no way to pen toddlers in, poor security, more expensive.

I don’t think Owl will be enjoying the ball pit often, because WE have the keys to the car and you aren’t forcing us back THERE in a hurry.

You know, once upon a time I used to fantasize about what I would do if someone gave me a blank-slate day – a day in which nothing I did would have any permanent ramifications, whether it was telling a boy that I liked him or running up the down escalator.

Now, I dream about what I would do if I had 48 hours of complete solitude.

It involves a lot of wearing my bath robe and pretending other humans don’t exist.

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