Why I Loathe Vani Hari, Or, There Are No Pancakes In My Chicken Fried Rice

Tags

bad logic, debunk, fear mongering, french fries, logic fail, pseudoscience, pumpkin spice latte, science, the food babe, vani hari

I need to talk for a moment about how much I despise The Food Babe.

At first I was barely aware of her. I heard people making a stink about the “yoga mat chemical” in Subway and largely ignored it because what do you expect in fast food?

Then the Pumpkin Spice Latte thing happened.

Suddenly, my Facebook was alternately full of people going “OMG PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE SEASON” and this:

 

Several things struck me as weird about this.

Let’s go through them.

1. Caramel Colour Level IV. I googled it. The first three hits are a variety of studies on its safety in which IT IS FOUND TO BE TOTALLY HARMLESS.

2. Did anyone actually think there is really bits of pureed squash in their latte? Wouldn’t that taste weird?

3. So… the cows ate feed which contains GMOs… so… I should avoid Starbuck’s milk? Is… that different from all the milk sold in all the stores? Because I don’t think so.

4. I’m sorry, 50 g of sugar is TOXIC? I mean, sure, no one’s saying that 50g of sugar is healthy, but isn’t there more sugar in a candy bar? (why yes, there is). In fact, a Banana Berry Smoothie at Jamba Juice contains more sugar. Besides, to me, “toxic” defines as reaching the LD50, or dose that is lethal enough to kill half the people who eat it. The LD50, or “toxic” level for sugar is 300 g/kg. Based on my body weight, that means that I would have to drink 504.5 Pumpkin Spice Lattes for even a 50% chance of getting killed by it (I hope no one does the math and figures out how much I weigh…).

And finally, I went on the Starbucks website and actually it’s only 50g if you get a GIANT one with 2% milk AND whipped cream. An actual normal sized drink without a bunch of EXTRA DAIRY is really more like 34g, which matches up with a veggie puree at Jamba Juice.

5. I’m not even sure why this is supposed to be scary. These natural flavours could be from ANYWHERE! Oh noes. What if it’s MEXICAN natural flavours? I don’t want my xenophobia tainting my drink, even if it IS natural.

6. If you haven’t had an allergic reaction when drinking a Pumpkin Spice Latte, you’re probably okay. If you have, you probably don’t need The Food Babe to tell you to steer clear.

7. POSSIBLE pesticide residue? Like, she’s just throwing in “maybes” now. MAYBE, okay, not positive, but WHAT IF the coffee beans were picked by someone WHO HAD EBOLA. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DRINK THAT.

8.  Okay, this is the only valid complaint. Secret dairy. I accept that as a concern.

Anyway, so I went on a bit of a rampage posting snopes articles at this thing left right and centre until it stopped showing up on my news feed.

But the Food Babe didn’t.

The next time I saw her it was a complaint about MacDonald’s fries.

The claim was that America and Canada have silly putty in their french fries, while those lucky brits do not.

So of course I googled it. And I learned that this supposedly scary chemical is NOT silly putty but an ingredient thereof. Furthermore, it is used to help prevent workers from being burned, because it reduces spitting and such from the fry oil. The chemical is largely harmless and present in fairly small quantities.

Also, wait. Why is Silly Putty scary? It’s non toxic and we hand it to small children for them to mess around with.

So, basically, the logic goes as follow:

1. Something we eat shares an ingredient with something else.

2. Therefore, that something else is IN the thing we eat. (I love this logic. Eggs are used to make pancakes AND to make chicken fried rice. Therefore there are pancakes in my chicken fried rice.)

3. The something else which shares this ingredient is a harmless substance that is considered safe for small children to play with and probably eat.

4. ?

5. PANIC.

Amusing as the bizarre logic is, here’s what gets me riled:

It’s not that I am a big defender of MacDonald’s. Clearly, being a rational human being, I don’t think their food is good for me.

But that’s actually my point.

DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK THIS WAS GOOD FOR YOU?

You ate at a fast food restaurant knowing that the food would be bad for you. Then you find out one of the ingredients is something which has been cleared by the FDA and is added to keep workers safe. Cue OUTRAGE.

…

…

WHY???

I mean, are we supposed to be upset that the British are getting much healthier, safer fries? Because they aren’t. THEY’RE STILL SALTY, FATTY, CARCINOGENIC FRENCH FRIES.

And they’re delicious.

So either eat them and accept it or avoid them and suck it up. But ONE TINY INGREDIENT ALSO FOUND IN A HARMLESS CHILD’S PLAYTHING should not be the deciding factor here.

So after this, I started looking up this Vani Hari woman.

I discovered that she launched giant campaigns against places like Chick-Fil-A and Chipotle because their food contains GMOs. Even though pretty much all the food at your local grocery store and in every chain restaurant everywhere are ALSO GMO and even though there is no scientific reason to be scared of eating GMOs.

I learned that she has caused numerous false food-scares by mixing up chemicals, such as pointing to the ingredient propylene glycol and calling it “antifreeze”, when actually it is used as a non-toxic antifreeze ALTERNATIVE.

And I have watched her style of fear mongering spread all over my facebook feed.

Now, I see other pages who have copied her scare tactics.

Here’s how it works:

1. All-Natural Generic Facebook Page/Blogger picks a multisyllabic ingredient from some already-recognized-as-unhealthy food.

2. All-Natural Generic Facebook Page/Blogger finds some non-food product with that same ingredient.

3. All-Natural Generic Facebook Page/Blogger shares a photo of the two products together with a question like “what is paint thinner doing in Lucky Charms?”

No, that wasn’t a random example. For serious:

Never mind that the product on the left is NOT PAINT THINNER, but something we use to clean our walls before we apply the paint.

If the All-Natural Generic Facebook Page/Blogger was ACTUALLY interested in educating the public, they would answer their own question. But they aren’t, because the actual answer (I learned with about 30 seconds spent on Google), is boring:

Trisodium Phosphate is a non-toxic food additive which is sold in some health food stores as a nutrition supplement because it has been linked to improved performance in cyclists. It is also very good at cleaning things.

*yawn*

But instead of actually learning something, people go up in arms about it and freak out, when the REAL question is,”DID YOU REALLY FEEL GOOD ABOUT FEEDING YOUR KIDS LUCKY CHARMS TO BEGIN WITH? HAS THIS REALLY SHATTERED YOUR FAITH IN ALL THAT YOU THOUGHT WAS SAFE AND HEALTHY?”

If I see one more version of “this ingredient has more than two syllables so let’s be scared!” I’m going to start making my own:

I’ll point out that Gripe Water, promoted for helpless colicky infants, contains baking soda – sorry, SODIUM BICARBONATE – which is ALSO FOUND IN INDUSTRIAL GRADE FIRE EXTINGUISHERS. WHY ARE WE FEEDING FLAME RETARDANTS TO BABIES.

I’ll make sure everyone knows that their favourite brand of pickles contains vinegar – sorry, ACETIC ACID – which has been proven to be effective against 99.9% of bacteria. WHAT IS DISINFECTANT DOING IN YOUR GERKINS?

I’ll advertise the fact that X Brand of Jam contains PECTINS, which are used to GLUE CIGARS. WHAT IS CIGAR GLUE DOING ON OUR TOAST???

It may not stop people from panicking over nothing, and it may not teach people to use Google before they get frightened by big words, but dangit, it’ll be amusing.

Maybe THAT’S why she does it.

In Which We Celebrate A Pagan Fertility Festival, With Good Reason. And Chocolate.

Tags

Easter, easter bunny, easter egg, fertility, pagan rituals, parenting, pregnancy, toddlers

This was the first Easter where Owl was old enough to sort of understand what was going on.

Previous Easters may have confused him some.

WHY AM I DRESSED LIKE A RABBIT?

Anyway, we skipped the whole “Jesus rising from the dead” part of Easter (since “Jesus” and “dead” and “nailed his hands to a piece of wood” are not things he can or should understand yet) so we stuck to the pagan fertility festival part of it.

He was quite excited about the Easter bunny part.

“Mister Bunny come… come to our home… bring me… CANDY!”

“Yes, Owl, the EASTER bunny will hide candy.”

“And eggs!”

“Yes, and eggs.”

“Yes. I like him!’

“So do we, honey.”

After an argument over how much toys/candy a two year old should get for Easter, PH and I settled on hiding ten plastic eggs, five filled with stickers and five filled with lollipops.

I put a toy ball, a colouring book, and a bubble blowing kit in his basket.

Easter was FUN. Even though we hid the eggs as openly as we could, Owl only found a couple without increasingly specific hints.

“How about over there, Owl? Are there any eggs over there? No? Are you sure? Did you look on the shelf? RIGHT THERE AT EYE LEVEL? No? ARE YOU SURE? WHAT ABOUT RIGHT THERE AT THE END OF MY FINGER?”

He was so proud of himself whenever he “found” the things, too. It was very cute, in an “oh my gosh, toddlers have mush for brains” kind of a way. (Owl did not improve his apparent IQ by biting into an Easter Egg, shell and all, and munching on it quietly until I noticed and snatched it away, explaining to him that you DON’T EAT THE SHELL). All in all, “Mister Bunny” was a hit, and he struck multiple times. One of our neighbours made a drop on his behalf on our doorstep, and he got a second hunt at his friend’s house that afternoon.

PH and I are forced to “help” eat his candy while he is sleeping.

You know. To save him from himself. And also because we’re emotional eaters. Pagan fertility festivals for the win.

In which I change the direction of the blog

Tags

I should leave my blog logged out more often, so much hate, why does PH hate me

Dear reader,

I’ve decided that, now that I’ve been writing this blog for almost four years, it needs to go in a new direction. Your comments on this recent post convinced me of that.

So from now on, I shall be focussing the vast majority of my posts on…

Pinkie Pie!

She’s awesome. Just so awesome. I invite you to read through the link above and truly appreciate the hard work that went into creating a Wiki page that has that much information about Pinkie Pie.

I’ll still update occasionally about Owl, of course, but I really find that he’s taken a backseat in my life ever since I discovered this:

 

So thank you as always for your readership, and I hope you enjoy my new path. And remember…

 

Emerald City Comicon – OH, MY! (Or, In Which Owl Meets George Takei)

Tags

artists, comicon, comics, Dinosaur Comics, emerald city comicon, george takei, memes, Questionable Content, seattle, Something Positive, star trek, The oatmeal

PH and I drove to Seattle for Emerald City Comicon. We’ve been looking forward to it for months, ever since we found out that George Takei, a bunch of PH’s favourite web comic artists, Christopher Lloyd, and a bunch of great voice talents would be there.

My only disappointment was that Journey Quest didn’t seem to be making an appearance. Then Christopher Lloyd dropped out and I was more diappointed.

Nevertheless, the lure of George Takei was strong, and PH and I haven’t had a trip to Seattle since Owl was born. We went to stay in our usual motel, a sleazy inn with rates to match, but with the added benefit of in-room private Jacuzzis in some of the rooms. Carol Heaven. Probably also Chlamydia Heaven, but so far I’ve been lucky.

In preparation for meeting George Takei, I ordered a special onesie for Owl. After all, you don’t get to meet a Meme Hero every day.

I'm going to meet who, now?

The Big Loser Theory

Someone on my Facebook recently posted that they had overheard this spoken in a comic book store:

Asking us why we don’t watch The Big Bang Theory is like asking a self-respecting gay person why they don’t watch Will and Grace.

THANK YOU.

I’ve tried to like The Big Bang Theory. I really, really have. Perfect Husband and I keep tuning in and trying to make it through an episode. So far our record is three in a row during a marathon before we tapped out.

The Big Bang Theory Has Some Good Points

I love the character of Sheldon, who clearly has Asperger’s syndrome but is coping beautifully with it. He’s the only character who actually seems comfortable with who he is, and I find him the most believable personality, even when he’s being completely outrageous. Pretty much all of the show’s best lines come from him, too.

Even better, they actually do hire scientists to write certain parts of the script, so the philosophical nerd banter, the equations scribbled on the blackboards, and most of the references are completely accurate, putting shows like CSI to shame with their actual correct use of SCIENCE.

The show is filled with little Easter Eggs that only real nerds/scientists/geeks would pick up on, and jokes that laymen wouldn’t get.

And PH and I do guffaw at all of those little moments that are clearly aimed at amusing the geeks out there:

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the same side.

Hahahahaha!

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, ‘For you, no charge.’

Hee hee hee!

Oh, he mentioned Occam’s Razor!

Oh, he dressed as The Doppler Effect for a costume party!

I know what those things are and so I shall giggle in glee because I feel so clever for getting their oh-so-nerdy jokes!

All geeks in this family.

But that’s what it comes down to – even those delightfully nerdy jokes just leave us feeling dirty and used, because we know that those jokes are the result of Chuck Lorre and company trying to butter us up.

In Which Canada is Shocked and Dismayed, and Babby Gets Teeth

Tags

babbling, babies, bloc quebecois, Canada, Conservatives, election 2011, electoral reform, Green Party, Liberals, May 2 2011, milestones, NDP, politics, teething, voters, votes

So, remember how I said Canada was going to end up with the same government as before?

I eat my words OM NOM NOM.

Watching the election was a bizarre mix of pure elation and rich horror for people on both sides of the fence.

Now, this is Canada’s government as of 2008:

Dark Blue = Conservative, Red = Liberal, Orange = NDP, Light Blue = Bloc Quebecois, Green = obvious

This is how Canada was polling before election day in 2011:

Dark Blue = Conservative, Red = Liberal, Orange = NDP, Light Blue = Bloc Quebecois, Green = Obvious

So you can see why I didn’t think there would be any surprises. It should be noted that for the Conservatives to get a majority government, they would need 155 seats, so the projections were showing that they would be at least 10 short of their goal. The NDP were expected to make a big gain, because the leader was campaigning in Quebec and getting a lot of interest there. So the Bloc Quebecois were expected to give up some votes.

This is what happened:

For the first time in history, the Liberals placed third in the popular vote

Despite recieving 40% of the popular vote, the Conservatives win a sweeping majority (12 more than the required 155 seats) and the NDP become the Official Opposition

Not only did the Conservatives win a majority somewhat unexpectedly, but the Bloc Québécois (the Quebec separatist party, which usually holds most of the seats in Quebec) has been virtually eradicated. Even the party leader, who has been in Parliament for 20 years, didn’t get voted into his seat. Technically, the Bloc is no longer an official political party.

The Green Party leader got a seat in Parliament for the first time, which I think is largely a success that can be attributed to vote swapping.

Embarrassingly for the Liberals (who have been either the Federal Government or the Official Opposition for 150 years), not only did they get booted into a dismal third place, but their own party leader didn’t get elected into Parliament. I feel bad for Ignatieff. I always thought he was a bad choise for Liberal leader, but he didn’t deserve that.

Anyway, basically, no one is happy with this government:

The left-wing voters are horrified by the Conservative majority. Now Mr “Harper Government” has the power to make changes against the advice of the left wing Members of Parliament, despite the fact that he only has 40% of the popular vote.

The right-wing voters are horrified by the NDP opposition. You have to understand, this is totally unprecedented. The New Democratic Party puts a strong emphasis on social programs and support for the poor, the blue-collar, and the elderly. They want to put caps on trade, increase taxes on large corporations while giving cuts to small businesses, and increase the old age pension and cut taxes for the old and the poor. They aren’t total socialists or anything – on a provincial government level, as I mentioned before, they actually have a fantastic track record when it comes to handling money responsibly. But you can’t convince the right-wing folks of that, who are sure that if the NDP get into power they would just run around naked in the streets throwing hundred-dollar bills to the homeless and then shredding the rest of the national coffers for confetti.

And now they are opposing our most right-wing faction. Interesting, no?

In a way, it’s a good thing that the Conservatives have a majority. The last few years the Conservatives have blamed everything that went wrong on the fact that they were hobbled by the left-wing Members of Parliament. Now they can’t use that excuse, and we have a strong spokesman for the Everyman keeping him honest.

I think once everyone gets over being horrified, they’ll realize that this government might actually work. And if it doesn’t, maybe it will convince people to go out and effing vote.

Or at least, do some electoral reform.

Jeez.

Meanwhile, in (to me) equally important and world-shattering news, Babby has started babbling again. I haven’t been posting about this because I know I’m a nervous nelly, and I could just see you guys rolling your eyes at me if I started going “So… Babby used to babble, but he hasn’t for a couple of months, now, and now I think he may be autistic because it runs in the family y’know etc etc etc.”

I knew that babies often put one skill aside for a while when they’re working on something else, and Babby has been very focused on learning how to move. He is now capable of dragging his body in counter-clockwise spirals as well as pushing himself backwards. He doesn’t move with great purpose or speed but he moves. We went out and bought a baby gate. Baby proofing is in the offing.

So now that he has started to work that through, he has returned to other skills, to my unspoken relief. In a matter of a day or two he want from NO babbling for weeks to yayaya, wawawa, babababa, dadadada, blah, blah, blah, and so on. He also gives high fives and has discovered clapping.

All in one weekend.

Oh, and he has two teeth.

TEEF. I HAS DEM.

A crash course in Canadian politics: Or, why your Canadian friends will be grumpy this week.

Tags

bloc quebecois, Canada, Conservatives, election 2011, electoral reform, first-past-the-post, governor general, house of commons, in contempt, Liberals, May 2 2011, members of parliament, NDP, no-confidence, parliament, parties, politics, ridings, senate, Stephen Harper, the prime minister, the queen

So, in case you haven’t heard, Canada is having a federal election today. AGAIN.

We do this every couple of years, usually because Prime Ministers have the ability to call an early election whenever they want, and often choose to do so when their approval ratings are running high.

That is not what happened this time. In fact, not only is the Prime Minister unpopular, but 60% of the country never voted for him at all. Ever.

Allow me to explain in a very simplified way. People who want to email me or comment and tell me all the stuff I missed – go easy on me. It’s hard to condense the entirety of Canadian politics into a single blog post. I’m not a politico, I’m a Mom.

(People in the UK, this is all going to sound very familiar to you).

To Canadians: 10 Reasons For Non-Douchebags to Vote On May 2, 2011

Tags

Canada, Canada Votes, Conservatives, democracy, Election Canada, electoral reform, government, Harper, Ignatieff, Layton, Liberals, May 2 2011, MPs, NDP, politics, Prime Minister, ridings, vote, voting

It's his Canada, too

As I hope all Canadians know, we have an election on Monday.

AGAIN.

And yes, we’re tired of elections that don’t change anything and just cost a lot of our money.

YES, we’re frustrated by the first-past-the-post system (I’m in one of those ridings where my vote won’t really count. Even the other MPs don’t think they have a chance. The alternative options are a slouching guy in a funny hat and a shiny 19 year old in university).

YES, the polls are pretty clear about who is going to win the election.

And YES, that means that we may have to go through this whole rigmarole again.

So you totally need to vote:

1. “I’m tired of elections that don’t change anything and just cost a lot of money.”

Then you should totally vote. The money is being spent. Get your money’s worth, at least. Also, if no one votes in this election, everyone is going to be like “k, that one doesn’t count!” and they’ll give us ANOTHER. If there’s a big turnout, then it will be hard to argue that the will of the people is not reflected by the current government.

2. “I’m frustrated by the first-past-the-post system. One party is winning by a landslide in my riding, so my vote won’t count.”

In the Canadian system, sadly, that is true. But in that case, why don’t you vote swap with someone else? If you do that, your vote will count, so you should totally vote.

3. “I don’t trust vote swapping. What if the other guy just votes for his party anyway? Then I’ve been tricked into giving the other guy a double vote.”

Sure that is always a risk… but you didn’t think your vote counted anyway, right? Are you now saying that an extra vote would make a difference? If so, you should totally vote.

4. “I just don’t care who wins.”

Then you don’t get to complain about anything, ever. Taxes too high? Well, you should have voted. No jobs? Well, you should have voted. EI cheque too small? Well, you should have voted. The Prime Minister has proposed a new law to force all Canadians to wear bowling shoes and beanie hats? You really should have voted.

5. “I don’t know what’s going on. I feel like I won’t be making an informed decision.”

Let me Google that for you. Or, if all those words confuse you, here’s a summary of the Harper years with big pictures and comic-book speech bubbles. Form an opinion, for gawdsake. Taxes? Jobs? Economy? Religion? Freedom of Speech? Environment? These things affect you. Spend ten minutes informing yourself, and then you can bloody well vote.

6. “That doesn’t help me. I still can’t decide who to vote for. Everyone’s saying different things. I don’t know who to believe.”

Let me introduce you to Vote Compass. It examines your political views and tells you which parties fit you best. Now you can vote.

7. “Vote Compass dropped me smack in the middle of three left-wing parties. I still don’t know who to vote for.” In that case, why don’t you visit Project Democracy and see who has the best chance of winning in your riding? You’re a perfect candidate for strategic voting, because any one of several parties would suit your views. So you should definitely vote.

8. “There’s no one I want to support. The candidates are all crooks and they’re ugly.”

It’s true that Ignatieff’s creepy eyebrows look like they were scribbled on by Harper while he slept, and that whenever Harper leans into the microphone, I half expect him to moan “braaaaaaaaaaaains”, and that Jack Layton looks like a used car salesman and his chin is too pointy. The party leaders have the combined charisma of an arachnid, I know.

But remember this: the elections are determined by percentage points, not sheer numbers. So your vote actually counts twice – it adds to the percentage of the candidate you vote for, and it dilutes the percentages of the other candidates. So go vote for, like, the Pirate Party or something and screw them all over. It’s your electoral right! With a vote swap you could actually have a chance at voting in an Independant or similar MP who would take a seat in Parliament from the other parties.

It’s not ALL about who is the Prime Minister. MPs have power too. OBVIOUSLY, or we wouldn’t be having an election. Vote for the MP who looks the least useless.

9. “I hate the whole political system and I’m not going to support it by voting, because I’m all brilliant and cynical and DEEP like that.”

Yeah, because the world’s history is filled with people who changed the world by simply NOT participating in Democracy while making whiny comments on the sidelines. If you hate the system so much, change it. Vote for the people who will make those changes, or even better, put your money where you mouth is and run as an independent next election.

10.  “Like, I still really don’t think one vote will, like, matter, and I totally have a hair appointment that day and it’s super important.”

That must be what 42% of Canadians said two years ago, because that’s how many people didn’t vote.

I think that nearly 10 million people probably COULD have made a difference last election, but maybe that’s just me.

In this election, the three biggest parties are 5 – 7 percentage points away from each other in the polls. 42% of the population could make a HELL of a difference in those numbers on the actual election day, so you should totally vote. 

Make the decision to vote, and then convince everyone you know to vote, too. Send them this link. Send them other links. Convince them, too. Then it isn’t just one vote, it’s ten votes. If all of your friends convince some other people to vote, it’s even more. And more. And the next thing you know, you’ve changed Canada’s political history, all by posting a few links and then checking a box on a slip of paper.

Besides, there’s a secret 11th reason why you should vote: You are legally entitled to three consecutive hours off on Monday, PAID, to vote.

BONUS, am I right?

11. “Maybe I’ll take the time off work “to vote”, but not waste my time voting.”

…Yes, you could do that, but that would make you a lazy, deceitful douchebag. In fact, don’t vote. Because I really don’t need my country’s future being determined by lazy, deceitful douchebags. You are excused. Watch out for George Takei on your way out the door.

You Get What You Pay For

Tags

bargains, money, photography, photos, studio portraits, talent agency, walmart

I’ve found a Vancouver talent agency that’s interested in Babby, although they warn me that business for babies is a little slow year-round. I’m not looking to turn him into a star or anything, but a substantial amount of my college fund was paid for by appearing in tv commercials and such, so I know it can be helpful. Even if we got Babby into one commercial, that would still likely be $2000 his RESP didn’t have in it before.

The agency wants a professional portrait for their files. I guess they have had too many experiences with parents going “Oh, actually, I dabble in photography myself, so here’s a photo that I took” while handing them a photo with dirty diapers in the background and a booger in the foreground.

The problem is, we have no money.

Zip. Dead broke.

Not only did we recently buy plane tickets home for the late spring/early summer, but our car has suddenly decided that it needs a new air compressor, new shocks, and a new battery, and it took $350 bucks just to find that out. We haven’t dared ask for an estimate for the actual repairs yet, but we need to do it soon.

The upshot of all this was that PH and I did something that we never, ever, in a million years, dreamed we would do.

We went to Walmart.

It is a testament to PH’s love for me and willingness to support me in my whims that he even set foot there. You see, we are intellectual snobs and Walmart stands for pretty much everything that we hate. Yes, there are a lot of other companies out there that are just as big and corporate and evil, but there’s just something about Walmart that feels especially trashtacular.

Walmart is attracts people who are willing to line up like cattle for the slaughter all for the sake of saving a dollar here, fifty cents there. In general, this does not tend to be your highest class of person, and now we had joined their ranks.

The (soul-destroying) reason that we went there anyway is that we got 30 prints, including an “enhanced” 10X13, for nine bucks.

All we had to do was:

• Show up on time for our appointment.
• Wait with an increasingly bored and tired baby for over an hour, while being repeatedly told “it’ll just be five more minutes… why don’t you have a stroll around the store?”
• Listen to people who showed up for an appointment booked later than ours, who then argued to the girl at the desk that they should get to go before us, because they booked an appointment for now, and their baby was younger.
• Listen to exchanges like “what are you snacking for? Now you’ve got shit all in your teeth,” between a mother and her young daughter.
• Accept that the picture was going to be unflattering and possibly even scary to look at.

By the time we got in to the studio, Babby was sleepy, red eyed and nose-rubbing, and it took a long time to get a good smile from him. When we did, the red and watery eyes were noticeable in the portrait, and there was a black hair stuck to a booger under his nose, which may or may not show up in the enlargements. I’m not sure the picture will really show him off to his best advantage, but the agency wanted a studio portrait, and by gum, they’ll get one.

Except we have to wait two weeks for the portraits to be developed. Even though there is an 24 hour photo processing centre in the exact same room.

But hey, it cost less than ten bucks.

Yes! Bella Needs Help

Tags

books, New Moon, Twilight

Remember, folks, you heard it here first! I’m glad that Reasoning With Vampires agrees with me – see what was posted today!

Dear Bella - Psychiatrists prescribe anti-psychotics, not strait jackets. Some anti-depressants may be in order, too. THATS OK.