Adults Ruin Everything

Tags

adults, child safety, easter egg hunt, fail, how not to do an easter egg hunt

Grown ups are no fun.

We have known this since we ourselves were children.

But it is sometimes impressive to see how great they are at ruining a fun time.

Take the Easter Egg hunt we went to today.

We thought a community Easter Egg Hunt sounded like a fun time, and since entry donations support a local woman’s shelter, we also thought it sounded like a good cause.

The place was packed. Swarming. We were a little surprised. PH had to drop us off and park a klick up the road.

I got Owl registered and we found our way to the section for ages 3-4. I thought it was smart of them to divide it by age group so that big kids wouldn’t be snatching from little babies.

When we got there I discovered that “hunt” was a bit of a misnomer. The playground area had been roped off and little bags of chocolate eggs were strewn willy nilly over every horizontal surface within the small boundaries. I realized it would be less of a hunt and more of a grab-what-you-can. Think of the Cornucopia Blood Bath in The Hunger Games.

I positioned Owl close to the ropes, handed him his basket, and quietly advised him that if he was having trouble getting any candy, he should head up the playground equipment because the kids would probably scramble for the stuff on the ground first.

They started the count down. 10… 9… 8…

When the count go down to “go!” something strange happened.

I had been expecting all the kids to rush in and mob the playground.

Instead, the adults standing around the edge all grabbed their kids’ hands and shuffled in, creating a solid wall that Owl couldn’t get past, and sweeping up all the candy like Roombas so there was nothing left for the kids behind them.

I directed Owl to dodge between a pair of adults and try to get in front so he could actually, you know, hunt for Easter eggs.

He disappeared beyond the wall of adult bodies.

The adults had zombie-shuffled across the entire field, and it was packed with adult and small child bodies. The playground equipment was in complete gridlock, with children wedged into every available space and practically overflowing around the edges. None of them were my son. None of the kids around the base of the equipment were mine. Nor could I see him around the edges of the play area.

Now, I don’t usually worry too much if I lose sight of Owl. I may suffer from anxiety, but I also trust my kid and for the most part I trust other people. Owl knows he’s not supposed to go out of my sight and he isn’t the type to completely disappear. He doesn’t leave the general play area without permission. So when I lose sight of him it’s usually because he’s behind something or under something and simply out of my sight line.

But in this densely packed environment, with adults and kids swarming everywhere, I could see how easy it would be for a child to get snatched.

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Oh Sears, You Bastion of Traditional Sexism, You.

Tags

catalog, catalogue, Christmas, gender, gendered toys, pink, sears, sexism, toys

Catalogues have been known for over a century as a great way to entertain children. Owl will sit quietly for long stretches as he flips through Sears’ Toy Shop Christmas Catalogue.

He may love it, but Perfect Husband looked over Owl’s shoulder one day and was horrified.

The Sears Christmas Catalogue is supposed to catalogue toys, but it also catalogues gender stereotypes, to the point where you wonder whether this is supposed to be tongue in cheek.

Surely nothing in this day and age could be un-ironically THIS sexist?

A quick flip through the catalogue shows boys playing with cars and dinosaurs and boxing bags and discovering amazing science, while girls wearing pink hold dolls and use knitting machines and quietly paint, while totally ignoring entire shelves full of awesome cars and tools they could be playing with.

When they do touch something that could potentially be interpreted as masculine, such as a bow and arrow or a car, they are interacting with a pink version of it, because obviously things need to be pink for girls to play with them.

But it goes deeper than that.

Even the way that they are STAGED with the toys reeks of 1950’s style sexism. Like, to the point where you have to wonder if they’re being serious.

How I Managed To Avoid Being A Victim of Sexual Assault

Tags

jian ghomeshi, luck, molestation, rape, risk, sexual assault

I have never been raped.

In a world where victims of sexual assault are blamed, disbelieved, and shamed, I am fortunate to be free of that.

FORTUNATE.

Canada is currently going through Ghomeshi-gate, in which an always-creepy Canadian celebrity has actually lost his job amid a wave of accusations from multiple women who all say that he has beaten them and sexual assaulted them.

Canada seems firmly divided on who to believe – the powerful celebrity who hired a PR firm to help craft his “poor me” facebook post defending himself, or the multiple unconnected women who have only their reputations to lose by coming forward.

One man on Perfect Husband’s facebook feed actually had the gall to say that since some of these women went on one or two subsequent dates with him after the initial violent incident, and since none of these women went to the police about it, they were therefore “consenting and complicit” to the abuse which followed.

*cue steam coming out of Perfect Husband’s ears*

Furthermore, while some people ripped this guy a new one, others, including women, agreed with him.

And I can’t understand it. Because even if you’ve never been assaulted, does that really imagine that you can’t imagine what it would be like? Why do people need to believe that assault victims are lying, or to blame?

I know people who were molested as children. By a family member, by a babysitter, by a parent’s boyfriend.

I have friends who were raped. No, they didn’t call the police. They somehow allowed the rapist to convince them that it was their own fault. They didn’t think they would be believed. They didn’t want to be called a “slut” by some victim blamer on Facebook.

I can’t blame them. Not for the rape, not for keeping silent.

I firmly believe that sexual assault victims did not bring their assault on themselves. I firmly believe that rape can happen to any woman. When people blame a victim of sexual assault, or refuse to believe her because she didn’t tell anyone for years, I am filled with fury on their behalf.

Because there but for the grace of… what? God? Who is he to pick who is and is not raped? No. There but for the grace of good fortune go I.

Do certain situations increase the likelihood of rape (such as, for instance, drinking at a big frat party)? Sure. But getting into my car increases my likelihood of being in a car accident. If someone ELSE runs a red light and hits me, THEY are the ones who broke the law, and they are the ones the insurance company would find to be at fault. The insurance company wouldn’t say, “Well, you chose to take that particular route, even though there is a high crash frequency at that intersection, so what did you expect?”

I have been through a few high-risk intersections, when it comes to sexual violence.

Why I Loathe Vani Hari, Or, There Are No Pancakes In My Chicken Fried Rice

Tags

bad logic, debunk, fear mongering, french fries, logic fail, pseudoscience, pumpkin spice latte, science, the food babe, vani hari

I need to talk for a moment about how much I despise The Food Babe.

At first I was barely aware of her. I heard people making a stink about the “yoga mat chemical” in Subway and largely ignored it because what do you expect in fast food?

Then the Pumpkin Spice Latte thing happened.

Suddenly, my Facebook was alternately full of people going “OMG PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE SEASON” and this:

 

Several things struck me as weird about this.

Let’s go through them.

1. Caramel Colour Level IV. I googled it. The first three hits are a variety of studies on its safety in which IT IS FOUND TO BE TOTALLY HARMLESS.

2. Did anyone actually think there is really bits of pureed squash in their latte? Wouldn’t that taste weird?

3. So… the cows ate feed which contains GMOs… so… I should avoid Starbuck’s milk? Is… that different from all the milk sold in all the stores? Because I don’t think so.

4. I’m sorry, 50 g of sugar is TOXIC? I mean, sure, no one’s saying that 50g of sugar is healthy, but isn’t there more sugar in a candy bar? (why yes, there is). In fact, a Banana Berry Smoothie at Jamba Juice contains more sugar. Besides, to me, “toxic” defines as reaching the LD50, or dose that is lethal enough to kill half the people who eat it. The LD50, or “toxic” level for sugar is 300 g/kg. Based on my body weight, that means that I would have to drink 504.5 Pumpkin Spice Lattes for even a 50% chance of getting killed by it (I hope no one does the math and figures out how much I weigh…).

And finally, I went on the Starbucks website and actually it’s only 50g if you get a GIANT one with 2% milk AND whipped cream. An actual normal sized drink without a bunch of EXTRA DAIRY is really more like 34g, which matches up with a veggie puree at Jamba Juice.

5. I’m not even sure why this is supposed to be scary. These natural flavours could be from ANYWHERE! Oh noes. What if it’s MEXICAN natural flavours? I don’t want my xenophobia tainting my drink, even if it IS natural.

6. If you haven’t had an allergic reaction when drinking a Pumpkin Spice Latte, you’re probably okay. If you have, you probably don’t need The Food Babe to tell you to steer clear.

7. POSSIBLE pesticide residue? Like, she’s just throwing in “maybes” now. MAYBE, okay, not positive, but WHAT IF the coffee beans were picked by someone WHO HAD EBOLA. ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DRINK THAT.

8.  Okay, this is the only valid complaint. Secret dairy. I accept that as a concern.

Anyway, so I went on a bit of a rampage posting snopes articles at this thing left right and centre until it stopped showing up on my news feed.

But the Food Babe didn’t.

The next time I saw her it was a complaint about MacDonald’s fries.

The claim was that America and Canada have silly putty in their french fries, while those lucky brits do not.

So of course I googled it. And I learned that this supposedly scary chemical is NOT silly putty but an ingredient thereof. Furthermore, it is used to help prevent workers from being burned, because it reduces spitting and such from the fry oil. The chemical is largely harmless and present in fairly small quantities.

Also, wait. Why is Silly Putty scary? It’s non toxic and we hand it to small children for them to mess around with.

So, basically, the logic goes as follow:

1. Something we eat shares an ingredient with something else.

2. Therefore, that something else is IN the thing we eat. (I love this logic. Eggs are used to make pancakes AND to make chicken fried rice. Therefore there are pancakes in my chicken fried rice.)

3. The something else which shares this ingredient is a harmless substance that is considered safe for small children to play with and probably eat.

4. ?

5. PANIC.

Amusing as the bizarre logic is, here’s what gets me riled:

It’s not that I am a big defender of MacDonald’s. Clearly, being a rational human being, I don’t think their food is good for me.

But that’s actually my point.

DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK THIS WAS GOOD FOR YOU?

You ate at a fast food restaurant knowing that the food would be bad for you. Then you find out one of the ingredients is something which has been cleared by the FDA and is added to keep workers safe. Cue OUTRAGE.

…

…

WHY???

I mean, are we supposed to be upset that the British are getting much healthier, safer fries? Because they aren’t. THEY’RE STILL SALTY, FATTY, CARCINOGENIC FRENCH FRIES.

And they’re delicious.

So either eat them and accept it or avoid them and suck it up. But ONE TINY INGREDIENT ALSO FOUND IN A HARMLESS CHILD’S PLAYTHING should not be the deciding factor here.

So after this, I started looking up this Vani Hari woman.

I discovered that she launched giant campaigns against places like Chick-Fil-A and Chipotle because their food contains GMOs. Even though pretty much all the food at your local grocery store and in every chain restaurant everywhere are ALSO GMO and even though there is no scientific reason to be scared of eating GMOs.

I learned that she has caused numerous false food-scares by mixing up chemicals, such as pointing to the ingredient propylene glycol and calling it “antifreeze”, when actually it is used as a non-toxic antifreeze ALTERNATIVE.

And I have watched her style of fear mongering spread all over my facebook feed.

Now, I see other pages who have copied her scare tactics.

Here’s how it works:

1. All-Natural Generic Facebook Page/Blogger picks a multisyllabic ingredient from some already-recognized-as-unhealthy food.

2. All-Natural Generic Facebook Page/Blogger finds some non-food product with that same ingredient.

3. All-Natural Generic Facebook Page/Blogger shares a photo of the two products together with a question like “what is paint thinner doing in Lucky Charms?”

No, that wasn’t a random example. For serious:

Never mind that the product on the left is NOT PAINT THINNER, but something we use to clean our walls before we apply the paint.

If the All-Natural Generic Facebook Page/Blogger was ACTUALLY interested in educating the public, they would answer their own question. But they aren’t, because the actual answer (I learned with about 30 seconds spent on Google), is boring:

Trisodium Phosphate is a non-toxic food additive which is sold in some health food stores as a nutrition supplement because it has been linked to improved performance in cyclists. It is also very good at cleaning things.

*yawn*

But instead of actually learning something, people go up in arms about it and freak out, when the REAL question is,”DID YOU REALLY FEEL GOOD ABOUT FEEDING YOUR KIDS LUCKY CHARMS TO BEGIN WITH? HAS THIS REALLY SHATTERED YOUR FAITH IN ALL THAT YOU THOUGHT WAS SAFE AND HEALTHY?”

If I see one more version of “this ingredient has more than two syllables so let’s be scared!” I’m going to start making my own:

I’ll point out that Gripe Water, promoted for helpless colicky infants, contains baking soda – sorry, SODIUM BICARBONATE – which is ALSO FOUND IN INDUSTRIAL GRADE FIRE EXTINGUISHERS. WHY ARE WE FEEDING FLAME RETARDANTS TO BABIES.

I’ll make sure everyone knows that their favourite brand of pickles contains vinegar – sorry, ACETIC ACID – which has been proven to be effective against 99.9% of bacteria. WHAT IS DISINFECTANT DOING IN YOUR GERKINS?

I’ll advertise the fact that X Brand of Jam contains PECTINS, which are used to GLUE CIGARS. WHAT IS CIGAR GLUE DOING ON OUR TOAST???

It may not stop people from panicking over nothing, and it may not teach people to use Google before they get frightened by big words, but dangit, it’ll be amusing.

Maybe THAT’S why she does it.

From Cis Person To Cis Person: Why Trans People Are Pissed About Jared Leto’s Golden Globe/Oscar

Tags

academy award, actor, actress, cis, drag queen, female impersonator, golden globe, jared leto, offense, oscar, trans, transsexual, transvestite

So, I am woman.

I was born this way.

I also have a vagina.

Some people aren’t so lucky. Those people are called transsexuals. This is not the same as being gay. They have the brain of a woman or man in the opposite gender’s body.

A couple of my friends are trans women and I can thoroughly attest to the fact that they are not, in fact, gay men.

Now, the rest of us, who feel reasonably comfortable with the genitals they were born with, are called “cis” by the trans community, which is a little organic chemistry joke that I’ve always appreciated.

Last night for our 8 year date-a-versary, PH and I took ours cis-selves to watch the Dallas Buyer’s Club. We had heard grumblings about the movie on Facebook after Jared Leto was awarded an Oscar for his portrayal of a trans woman in the film.

The two complaints we had heard bandied about most often online was that

1) The trans community was upset that a straight man was asked to play the role instead an actual transsexual, even thought there are plenty in Hollywood.

and

2) Leto thanks everyone BUT trans people in his Oscar acceptance speech, and didn’t even mention AIDS victims in his Golden Globe acceptance.

Now, since I’m not an actual member of the trans community, just a friend of it, I didn’t expect to be particularly upset by either of these points.

If anything, I was hoping to be able to champion Jared Leto, and remind people that it doesn’t matter if you’re actually gay or straight, trans or not, as long as you can really walk in the other person’s shoes.

Then we watched the movie. 

First of all, I was BLOWN AWAY by Matthew McConaughey (or, as PH calls him, Matthew McConahonnahonnahonney because he says he’s “never sure when to stop saying the name”).

It is a tribute to McConaughey that PH didn’t even recognize him, and PH recognizes EVERYONE. He even immediately identified the voice of the actor who played Q on Star Trek… while watching a My Little Ponies episode.

So I was prepared to be just as blown away by Leto, trans community grumblings or no.

But we were both shocked at the portrayal of “Rayon”, Leto’s supposedly trans character.

Here are a couple of real trans women.

Sophie Wilson, British scientist

Trish Salah, Canadian poet

Now, meet “Rayon” (which sounds like a drag name, doesn’t it?)

Imagine that when people thought of you, they thought of that picture up there. And try to understand why everyone represented by “Rayon” is upset.

Rayon walks, talks and behaves with the exaggerated femininity which you are accustomed to seeing in movies like To Wong Fu and The Bird Cage.

Movies about drag queens.

These are female impersonators. That is totally different from a trans woman. You can’t impersonate something you ARE.

Now, I love To Wong Fu, and The Bird Cage. Love love love. They are light hearted, kind-spirited and funny.

But they aren’t about trans women.

If Leto were supposed to be playing a gay guy who loved to dress in drag, I would have cut the movie a lot of slack. Sure, it’s yet another stereotype – no mould broken, no new thoughts for the straight public. But whatever.

I see the point of Rayon in the movie. Invented by the writer, Rayon is supposed to form a foil to the homophobic main character, Ron Woodruff and help him see the humanity in people of all sexualities.

Rayon is meant to be the worse-case-scenario – the thing that most horrifies homophobes – the dreaded feminine man. With AIDS, no less.

Fine.

But don’t call this person a transsexual.

The director of the movie, Jean-Marc Vallee, clearly doesn’t even understand what a transsexual IS.

In an interview with CBC, Vallee is asked if he ever thought of hiring a real transsexual. He replies, “Never” and follows it up with asking if there even are any trans actresses out there.

Uh… yeah? LOTS?

Hasn’t he even heard of Orange Is The New Black?

The weird thing is that one of those actresses, Calpurnia Addams, apparently spoke with Leto when he was preparing for the role.

Did the director not know this?

Through the interview, Vallee keeps calling Rayon a “guy”. The most confusing moment is when he calls him a “transgender guy”. This parallels the film, where Rayon is consistently called “he”.

So… wait. Leto actually played a woman transitioning to a man who still dressed like a woman?? That would take some good acting.

Look.

I’m not saying Leto can’t act.

But if someone is supposed to be playing Napoleon, but they put on a thick German accent and a moustache that looks like it shrunk in the wash, I don’t think you should be given an award for playing Napoleon.

I don’t care how passionately you played it. You got the wrong character. 

And it just helps continue to confuse people about the difference between a transsexual and a drag queen.

Look at this Wikipedia article, which Wikipedia won’t let me edit because of something to do with my IP address. It talks about an openly transvestite mayor, but keeps calling him “transgendered”.

I followed the links to articles about the guy. He is a cross-dresser. He is a STRAIGHT man who likes to put on women’s clothing and dress like a woman. That is a cross-dresser.

But these articles use the words interchangeably, not noting the degrees of difference between cross-dressing and the more generic term, “transgender”. And that represents the general attitude of the general public. Man in woman’s clothing – all the same.

Can you blame transwomen for being frustrated? They aren’t gay. They don’t get sexual thrills from dressing like women. They’re just… women. In blue jeans, and T-shirts. Sipping coffee. Checking facebook.

They aren’t flamboyant over-the-top drag queens.

Not most of them, anyway. I suppose there could be a trans MAN out there who is a GAY MAN and acts flamboyantly gay accordingly. Why not?

But I don’t think that’s what Leto won the Oscar for.

feel like Leto was given the award for putting on a dress.

And that’s probably wrong because just like Matthew McConaughey, Leto had to starve himself for his role. He threw his heart and soul (misguidedly) into it. He probably put up with a certain amount of guff for it.

But the thing is that practically any straight actor who plays someone gay in a drama gets an Academy Award, or at least a nomination.

Tom Hanks, for Philadelphia (which was a GREAT portrayal of a gay man since he didn’t say “fabulous” even ONCE). Sean Penn, for Milk. Philip Seymour Hoffman, for Capote (boy I’m sad he died). Charlize Theron, Hilary Swank, Nicole Kidman, William Hurt… even Christopher Plummer had to play it gay in order to finally get an Oscar.

Meanwhile, let’s talk about all the gay people who have played straight people and won Oscars.

*crickets*

Okay, let’s talk about all the gay people who won Academy Awards for ANY role.

*tumbleweeds*

Nominees?

…..Sir Ian McKellen.

That’s IT.

But all you have to do is play a transsexual, act like a drag queen, offend the people you’re supposed to be representing with your inaccurate portrayal, and boom, you’re in.

Because you put on a dress.

People who have argued with me about the award are people who were genuinely moved by Rayon in the (otherwise excellent) film. They think Leto did a great job, because he seemed like a believable character to them.

Well, sure he was believable… as a drag queen.

The problem is that most people don’t understand the difference. They don’t understand what it must be like to have everyone think of Rayon when they think of YOU.

They don’t understand why the trans community is upset at once again being misunderstood, misrepresented, and having stereotypes that they have worked hard to abolish being perpetuated.

To those who argue, let me say this:

As far as I can tell, almost NO trans people are happy about the way Rayon was portrayed.

No, if the Black community thinks that Mammy in Gone With The Wind is racist, and you are white, I don’t care how much you love that character. You should accept that Mammy is a racist portrayal.

You can argue she did a great job at playing a stereotype, but if you’re white, don’t try and argue  to Black people that it ISN’T a stereotype.

Similarly, if you are cis, and you loved Rayon, well, go ahead. 

You can still love the character. But remember that trans people probably know what represents them better than you do.

Don’t delude yourself into thinking that she isn’t perpetuating a stereotype that makes life harder for real trans people.

And don’t delude yourself into thinking that this is a good thing, which deserved awards in front of millions.

[EDIT: With the Oregon mayor listed above, I originally had mentioned that “transvestite” is not the same as “transgendered”. However, according to the Wikipedia definition, “transgendered” is an umbrella term that includes both transgenderism and cross-dressing. So the wording in the article is correct, but nowhere near specific enough – definitely enough to cause confusion among cis folk. Also, since the term “cross-dressing” is considered more appropriate than “transvestite,” I have replaced the term appropriately. The more you know!]

Dear Canadian Tire – This Is How You Do It, Baby

Tags

business, Canadian business, Canadian Tire, climbers, customer service, play sets, Toys R Us

I have to say, my previous post was the first I have ever made about poor customer service which did not get an immediate response from the involved company’s social media representatives.

Even though I directly tweeted my post to Canadian Tire, no one from Canadian Tire has emailed me or tweeted back apologizing for the bad experience or offering a solution, which is what companies like Chapters and Future Shop did in the past.

I was hoping they would, because I still wanted that f*%^ing climber, and I still wanted to support a Canadian company.

But they didn’t.

So I went to Toys R Us.

Where everything was done right.

I’ve decided to break it down, so that in case Canadian Tire ever actually decides to try and leave the stone age, they will have a handy guide.

How To Sell A Product To A Customer.

Toys R Us happened to have the exact same climber that Canadian Tire had, but they also had more information – like the NAME OF THE MANUFACTURER. Turns out that it’s a Step2 product, like the Skyway Summit thing I was looking at. If the Canadian Tire site had mentioned that it was Step2, then I (OR THE CANADIAN TIRE EMPLOYEES) could have gotten the dimensions from the Step2 website.

Even better, we didn’t actually need the dimensions because Toys R Us not only had their climbers prominently on display, but actually set up so you could walk around them and SEE their dimensions.

Toys R Us had the product IN STOCK.

Toys R Us employees knew where the product was.

Toys R Us also had the product ON SALE. $100 off, in fact.

So there you have it – we confirmed that it could fit, and then brought home the climber we wanted (with some help from our awesome neighbours with the giant van) for cheaper.

WITHOUT ANY USELESS AT ALL.

I want to support Canadian businesses. I do. One by one, they’re going out of business or getting bought out by giant American box store brands.

But how can I support them when they don’t even seem to give a crap about getting my money, basically refusing to give me the product I want after I visit TWO locations AND tweet them about it… and then a big American company actually makes it easier and cheaper for me to get what I want?

Canadian Tire, if you go out of business some day, this is why. THIS. Right here. You don’t need to hire other companies to help you figure out what sucks. I’ve got it written down for you already.

Dear Canadian Tire. I have money. I would like to exchange it for goods and services.

Tags

bad customer service, business, Canadian Tire, climbers, play sets, Step 2, Toys R Us

Now that our yard is almost habitable (there’s still the ant problem, but we’re working on it) PH and I are beginning to dream big – like, maybe, we could put something out there for Owl to play on.

We’ve talked a lot about what that might be, but we are constricted by two things:

1. Our yard has the dimensions of a postage stamp

and

2. Our yard is built four feet up on a retaining wall, and the fence blows in the breeze:

So we need something that will fit in our yard without giving Owl the opportunity of tumbling directly into or over our fence.

Everything we have looked at has either been not awesome enough, or FAR TOO AWESOME for our yard.

Who Needs Science Or Logic? Not Star Trek: Into Darkness!

Tags

benedict cumberbatch, Enterprise, fail, khan, logic, movies, reviews, science, star trek, star trek: into darkness

A friend took Owl so we could go to a movie this weekend, so I dragged PH to Star Trek: Into Darkness.

Not because I thought it would be good but because I figured it would at least interest him.

It definitely INTERESTED him.

It also may have shrivelled his soul.

I’m not an original Star Trek fan. As much as I love George Takei, my knowledge of Star Trek starts with Captain Picard.

But PH is a genuine Trekkie, he even owns a detailed manual to the Enterprise, which he consults occasionally, so I was surprised that he was so accepting of the 2009 reboot. He was okay with the ending – he felt it left room for the director to make new story lines instead of simply rehashing old stuff.

So I figured this movie would be about the same.

Yeah, about that…

PH’s brain nearly exploded about two minutes into the movie, and it just went downhill from there. Even I, as a non-Trekkie, was offended.

If you are a Star Trek fan, you probably shouldn’t see this movie.

The funny thing is, when we mention it to people, including people who claim to be fans of the original series, they have all said “What? It was good…” Then PH starts pointing things out, and they go “Oh, well, yeah… yeah… you’re right… that didn’t make sense…”

So allow me to rephrase.

If you kind of liked Star Trek and you like movies that are shiny (like me), you should see this movie.

It is VERY shiny.

If you are a Star Trek fan and consider yourself a PURIST, which I think all true Trekkies DO, you should NOT see this movie.

Nor should you see it if you have an interest in, oh, SCIENCE.

I’ll start with non-spoilers, so don’t be afraid. I’ll warn you before I give away anything remotely important.

In Which We Celebrate A Pagan Fertility Festival, With Good Reason. And Chocolate.

Tags

Easter, easter bunny, easter egg, fertility, pagan rituals, parenting, pregnancy, toddlers

This was the first Easter where Owl was old enough to sort of understand what was going on.

Previous Easters may have confused him some.

WHY AM I DRESSED LIKE A RABBIT?

Anyway, we skipped the whole “Jesus rising from the dead” part of Easter (since “Jesus” and “dead” and “nailed his hands to a piece of wood” are not things he can or should understand yet) so we stuck to the pagan fertility festival part of it.

He was quite excited about the Easter bunny part.

“Mister Bunny come… come to our home… bring me… CANDY!”

“Yes, Owl, the EASTER bunny will hide candy.”

“And eggs!”

“Yes, and eggs.”

“Yes. I like him!’

“So do we, honey.”

After an argument over how much toys/candy a two year old should get for Easter, PH and I settled on hiding ten plastic eggs, five filled with stickers and five filled with lollipops.

I put a toy ball, a colouring book, and a bubble blowing kit in his basket.

Easter was FUN. Even though we hid the eggs as openly as we could, Owl only found a couple without increasingly specific hints.

“How about over there, Owl? Are there any eggs over there? No? Are you sure? Did you look on the shelf? RIGHT THERE AT EYE LEVEL? No? ARE YOU SURE? WHAT ABOUT RIGHT THERE AT THE END OF MY FINGER?”

He was so proud of himself whenever he “found” the things, too. It was very cute, in an “oh my gosh, toddlers have mush for brains” kind of a way. (Owl did not improve his apparent IQ by biting into an Easter Egg, shell and all, and munching on it quietly until I noticed and snatched it away, explaining to him that you DON’T EAT THE SHELL). All in all, “Mister Bunny” was a hit, and he struck multiple times. One of our neighbours made a drop on his behalf on our doorstep, and he got a second hunt at his friend’s house that afternoon.

PH and I are forced to “help” eat his candy while he is sleeping.

You know. To save him from himself. And also because we’re emotional eaters. Pagan fertility festivals for the win.

In which I change the direction of the blog

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I should leave my blog logged out more often, so much hate, why does PH hate me

Dear reader,

I’ve decided that, now that I’ve been writing this blog for almost four years, it needs to go in a new direction. Your comments on this recent post convinced me of that.

So from now on, I shall be focussing the vast majority of my posts on…

Pinkie Pie!

She’s awesome. Just so awesome. I invite you to read through the link above and truly appreciate the hard work that went into creating a Wiki page that has that much information about Pinkie Pie.

I’ll still update occasionally about Owl, of course, but I really find that he’s taken a backseat in my life ever since I discovered this:

 

So thank you as always for your readership, and I hope you enjoy my new path. And remember…