Why If By Yes?

As you may have noticed, I stole the title of my blog from E.E. Cummings. His poem about the love affair of noone and anyone rings as music in my soul. The beauty of the rhyme brings sense to nonsense, and takes me to a place where I am calm, and peaceful, and ready to dream.

 

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn’t he danced his did

Women and men(both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn’t they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed(but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone’s any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hope and then)they
said their nevers they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes.

Women and men(both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

-E.E. Cummings

To me, “If By Yes” means moving from uncertainty to certainty, from wishful thinking to determination, from someday to today, from dreaming to living. It means dwelling on the nebulous, but also on the factual. It means thinking of possibilities, but also of realities.

If By Yes is about my struggle with depression, the joy I find in my friends and family, the things I wish I could change, and the things I would never want to change. It’s about dreams and books and loving looks and hopes and fears and laughter and tears.