PH only had one day off this week. Sunday. So of course, we filled Sunday with plans.
PH decided that since we were both exhausted from the recent disrupted nights, that Sunday should be dubbed Nap Day.
I pointed out that I don’t really do naps. It’s rare that I actually manage to fall back asleep once sufficiently roused in the mornings, and on the rare occasion that I do, they seem to make me groggy and disoriented, rather than rested. Early nights don’t work for me, either. I need sleep-ins.
PH used to get up with Babby for a couple of hours in the morning on weekends so I could get some extra shut-eye, but over the last couple of months the nights have been so disrupted, and Babby’s morning wake-ups have become so early (often 6 or 6:30 in the morning) that he tends to sleep through Babby’s wake-ups in the morning. Not wanting to disturb him, the man who sometimes works 6 day weeks, I would get up with Babby and usually by the time PH achieved consciousness, I had Babby changed and breakfasted and everything.
So, we decided that this Sunday PH would take Babby in the morning, and I could sleep in. Then, while I put Babby down for his morning nap, PH would get a nap himself. That way we both would get a couple of extra hours.
The rest of the day’s plans were filled with renewing car insurance, shopping for new scrubs for me, groceries, and then dropping Babby off at Pug Mama’s house while we went off to a movie.
Well, you all know how well things go when you plan a herculean number of things into one day.
The first thing to go was our extra sleeps. Babby woke up a little later in the morning than usual, around 7 am, after a semi-disrupted night. His cheerful noises roused both of us, and we talked out the day’s plan a little more. Then PH went to the bathroom, and we both went on autopilot.
I changed Babby’s diaper and sat in the rocker while he played in his room. PH, emerging from the bathroom, was distracted by the shiny internet and sat down at the computer, as he usually does in the mornings before work.
After half an hour or so he became aware of the fact that Babby and I were no longer upstairs. He found us downstairs and I was giving Babby breakfast. We all ate breakfast and then I went back up and put Babby down for his morning nap a little early (so we could get All Those Things Done).
I think PH felt bad about me losing my sleep-in, so he suggested I try and nap with him. I couldn’t fall asleep, and neither could he (although usually PH could nap on a bed of ice and rocks if given the opportunity).
So neither of us got our extra sleep. Nap Day was a fail.
Babby’s morning nap was inexplicably long, so when he woke up we only had time for car insurance, lunch, and then a drive-around to conk Babby out for a while before delivering him to his baby sitter (handing her a tired Babby and saying ‘Have fun!” seemed cruel and unusual).
The rest of the day went fine. We saw our movie, but it went longer than we expected so there was no time for a dinner afterwards. We picked up groceries instead with the remaining time, because we’re romantic like that.
We fetched Babby, who had apparently behaved himself very well, and took him home and put him to bed. We stared mindlessly at Mythbusters and then we took ourselves to bed, too.
That’s when things got weird.
Babby slept.
And slept.
And SLEPT.
He woke up ONCE, at 2, and went down fairly easily. Then he slept until 5 AM.
We should have been rejoicing in the streets, and PH was inclined to do just that.
Problem is, I don’t rejoice at 5 AM.
I don’t do ANYTHING at 5 am, except sleep, or growl.
When PH suggested just ending on a good note and letting Babby get UP for the day, I was all like “OH HELL NO.” The kid was rubbing his eyes and yawning. No reason why he couldn’t go back down for another couple hours and then I could SLEEP.
Except that, yawning and eye-rubbing aside, Babby seemed quite determined to stay awake this time.
“I don’t think he’s going to go back down,” said my husband, the realist.
“HE’LL GO DOWN,” I said through gritted teeth.
PH decided that I was being scary and took himself back to bed, essentially saying, “good luck with that.”
And he wouldn’t go down, the little blighter. He kept yawning, and rubbing his eyes, but he was like “look, you wanted me to sleep and I slept. I’m done now. Up time.”
At 6:30 PH took control and decided that everyone had had enough. It was his usual wake-up time anyway. PH was annoyed with me for not believing him when he had said that Babby wouldn’t go down, and for ending such a successful night with tears and struggle. I was annoyed with the universe for not letting me get some effing morning sleep.
“What good is it to me if he sleeps from 8 am until 5 am?” I asked him, “if I can never fall asleep before midnight? And what message do we send him when we just let him get up when it’s still dark out?”
I was being unreasonable.
I KNEW I was being unreasonable.
But damnit, I wanted to defend my attempts to put him back down, because it’s one thing if I try to get him to sleep to a decent hour and fail. It’s another thing to just GIVE UP and let him get up when it’s still frigging dark out.
What if it is 4:30 am next time? Should I get up then? How about 4 am? How about 3? Why not let him just stay up all night like he wants to and give up on the sleep training entirely?
So PH went to work frustrated with me, and a little scared. I put Babby down for a nap at eight (and he went easily because he’d been up since FRIGGING FIVE) and tried to get some more shut-eye. Maybe another hour or two would restore my faith in the universe.
It usually takes me about half an hour or so to fall asleep, sometimes an hour if I’m trying to nap.
He was awake at nine.
NINE.
I’m not in a good mood.
Today should be a GOOD day. He SLEPT last night!
So why do I feel like an angry ball of fail?
emryathome said:
I’m tired just reading your post.
IfByYes said:
You know your posts are too long when… :-p
Jessica said:
Sleeping was the bane of my existence until Graham was…. oh, 18 months. He was a good night sleeper but terrible napper. And figuring out the timing of every day’s naps, trying to work around them, and then getting so flustered when he slept for 30 minutes (are you KIDDING me??) was not fun.The period from 12 months to 16 months was the WORST.
Sadly, I think it’s one of those things you must just adapt to as best you can. I never got any useful advice. People said, “Hey, this is your one-nap transition!” It was not. Unless I wanted one 30-minute nap a day. Can I say “Hell, no!!” Wish I had advice.
Well, I guess I do have some. I started taking ambien so I could sleep at night when I got the chance, especially when I wasn’t getting home from work until past midnight. I didn’t have time to “wind down” or relax I just needed to sleep so I didn’t die. Thanks to my sleeping pill, I did survive those months. But they sucked.
IfByYes said:
But didn’t they knock you out too much if the Bug woke up in the night?
Jessica said:
Not for me. But I know they’re different for everyone. You can also try melatonin, OTC, not as powerful, but only works getting you to sleep and then wears off.
grammargeek said:
My lord. What have I gotten myself into?
IfByYes said:
But it’s SO MUCH FUN.
When it doesn’t suck.
kenanddot said:
For ages, Hugh thought 5.30 was the perfect time to wake up. Fortunately I find it quite easy to go to bed early, but it was irritating having no evening. In fact I still have no evening, because Frank takes ages to go to sleep and has gone back to insisting we stay with him while he does it, and then Hugh wakes at 6. I’ve come to the conclusion one just has to be grateful for small mercies (a largely unbroken night, in our case).
But I don’t think you were wrong to try to resettle Babby when he woke early. If that’s unusually early for him it certainly seems worth a try. You just have to find out what works and what doesn’t.
IfByYes said:
Babby’s schedule has been slowly getting earlier and earlier. If 5 am becomes a thing, I’ll weep!
Samantha said:
I’m afraid that when 5 am became a thing over here the only thing that worked was going in and saying “it is not time to get up yet, night night” and then going back to bed and essentially doing CIO (or in this case Ignore the Babbling and Singing It Out) morning after morning until it stuck. Grant you, he was 22 months and knew how to put himself to sleep so that makes a big difference. I know you’ll find something that works for you!
IfByYes said:
We have a great clock for that when he is older – The screen is blue with stars at night, and then it turns yellow and the sun comes up when it is ok for the child to wake up! Babby likes saying “night night to Mr. Sun” but doesn’t get the concept yet.