In 2003, between my third and fourth year at university, I tried a diet with my mother for two weeks.
It was called Atkins.
For two weeks we ate nothing but protein and leafy vegetables. No bread. No pasta. No potatoes. No reason to live.
The weight melted off.
I stayed on the diet for the rest of the summer. I lost 30 pounds, I had more energy than an ADHD kid on Redbull, and I felt AWESOME about myself.
I kept that weight off for a year, too. During the week I fed myself protein and veggies, and on weekends I splurged on a bag of chips or some popcorn. That held my weight steady.
That was one of the best years of my life so far.
The next year I was graduated and working as a telemarketer. I missed university. I missed Perfect Husband, who was still just Best Friend Who Worshipped Me From Afar But Now Lived In Frigging Vancouver. I hated my job.
I started eating perogies for lunch.
Then my boyfriend’s mother brought us an economy sized box of Kraft Dinner.
Then, when I suggested cooking something other than Kraft Dinner, my boyfriend would say “ugh, I don’t feel like eating *insert suggestion here*. Let’s get McDonalds.”
I gained 10 pounds.
Since that wondrous summer, when I broke free of my carb addiction, my weight has slowly creeped ever upwards.
I was 213 before Babby was born. Since then, my weight has plateaued at 175, which is still a good 15 pounds heavier than my pre-baby weight, and THAT was a good 15 pounds heavier than I was on my wedding day, and THAT was 15 pounds heavier than I was after the Summer of Awesome.
I don’t recognize myself in photos.
One problem is that no other diet seems to work for me. Diabetes runs in my family and my body just seems to chemically bond to sugar and then somehow turn it into twice its weight worth in fat. I could eat nothing but salads and whole grain bread, but so long as that bread is there, my weight wouldn’t budge.
The other problem is that I can never get past those first few days, when you’re detoxing from the carbs and you feel like you would sell your soul for a piece of toast.
…that is a universal feeling, right?
Well, I’m trying again. I don’t dare do it too strictly – I don’t want to mess with my milk – but I have to do SOMETHING. I hate my weight. I hate how I look. My clothes don’t fit. It’s just UGH.
But it’s only day 2 of the diet and already I’m starting to think: “Do I really want to ruin my last week off with Babby by cutting out carbs?”
And then I think “Do I really feel like I can’t enjoy my SON without CARBS?”
So I’m fighting it. But it’s hard going. Without carbs to soothe me, everything feels too difficult.
Take our morning walk: I can’t force myself to go all the way down and up the hill on our normal daily walk without my walkolate bar to reward me, so I’m taking dog and baby across the road to the playground.
I’m glad they’re happy, at least.
Anyone have a piece of toast I can nibble? I have a baby I could sell you.
If By Yes 
Ugh. You have my sympathy. And also empathy.
I weighed more than I liked before I got pregnant, and after I stopped being sick all the time, I’ve started picking up weight pretty quickly. I’m trying not to obsess about it now, because that feels selfish, but it’s going to be rough dropping it.
I thunk Babby is worth at least a large baguette, though.
Breast feeding does help. A lot. I KNOW that I couldn’t have eaten as high-carb a diet as I have been eating without gaining weight if I weren’t breastfeeding, and in the early days when I was nursing almost constantly I was losing weight quite regularly.
Good luck to you! I know what you are going through. Well the weight part, not the Babby part. Check out myfitnesspal.com It’s been making tracking stuff easy, and dare I say, kind of fun. (not a paid endorsement) :O)
I’ve totally done the myfitnesspal thing. It is GREAT! Problem is, caloric intake doesn’t seem to make a difference! If I can’t hack the Atkins, I’ll go back to it though.
Have you ever considered that you may have a yeast overgrowth problem? I don’t know exactly how the BC health care system works, but if it is affordable (or if you have private health coverage), it may be worth a trip to a naturopath. And you know I’m a hard core science geek, but I do think naturopathy has a lot to offer.
ANYWAY, if it IS yeast overgrowth, it would explain A LOT (from what I know of you), and the Atkins diet in many ways is pretty much what you need to do to get rid of it. Although, I think the candida diet may not be quite so hardcore, so may be easier on you (I think you are allowed up to a slice of bread a day, or the carb equivalent), and I don’t think it really condones saturated fats the way Atkins does (which is one of a couple of things that turns me off of Atkins). However, speaking of saturated fats, if you like coconut (which has saturated fats but the fat consists of short-medium chain fatty acids, and so act very differently in the body than animal fats) I would recommend buying a tub and adding it by the spoonful to smoothies, or cooking with it (not using too high a heat or else you may change the properties of this healthy fat). It’s very good for getting rid of yeast overgrowth…if that indeed is the problem (and I am no expert AT ALL, but I really suspect that is what may be going on here). Be warned though- if you have a really bad overgrowth issue, and the yeast start dieing off quickly and releasing toxins into your body, you may suffer a HerxHeimer reaction- where you basically feel like you have a really bad flu for several days. May be a problem if you are about to start work/have a baby.
Just my two cents. Good luck- I know how frustrating it is to not feel comfortable in your own body. In my mind I’m skinnier than I really am, and am always surprised and horrified when I see pictures of myself.
Much love. SG
*a tub of coconut OIL.
…would a yeast overgrowth also result in frequent fungal skin problems? Like, er, an itchy patch behind my ear that has been there for over a year and, say, a fungal rash?
Yes. It definitely would. A friend’s mom has yeast overgrowth once and while it took a good while to get it under control, her overall health (not just her weight) did improve pretty dramatically once she did.
I think yes, it would explain that (as well as many manner of skin irritations such as eczema and acne…but you’ve never had acne, so go figure). It would definitely explain carb addiction, feelings of low mood and depression, anxiety, sleep disorder…etc. Kind of like GADs, sometimes I read the symptoms and think “well, I guess *everyone* has candida overgrowth! 😛 But at least, something to think about. I read somewhere that in the Atkins book there is a chapter dedicated to yeast overgrowth, so maybe ask your mum about it since I know she’s read the book. I’ve heard that practitioners (and Atkins himself) suggest avoiding mushrooms or any foods that may have moulds on them (cheese, nuts, etc) because consuming moulds can trigger candida or at least feed them…that doesn’t make any sense to me at all (about as much sense as saying one shouldn’t drink cola because it’s more acidic than battery acid…even though our stomachs have hydrochloloric acid. Although, I do think we should limit intake of colas for OTHER reasons :P).
Another note- my understanding is that little of this has really been proven by science (although, I think avoiding refined carbs and generally eating low-carb does have a lot of support within the science community, and at the very least is intuitive). But, I’ve heard excellent feedback from friends who have gone through the candida diet or some form of it that I really think there must be something to it. And even though I KNOW it is similar to Atkins, for some reason I find myself supporting this diet more.
Interesting – I looked it up and it looks almost exactly like Atkins, actually!
Yes the sell your soul feeling is universal. At least, I have it too, so universal in a sample of two. I’m a South Beach fan-like Atkins but fat conscious and allowing carbs back in slowly. It feels like a delightfully balanced way of eating (when I do it) and I have tons of energy. After the first few days of hell.
Yeah, it’s that hell part.
I did South Beach, which is very similar to Atkins and was down to 140 from 200! Then I met my own version of PH and have gained 30 ish lbs back in 3 years.
I am ready to take the plunge again. I am like you and the strict protein/veggie diet works for me. I am usually a sugar addict, so those first 3 days are the worst. My sinful thoughts always include pizza, though.
Oh and there are these crunchy baked cheese things, I can’t remember the name–they are just round crunchy Parmesan cheese treats that help satisfy my craving of salty, crunchy things and are completely atkins/south beach diet friendly! I find them at whole foods or the fresh market. I don’t know the equivalent in Canada.
Good luck!!
Thanks! Must be on the lookout for similar cheese treats.
Boy do I hear you on this. I’ve been advised to cut out grains and sugars due to some of my health problems, and I most definitely have those times that I would sell my soul for just a bite of something with SUGAR. There have honestly been times that I’ve debated whether or not a backslide in functioning would really be so bad if I could just have a bite or two of something sweet. Not being able to get your own snacks is one heck of a detox-by-force, let me tell you… 😉
Things that I’ve found made a huge difference for me in terms of limiting those cravings were eating more food, more often, including some extra healthy fat. If I don’t manage to get hungry, then I tend to crave much less. It’s the dips in blood sugar that do me in, and I get them pretty quickly after eating if I’m not eating more by then. Fat seems to stem the tide of the cravings in a similar way to a little more carbs, but only if I have it in advance by a couple of hours. So if I notice I’m getting mega cravings around 3pm, I know I need an extra handful of nuts in the early afternoon the next day to prevent the same thing from happening again. Don’t know if it will help you or not, but I was pleasantly surprised at what a difference it could make.
Of course, if it’s too late and I’m already craving… Well, I have a lovely cat to trade you if you’re looking to offload a chocolate bar.
(just kidding, of course. I love my cat.)
(almost as much as chocolate)