I know you’re waiting on the big torch bearer update, and it’s coming – I have it half written. But first I need you guys to think really good thoughts for me.

Had my first OBGYN appointment today, at 12 weeks along, and while my worries about finding them curt or dismissive or anything like Dr. Useless turned out to be usual Carol nonsense… something I hadn’t worried enough about happened instead. (See, I’m still convinced that worrying prevents problems, and if I had only worried about this enough, instead of worrying about that, things would have been different.)

They couldn’t find a heart beat on the doppler. The intern tried it, then called in the experienced RN, who had an excellent bedside manner being a combination of both brisk and efficient, but sympathetic and cheerful… and she couldn’t find it either.

She looked at me.

“You’re going to worry about this, aren’t you?”


“You’re lying, aren’t you?”

“Through her teeth,” said Perfect Husband, who wasn’t looking relaxed either.

“I’m sure it’s nothing, the baby is really small right now and this happens a lot. But we’re going to get you an early ultrasound, just to put your mind at ease,” she said cheerfully.

So we waited while she argued with an ultrasound clinic over the phone. She came in looking (somehow) annoyed but still cheerful.

“So, I tried but I couldn’t get you in for today. They said they had male rooms, but no female rooms available. I don’t understand why you can’t go into a male room, since it’s the same equipment and it’s only one person at a time, but they got annoyed when I started asking questions, so it’s tomorrow.”

Balancing reassurance and sympathy perfectly (and hey, that’s tough – to dismiss concerns without sounding dismissive? That takes talent.) they told us again and again that this happens all the time, and we promised that we wouldn’t worry about it.

“You’re lying again, aren’t you?”

They’re good.

We know everything will be fine tomorrow. And then we’ll go to the Victory Ceremony and see the Barenaked Ladies! Plus we get to see our baby way earlier than we would have otherwise. So it’s all good.

But… think good thoughts for us anyway, ok?