Perfect Husband and I are in bed and settling down to sleep. For me “settling down to sleep” means reading for an hour in dim light until I develop the ability to go unconscious. For Perfect Husband, it means *snore snore snore snore*.
Perfect Husband: “I have a vital task for you.”
Perfect Husband: “Before you go to sleep, turn the dryer on to timed dry so it doesn’t run all night. Do this, and I will reward you with riches beyond your wildest dreams.”
Me: “And if if I don’t?”
Perfect Husband: “I will lick the inside of your nose.”
Me: “…I’ll remember.”