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~ the musings of a left wing left hander with two left feet

If By Yes

Tag Archives: writing

Round 5: Words. You Should Know How To Use Them

01 Friday Jun 2012

Posted by IfByYes in TwiBashing

≈ 56 Comments

Tags

authors, books, grammar, Harry Potter, jk rowling, literature, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, Twilight Saga, writers, writing

   VS  

 So, here we are.

We’re compared these authors by their prejudices, their morals, and their ability to construct plots, devise good narration, and describe the action (as well as their ability to describe the characters).

But there is one important point that we haven’t covered, and it seems like a fairly important one, considering the medium in which these ladies work:

Words. You Should Know How To Use Them.

I really feel that this is the ultimate requirement for a writer, don’t you?

A writer uses words as her medium the way that a painter uses paint. What you write and how you write it is important, of course, just as the subject and execution of a portrait is important…

…But if you don’t know how to mix those paints on your palette before you put them onto the canvas, you’re never going to get a great result. So now I want to examine the skill with which each of these authors wields their pen.

First I’m going to break down their use of the individual parts of speech – nouns, verbs and so on. Then we’ll talk about how well they are put together to make coherent (or not) sentences.

Note: You may notice that a lot of the examples I give come from the same books/sections. I hope you’ll forgive me for grabbing examples in chunks, rather than carefully trawling through the whole series to find a varied selection.

Continue reading →

Rowling vs Meyer, Round 4 – How Can I Describe Meyer’s Writing?

18 Wednesday Apr 2012

Posted by IfByYes in TwiBashing

≈ 23 Comments

Tags

adjectives, adverbs, books, characterization, characters, criticism, description, Harry Potter, jk rowling, literary criticism, literature, reviews, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, writing

Remember how I talked about cramming the universe into a teaspoon when it came to comparing J K Rowling with Stephenie Meyer? Well, when I actually started on discussing the writing, I discovered that I had to split it into two. This is the second half of round 3. The reason it took so long was that it was STILL getting out of hand. Therefore, there will also be a Round 5. It’ll probably stop there. Probably.

In this round, we will look more closely at the way these two ladies write – specifically, their use of description and their ability to create unique characters… or the lack thereof.

(A note about spoilers: I will keep Harry Potter spoilers to a minimum, only letting go the kind of information that you could pick up from your standard movie trailer and have probably picked up on already, unless you live in a world without other people. Twilight spoilers, on the other hand, abound, because I can’t “spoil” Twilight any more than I can “spoil” a compost heap.)

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Image

Round 3: Rowling vs Meyer – Time to Actually Discuss THE WRITING

04 Tuesday Oct 2011

Tags

book titles, books, Breaking Dawn, criticism, Eclipse, Harry Potter, j.k. rowling, literature, narration, New Moon, plot, reviews, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, Twilight Saga, writing

I have talked about the messages behind Twilight and Harry Potter, and now, I think, it is time to actually discuss these two ladies as writers.

I know, crazy talk.

There are many different aspects of writing, so I’m going to try and go through them individually, since each writer has strengths and weaknesses. There are a lot of aspects to consider, so there will be a fourth round as well.

I’m going to give Stephenie Meyer a head start…

(A note about spoilers: I will keep Harry Potter spoilers to a minimum, only letting go the kind of information that you could pick up from your standard movie trailer and have probably picked up on already, unless you live in a world without other people. Twilight spoilers, on the other hand, abound, because I can’t “spoil” Twilight any more than I can “spoil” a compost heap.)

Continue reading →

Posted by IfByYes | Filed under TwiBashing

≈ 40 Comments

In Which If By Yes The Blog has a birthday, and Carol thankfully does NOT

18 Saturday Jun 2011

Posted by IfByYes in Early Writings By A Child Genius, My Blag is on the Interwebs

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

blogs, time, writing

This blog is officially two years old today.

Is it just me or does it feel like a lot longer? And yet, the time has flown by between then an now. It’s very strange.

When If By Yes began I was renting, working, depressed, and whining about how I wanted a baby.

Now I’m a home owner (albeit of a musty, small, falling-down townhouse), looking for a job, anxious but happy, and whining about how I don’t want to leave my baby.

I’ve fancied up my blog theme a bit. Feel free to complain. If you all hate it I can always change it back. I”m still tweaking the background and such. How is it loading, for you?

As another part of my celebration of Two Years of Blogging On My Ass, I’m introducing a new segment to If By Yes:

The Early Writings of Carol The Genius

While I was home, I dug out some of “books” that I wrote as a child.

The first, written when I was in grade 4, is called Follow The Animals Home and chronicles the adventures of two Mary Sue characters who own a ridiculous number of pets and end up wandering around the wilderness around the Niagra Escarpment. The second, All That Glitters is a slightly better effort about a motley assortment of kittens, puppies, and a horse who go tramping all over the countryside looking for the “perfect owner”, only to be continually disappointed.

Both are hysterically funny, although I don’t think I was trying to be at the time.

I also found a book of my early poems.

Now you, too, can enjoy selected segments from these early efforts! Marvel in the genius!

Or laugh uncontrollably.

Whichever seems appropriate.

Shall I start you off with a poem? 

Canadians

there isn’t a Canadian that doesn’t feel for creatures,

not even one, I’m not kidding it’s really quite a feature.

Even people that start out shooting as a child,

soon realise there doing and become gentle  and mild,

with animals,

why?

– Me, age 11

In Which Carol Reads Eclipse And Throws A Book Against A Wall

15 Friday Apr 2011

Posted by IfByYes in Shhh, I'm Reading, TwiBashing

≈ 27 Comments

Tags

criticism, drek, Eclipse, literature, reviews, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, writing

*headdesk*

I finished Eclipse the other day. It’s been difficult trying to narrow down what stuff to bitch about, because there’s so much wrong with everything.

Good stuff: They finally wrap up some plot lines that have been running since the start of the series. Also, the character of Jacob is almost three dimensional, since he has both good and bad qualities and usually says interesting things. When he’s around, the story is almost interesting.

Edward, on the other hand, totally loses any remaining Byronic qualities and becomes an insipid piece of female fantasy with absolutely no personality.

Bella remains an idiotic, martyring, moaning, boy-obsessed twatwaffle who is basically a bad person. Stephenie Meyer remains an astonishingly bad writer (never mind whether or not you like the story or the characters, the writing is bad. Just awful. Swifties and weird grammar and misapplications of the word “literally” everywhere).

Continue reading →

Even though I have no style IRL

26 Saturday Mar 2011

Posted by IfByYes in Memes, My Blag is on the Interwebs

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

blog awards, Blogging, blogs, links, memes, writing

Recently two amazing fellow bloggers, Big Dog Momma and Curiosity, tagged me with the Stylish Blogger award that has been going around. I am honoured, blushing, etc etc. I’ve taken forever to respond, because it requires the following:

1. Link back and thank the person who gave you the award.

That’s easy enough. I’ll even do it twice! Check out

Canis Majoris Madre – it has dogs, kids, and occasional poop. What else could you ask for?

Emotional Umbrella – Curiosity may be my secret Long Lost Twin. Our brains tend to parallel each other in creepy and inexplicable ways. Except she is much more hilarious than I will ever be.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

TOUGH, because I have to share seven NEW things that I didn’t share before in this meme.

1. I hate my hair. Seriously, I have the worst hair in the history of hair. It is limp, and hangs in greasy strings. It is extremely fine and gets staticky easily. You can’t volumize it. Legions of hair dressers have tried. Conditioner makes it hang in greasy strings. Mousse sometimes works if you blow dry, but the volume only lasts for an hour or so. After that, it hangs in greasy strings. Layering helps a little, because then it hangs in layered greasy strings.

You can’t put it up. It is so fine that it provides absolutely no friction. Pony tails slide out. They managed to get it up for my wedding (hee hee, that’s what she said) but it took over FIFTY bobby pins. PH counted them when he took my hair down at the end of the night.

Also, it only parts down the middle. People have assured me that if I part it elsewhere for long enough, I can “train” my hair to part somewhere else. I have been parting it on the right hand side dutifully for A YEAR AND A HALF, and it still rearranges itself to a middle split within an hour.

2. I like my skin. It’s pretty good skin. It doesn’t get pimply. The Christmas that I didn’t know I was pregnant, I got a pimple. I should have known.

3. Since Babby was born, my toe nails have gone from normal-looking toenails to weird, crunchy, chalky white things. It looks like I painted them with white out. I am baffled, but I assume that my doctor would be of no help to me.

4. I leave empty drink glasses all over the house. I can’t help it. I’m thirsty, I get a drink, I tote it around with me until its finished. I continue moving through the house. I get thirsty again. I go to the kitchen. I get another glass. I tote it around with me… Every now and then Perfect Husband passes me in the hallway with five or six glasses stacked in his arms. He gives me this really long suffering look, says “I love you…” and takes all the glasses to the kitchen. Since I’m supposed to be the house wife right now, I’m really trying to keep this sort of thing down to a minimum, but it’s haaaaaard!

5. I don’t like ice cream. Bleeeeyech.

6. I love apocalyptic stuff and post-apocalyptic stuff. Movies and books about the end of the world… Good, bad, it doesn’t matter (with the exception of Armageddon, which is so awful that I can’t even begin to have fun). I love The Day of the Triffids, as well as Independence Day… Except Independence Day would be better if the aliens won. I like movies that feature famous landmarks getting trashed and people having to start over again. Looooove it. Feel free to psychoanalyze why.

7. I have an extensive Baby Sitter’s Club book collection. It’s sandwiched between Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle and The World of Pooh. Hey, laugh all you want, but at least Ann M Martin could use punctuation appropriately and wrote admirable characters, which is better than some drivel I’ve read lately.

3. Award 5 recently discovered blogs.

Here goes…

1. The Salted Tomato. Looking for a bunch of delicious (mostly) vegetarian recipes, often with an East Indian twist? Look no further. The Salted Tomato mixes in recipes with musings on life in an East Indian family, and it’s fascinating and mouth watering.

2. Mommy By Day. Not actually new to me, but stylish for shizzle. It’s a great photography/mommy blog and Natalie’s daughter is totally adorable. If that little girl wasn’t older than Babby (which I find creepy because I’m conventional like that) and if we lived in another culture I would be arranging a marriage between them. I would give many camels.

3. Don’t Mind The Mess. Jess has a super cute little boy who has recently been diagnosed with a form of autism. She knows how I feel when I talk about babies that scream all the time and don’t sleep. She shares my suspicion of what she calls “sack of flour” babies.

4. The Problem With Young People Today Is… Mr. Mills (you don’t get to call him Don unless you are well into your senior years) is cranky and I love it. I agree with everything he says about young people these days, so he has accepted me as an honorary Old Person. My decoder ring is supposedly in the mail. Presumably it will hock Ovaltine.

5. Reasoning With Vampires. You all know how much I love Twilight. This lady notices the things that I noticed – bad grammar, sentences that make no sense, Bella’s insufferable personality, and her tendency to lose track of things (such as where she is, what is happening around her, whether she is breathing, and where her lips are). Every day multiple SCANNED bits from the Twilight Saga appear, along with brilliant and incisive commentary and highlighting of grammatical errors. It’s hilariously nitpicky. Right now Dana is working her way through New Moon. I can’t wait until she gets to the part where Bella is “literally” up to her elbows in Comet while cleaning the bathtub.

4. Contact them and tell them about their award.

Yeah, I’m far too lazy to get around to doing that. They’re smart cookies. They’ll figure it out.

Humph

05 Thursday Nov 2009

Posted by IfByYes in Shhh, I'm Reading

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

first person, NaNoWriMo, Torch, writing

Okay, you all make me sad by not answering my questions. If I win NaNoWriMo, it’s no thanks to you!

Maybe I won’t even reward you with the full story about Perfect Husband’s torch bearing. The only teaser I’ll give you is… he was one of the ten.

Yeah.

Take that.

As as side note, I have rediscovered how much I like writing in the first person. All the stories I’ve tried to write in recent years have been in the third person, but as a kid I always wrote in the first person. On a whim, I thought I’d try it again and it’s so much better. I feel so free, just being able to say what was happening and what the protagonist is thinking, without having to stumble over creating coherant sentences full of “he thought that” and “he reflected that” and “he noticed that” and “he held out his hand to him”.

HA.

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