Learning to Read: Toddler vs Dog – An Update

Tags

development, dogs, first words, intelligence, reading, symbol recognition, toddlers, training

Back in March, I proposed a battle of wits between my baby and my dog.

It didn’t seem so far fetched, back then. Owl was still speaking in mostly single-word sentences, although with signs he often made two or three word combinations. The average dog has been judged to have the intelligence of an 18-22 month old.

My fellow dog trainer has seen dogs who have learned to differentiate between written words.

So!

To be honest, I was sort of rooting for Beloved Dog, because COME ON, that would have been an AWESOME result.

The problem was, it wasn’t really a fair contest. I could work on Owl’s word recognition at various points throughout the day, like after breakfast, and in the bath, plus he got alphabet work at Daycare.

Beloved Dog got maybe a couple of minutes before his dinner every night.

Within a month, Owl had learned to recognize five words: Ball, Apple, Dog, Car, and Foot. Eye gave him some trouble, as did Bear.

I figured out pretty fast that Owl was not recognizing the word as a whole: he was recognizing the word based on the first letter only.

I was disappointed with this result, but he was still doing way better than Beloved Dog.

I managed to teach Beloved Dog to sit when I held up the “sit” card within a single session, and things were looking good. Unfortunately, when I introduced a second word, things went downhill.

Beloved Dog is paying zero attention to the actual words on the cards. He knows that he should sit sometimes, and down other times, but he’s never sure which he should be doing.

I got disheartened and put the cards away, which wasn’t quite fair to him. I should bring them out and work them more, give him another chance, because Owl has left Beloved Dog IN HIS DUST.

I was able to introduce some more written words to Owl’s vocabulary, but Owl continued to recognize them based on first letter. Watch this video, how he’s guessing the word before I’ve even finished writing it, based on the first letter.

In fact, I began to feel that he was getting entirely the wrong idea from his alphabet work at daycare, and now believed that A MEANT Apple, and B MEANT Ball, and so on. So he just dismissed the trailing letters as meaningless.

And then (and I’m still debating the wisdom of this choice) I downloaded a trial version of a toddler iphone app.

Yes, let the judging begin.

Aside: I have very mixed feelings about letting kids use technology like iphones. First, there’s health. Cell phones are known to give out radiation. Now, I don’t have an iphone, I have an ipod, but I’m not sure that’s really the point.

Second, I think that interacting with the real world is an important part of growing up, and that too many video games robs children of active play.

Nor do I agree with people who say that children should be exposed to technology, since they’ll need it to function in today’s world. I didn’t have an ipod until last Christmas, and I learned to use it within days. I didn’t need to start from toddlerhood. It’s not that hard.

On the other hand, videogames aren’t the demons some make them out to be. People who play a lot of video games have been found to have faster reaction times, better decision making skills, and better fine motor control. Put it this way – if you’re ever looking for a heart or brain surgeon, choose one who owns a video game console and plays it regularly.

Anyway, I couldn’t be a hypocrite – I was always playing on that ipod and Owl wanted to play too, so I found something educational and let him at it. The game was First Words Sampler, a free version of several different paid game options. The idea is for the child to take letters scattered over the screen and slot them into  the correct order to spell the word.

So it’s basically a matching game – put the C in the slot that says “C”, and so on. But a voice announced each letter, and when the word is complete, the word is spelled aloud and then a moving picture and an accompanying sound bite of the object in question – a cat meowing or whatever, is played.

Owl loves it. He could play it forever, which is a problem so we don’t let him have it very often.

Then I discovered something. One day while were playing with words on his magnadoodle with the usual mixed success, I wrote out and spelled aloud one of the words from his game. He recognized it immediately.

I found that he could identify all of the words from that game. He sits there and actually puzzles it out, letter by letter, and then announces the word.

Meanwhile, Beloved Dog has learned to spin in a circle on command. So that’s something.

Let’s give them both an A for effort, shall we? That ought to confuse both of them.

Make Your Own Yes-Man

Tags

language, parenting, toddlers, training

They say that a toddler’s favourite word is “No”, so we trained Owl to say “Yes” instead.

It was fairly easy. We just made a point of only offering a choice for things we KNEW he wanted, like strawberries or going to the park or getting down from his high chair. Preferably something he had been begging for already.

“You want down/strawberries/to go for a walk?”

When he replied “No!” we took him for his word. “Okay, then.”

We’d then hum to ourselves for a few seconds while his little baby brain would nearly burst with frustration. Then we’d offer it again, prompting with “Yes?”

He caught on fast. He basically knows that all of our questions are trick questions. If we are offering him a choice, it must be something he wants, because otherwise we’d just be saying “We’re going inside now, not a choice.”

So now he says “yes” to just about everything.

Me: “Do you want me to sell you to the gypsies?”

Owl: “Yes.”

Sometimes he just agrees with us randomly when we’re talking just in case we’re talking about something HE MIGHT WANT.

Me: “Why did we decide to have a child?”

Owl: “YEAH!”

The only pocket of resistance that we get is when he has to do something he doesn’t want in order to get something he does want. Then it’s pretty funny to watch.

PH: “You want down from the stroller?”

Owl: “Yeah!”

PH: “Okay, but you have to hold my hand.”

Owl: “No! No hand!”

PH: “Okay, then you’re going back in the stroller.”

Owl: “…HAND!!”

PH: “Oh, you want to hold my hand after all?”

Owl: “Yeah!”

I feel so clever for tricking my parents into letting me out of this stroller!

When we’re feeling really cruel, we deny him what he wants even when he puts a comma after the word “No.”

Me: “If you don’t put on your shoes, we can’t go for a walk.”

Owl: “NO, WALK!”

Me: “No walk? Okay. Owl doesn’t want a walk.”

Owl: “No! Walk. Walk!”

Me: “Wait, so do you want a walk?”

Owl: “YEAH!!!”

Me: “Okay, then put on your shoes.”

Owl: “Yeah!”

It’s easy for him to answer yes/no questions when he knows the correct answer is almost always yes (unless we’re genuinely offering him a choice, which happens sometimes).

Either/Or questions aren’t going so well, though.

PH: “Do you want to hold Daddy’s hand or go in the stroller?”

Owl: “Yes.”

PH: “Yes to what? Holding Daddy’s hand or going in the stroller?”

Owl: “Yeah.”

PH: “Owl – do you want to hold Daddy’s hand or do you want to go in the stroller?”

Owl: “…Ball.”

Rage Babby Caught On Video

Tags

babies, baby's first solids, behaviour, food, rage, training

So, I know Babby is much better than he used to be, but he still has his ragey moments. Now, many of them related to food. Food that isn’t being served fast enough. He clenches his fists and screams in impotant fury when he sees food that is not immediately forthcoming.

Obviously, we’re not rewarding this behaviour. We hand him the food when he calms down a bit.

But in the mean time, it’s awfully funny.

And just to assure you that he does still have his cute moments, here’s a totally different kind of video:

A post that starts with a vacuum and ends with an alien. With Babby-training in between.

Tags

aliens, anxiety, bissel, carnivals, dogs, exposure, exposure therapy, fairs, fear, noise, photos, socialization, training, vacuums

We got a new vacuum the other day.

Finally.

Our old vacuum, a Bissel specially designed for picking up pet hair, has been sitting unused for the greater part of a year. I have only dragged it out and switched it on when the cat litter spilled or when the fur levels on the carpet upstairs had reached our knees.

It was a great vacuum once upon a time. In our old apartment, which largely featured open space, it sucked things up great. However,

1. It was never really the same after PH decided to deal with the Spot Incident by soaking up vegetable oil with cornstarch and then vacuuming up the goopy mess
2. Our new house has about the same square footage of our old apartment, but split onto two floors, with stairs in between. There are no wide open spaces. Only corners. And crevices.

Suddenly big-and-heavy-and-filled-with-goop was no longer appropriate for our household.  PH knew we needed a new vacuum, but kept putting it off, because, well, we don’t have any money.

Last week we went out and picked up a Bissel EasyVac for 40- bucks, and it runs great. It’s small, lightweight, no-frills, but it gets in the corners and gets the fur off of the floor.

However, it doesn’t run as smoothly as our old massive vac. PH was holding Babby when I flipped it on for its inaugeral run, and Babby startled noticeably and started to fuss while clutching his father’s shirt.

This is really the first significant fear reaction we have ever seen in Babby. Sure, he startles to loud noises – he even did that in the womb – but he had always recovered quickly. The old vacuum never bothered him, on the rare occasions that we lugged it out and dragged it along the floor.

But he’s getting older, and this one clearly freaked him out.

Now, I’ve never had a baby before, but I know what to do when dogs are scared of something:

1. Acknowledge their feelings with moderate sensitivity. Scolding a fear reaction or totally ignoring it doesn’t help anyone feel validated.  Don’t coddle or get overly mushy, though, because if you’re like “oohh, poor Doggy, it’s scary isn’t it? Yes, let me pat you and take you away from that,” they’ll assume that it means that it really IS scary and their fears are totally justified. So instead you say, “oh, are you scared? It makes a big noise, doesn’t it?” in a sympathetic but cheery voice.
2. Smile to show them that you aren’t scared of it, and preferably demonstrate its harmlessness by approaching the fear object yourself and interacting with it.
3. Encourage – but do not force – the dog to approach the object. We often use treats tossed near the vacuum, for example, or just sitting by it and encouraging the dog to approach US.
4. Never remove the fear object or take the dog further away from it until the dog has managed at least a partial recovery. Otherwise the dog will learn that reacting fearfully makes the object go away, and they will also always remember the object as scary.

Perfect Husband has seen me deal with fear reactions in dogs before, not to mention helping me through my anxiety exposure therapy CBT, so we immediately began to treat Babby’s fear in the same way we treat mine/a dog’s. We didn’t even have to discuss it. We’re a well oiled machine. A well oiled fear-fighting machine.

He hugged Babby and said “Oh, is that big noise scaring you? It’s just a vacuum. Look! Wow!”

I smiled at Babby and moved the vacuum around and said “Oh, it makes a big noise, so you’re scared, but it won’t hurt you. See, it’s a vacuum! I’m using it! Wheee!”

As I went around the room talking to Babby happily, PH slowly approached closer and closer. He stopped if Babby acted too frightened, and then once Babby relaxed a bit, inched yet closer again.  By the time I turned off the vacuum, Babby was right next to the vacuum (still in the loving safety of Daddy’s arms) and starting to relax. You could tell he still wasn’t pleased, but at least he wasn’t trying to climb his father like a tree.

We have noticed several similar fear reactions to loud noises since. So we think it’s time to start socializing him. If we want to avoid his picking up on my anxiety, we need to raise him with the CBT skills that I had to be taught in adulthood:

• approach your anxieties, instead of running away.

So when we saw that the Midway had set up at the local mall, we decided to take Babby. Sure, he couldn’t go on any of the rides (they wouldn’t even let us get on the sedate choo-choo train that went around an oval track a 5 km an hour which the conductor could stop with his hand and that had a sign saying “everybody welcome!”) but we figured it was good socialization just to be around all the noise and bustle. We always used to take dogs to the fair for the same reason.

So we loaded Babby into my new rebozo and walked around.

"Where are you taking me?"

As we predicted, the noise freaked him out. He was clinging tightly to me. He especially disliked that one that goes up and spins and holds everyone to its sides by centripetal force. I told him I don’t like that ride either.

"Eeewww. It makes NOISE."

But I hugged him and told him that it was cool and pretty, rather than scary, and showed him that I wasn’t actually afraid of it (which is only partially true – I wouldn’t get on that thing if you paid me) and we walked all around and ate corn dogs and he began to relax.

"Not scary, huh? Hmm."

Then PH tried to win stuffed animals for me, as he usually does. He eventually gave up trying to win the GIGANTIC fluffy penguin toy, which would have taken up a quarter of Babby’s room but would have made me inexplicably happy, and eventually just won a stuffed alien that I liked, because it reminded me of my little Babby.

"Whadya mean, it looks like me?"

"Oh"

So, all in all, it was a productive day.

Because I know dogs better than babies…

Tags

babies, dogs, object exchange, puppies, resource guarding, training

So, for the last month at least, Babby has begun to object when we take stuff away from him. It isn’t all the time. Usually he’s pretty good about it. But sometimes he has his hands on something really interesting but totally inappropriate, and when I take it away from him, he sets up a protesting wail.

Now, when puppies start doing this, it’s time to start on the object exchanges.

The idea behind object exchange is that you need to take things away from your puppy a lot, and either give the object back or replace it with another, better object. This way, when you take something away, your dog doesn’t think it is the end of the universe. He knows that you’re just borrowing the object and if he waits patiently, he’ll get a lot of praise and then get his object returned. Or, if the object isn’t returned, he’ll probably get a treat or another toy in recompense. Besides, he’s learned that he doesn’t have a lot of choice in the matter anyway, so he might as well give up now and accept his reward.

Once you have established this mindset, it is much easier to reclaim your shoe/sock/underwear/dead bird from your dog’s ravenous maw. Often the dog will happily deliver the taboo item right to your hand (although that’s not what you want in the case of a dead bird).

So that’s what I’ve begun to do with Babby.

I felt the best place to start object exchanges would be with his plastic bucket o’ shapes, which is probably full of phthalates. They are low value (because there are lots of them and duplicates of each shape) and easily swapped (you can exchange a red triangle for a green square).

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So every day, when he’s banging stars and circles together, I say “give that to Mommy!” and reach out for one of the shapes. At first I was mostly prying them out of his chubby little fingers, but now he’s getting the idea and he’s starting to actively try to deliver the shape to my hand. He misses a lot, but it’s the thought that counts.

When I have the shape in my hand, I sign “thank you” while saying in an exhuberant voice “THANK you!”. Then I either hand it back or offer him another shape, which I deliver with a happy “you’re welcome!”.

He thought this was fascinating at first, and for a while he was handing back the shape as fast as I could give it to him, just to watch me do my excited pantomime again. Now it’s beginning to bore him, so he’ll often just hand me the shape and go back to playing, without even waiting to get a shape in return.

That means it’s working.

Soon I will move on to reclaiming higher value items, such as toys and maybe even, someday, his food.

The goal is that when he’s a toddler, and I find him clutching a knife/used tampon/bottle of poison/dead bird, I’ll be able to say “give it to Mommy!” and have him deliver it happily.

It works with dogs, anyway.