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Tag Archives: new years

Thank You, 2015

01 Friday Jan 2016

Posted by IfByYes in Fritter Away, From The Owlery, Life and Love, Me vs The Sad, Perfect Husband

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

depression, family, life, maternity leave, new years, parenthood, parents, pregnancy

I have mixed feelings about the passing of 2015.

Some parts of 2015 really sucked. My husband nearly killed himself, I ended up heavily pregnant, with a bacterial infection, working and caring for our four year old who also had a bacterial infection, while he was stuck in the hospital and unable to help.

My father broke his hip and overall has deteriorated markedly in his health.

My relationship with my son deteriorated, as my capacity to tolerate his extroverted highjinks hit a new low.

I spent a significant amount of this year coughing, exhausted, diabetic, extremely stressed, half-expecting to become a widow at any moment, researching the potential cost of burying my husband, and wearing Depends because I kept wetting myself.

On the other hand…

This year also brought me the generosity and love of the friends and relations who came streaming in to help during these difficult times. There were friends who picked Owl up at daycare when I was stuck at the hospital, and friends who brought Chinese food so that I wouldn’t have to cook, or took Owl for play dates so I could nap.img_1840

There was my mother in law, who is terrified of flying and financially limited, flying in TWICE to spend a grand total of three months sleeping on our couch, just to help.

On the first visit she made me diabetes-friendly meals and arranged snacks for me at a time when I was working and exhausted and could never have kept up the dietary management that was expected of me on my own. She put my son to bed at night and made him breakfast in the morning, she read to him and joked with him and brought some humor and pleasantry to a home that was seething in stress.

On her return she cooked and cleaned, entertained Owl and then held the baby so I could shower, get dressed, eat meals, and spend some quality time with my son.

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And in between those visits, my parents flew in for four months. They took money from their nest egg to rent a place nearby, and my mother drove back and forth making meals and snacks, cleaning, and reading Owl bedtime stories.

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Not only did it bring me much needed aid, but I got to spend time with my father while he still knows who I am.

And this year brought me Fritter, who made a safe landing on the shores of time and gave us the gift of a colic-free fourth trimester. She brings me joy every day with her grins and chortles, and I wouldn’t change a thing about her.

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And with all of those months of support from our family, PH was able to retreat and rest and begin healing. While he is still very ill, I have seen more of the old Perfect Husband in the last three months than I have in the past two years. There are mornings when I come downstairs to find breakfast laid out for me, afternoons when he greets me at the door to take my coat and offer me a drink, and evenings when he rubs my feet and offers to run me a bath.

Whenever he has a good day, I feel like I could suffer another two years just for a chance at more days like that.

I feel like I could kiss 2015 for bringing me even one day like that, let alone as many as I have been gifted with these last few months.

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2015 also brought me maternity leave, which I love because I am a lazy slob. I love being home with my baby and watching The Walking Dead or writing during her naps. It’s way better than working. I’m sad that there are only a few more months left. I have a lot of writing to get down in that time.

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Yes, over all I am very grateful to 2015. I feel like it got handed a terrible set of cards but it played them all right.

2015 for me was a year of defeat and renewal, of family and love.

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We survived it, and maybe it has made us stronger.

If 2016 can keep up with this upward trend, I think I can look forward to the coming year.

And if it can’t… well… Bring it, 2016.

img_4374

Another Good New Year’s Meme: First Lines

01 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by IfByYes in Memes

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Blogging, memes, new years, retrospective

I was browsing through my old Livejournal today and realized how many memes I used to do there. I don’t know if those kind of memes are falling out of vogue now that we have simple share buttons on Facebook, but a lot of them looked like fun. Here’s one that seemed appropriate to this time of year:

Share the first sentence from the first post of each month for the last year (or, as a variation, if your blog is photo-heavy, post your first PICTURE of each month).

Or maybe I’ll do both! Because I’m a KEENER.  

January:

I am nearly thirty years old.

February:

I haven’t updated on the Owl Sleep Situation in quite a long while, and there’s a reason for that.

March:

Hi all,

PH here.

April:

PH and I drove to Seattle for Emerald City Comicon.

May:

As you may remember, Elizabeth Pantley of the No-Cry Sleep Solution sent me some more of her books for me to check out.

June:

So, here we are.

July:

I am an introvert.

August:

Check out my latest post on World Moms Blog, and our shiny new website.

September:

Me: “Owl, I have to use the potty. Do you want to come upstairs with me, or stay here and play with your cars?”

^funny aside: this photo wasn’t even from the same post. It was just the first photo I posted… in my NEXT, totally unrelated post.

October:

PH is seriously pissed off about the whole NHL lockout thing.

November:

I’m attempting NaNoWriMo this year.

December:

Back in March, I proposed a battle of wits between my baby and my dog.

…Okay, now do yours!

That New Year’s Meme, 2012 Style

31 Monday Dec 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love, Memes, My Blag is on the Interwebs

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

2012, end of year, memes, new years, reflection

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

Hmm. I got fired by email. That was fun. I went to Wisconsin. I met Perfect Husband’s grandmother. I also got awarded employee of the year, for reasons which remain unclear to me.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn’t make any last year. Clever girl. I may make some for next year, but I will try to make clever ones that can’t be broken, like, “I will gain weight” and “I will grow older.”

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My friend with the baby who sleeps. In case you missed it, her baby? She sleeps.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My Aunt Helen, in May.

5. What countries did you visit?

The States. A lot of the States. Multiple cross-border trips for cheap produce and shipping, and those trips to Vegas and Wisconsin.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

A million dollars. Time. A clean house. Maybe another child?

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Etched? I don’t think anything in 2012 was etch-worthy.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Finding a job where I am treated like a valuable and likeable human being? Training people’s dogs and getting paid for it? Teaching Owl English?

9. What was your biggest failure?

Let’s go back to that fired by email thing, hey? Probably a lot point. Also, teaching Beloved Dog to read was not overly successful.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Only to my self-respect, although I think that is slowly healing.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My new video camera, probably!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Owl’s, for sure. He’s such a cheerful, chatty little kid. He makes me laugh constantly, he’s never a speck of trouble when we’re out (in fact, he’s helpful for dragging grocery baskets and such), and he potty trained within a week at the age of 27 months. I think I’ll keep him.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My former boss. The man is an idiot, and for all he came off so sweet, he’s a bad person.

You know what I learned from the kennel lady at my current work? He paid that little old woman less than minimum wage – just $300 a week, and she was there cleaning cages and setting up for his surgeries from first thing in the morning until close every day, and came in on weekends to check on the boarding animals. When her husband died and she asked for a raise to help keep house, he said no. I’m so glad I’m shot of that whole nasty place, and working with the people who walked out on him instead.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Debts, food, and that summer trip to Vegas/Wisconsin.

15. What did you get really excited about?

That night to myself. Damn, that was good.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

Gangnam Style, and Call Me Maybe, because Owl loves that damn song so we ended up playing it a lot.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– Happier or sadder? Happier!

– Thinner or fatter? Fatter.

– Richer or poorer? Income-wise, richer by a significant margin, and yet somehow we still seem poorer. It seems like no matter how much extra I make, we never have any more money. It all goes into our debt.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing in my diary. I NEVER do it any more and I miss it.

Also, video editing. I miss that.

I also miss The Sims, but I don’t actively wish I had done more of it. It is fairly low in my priorities.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Eating. Spending money.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Here in Vancouver, without my parents for the first time in my entire life. It was good, but strange.

21. Did you fall in love in 2012?

Not with anyone new. I remained in love. I think that’s better.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Firefly and Better Off Ted.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No, hate is a waste of time and people have been mostly good to me.

24. What was the best book you read?

Hmm, I don’t know. I haven’t picked up many new books, and I’m assuming that old re-read books don’t count.

I started the Game of Thrones books this year, but I feel very conflicted about them, so I can’t call them The Best. Definitely NOT Fifty Shades of Grey. I haven’t even blogged about THAT experience yet.

Maybe Terry Pratchett’s Snuff? It’s no Thud, which is my favourite Vimes book, but it’s growing on me. I Shall Wear Midnight was a bit of a let-down, so not that.

YES, I’m picky.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Pfffff… I don’t make musical discoveries. I like certain songs on the radio, but nothing life changing.

26. What did you want and get?

A NIGHT TO MYSELF. A new video camera. Books. Owl speaking English. Approval from coworkers. Writing jobs. Dog training jobs.

27. What did you want and not get?

A million dollars.

A clean house.

Thinner.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Wreck It Ralph. Wow, and I haven’t blogged about THAT yet, either, have I? Damn, I’m behind.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 30. My friends helped me de-hoard my house and then we went out to dinner.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Becoming a wealthy author who doesn’t have to work (because writing doesn’t count as work).

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

Scrubs/peed-on scrubs.

32. What kept you sane?

Sunshine. Nice coworkers. Owl being adorable. Perfect Husband being helpful.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I… don’t think anybody.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The Occupy movement, the American election. You know – politics of a country that is not my own.

35. Who did you miss?

My family. My friends, including local ones who I never seem to see any more. My life has become too busy.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Probably a girl at my work who I identified as a geek due to her D20 earrings. We’ve discovered a mutual love of Terry Pratchett and board games.

She and her boyfriend came over for a game of Ahnk Morpork last month and they’re coming over again next week for a game of either Small World or Munchkin Quest.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

When planning future children, do the math. We didn’t realize until too late that we had probably missed a window for having a second child, and now Owl will be three or more before we have our next one.

Also, I need to pay more attention to my dog.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Nope, I give up. I’ve got nothing.

Check me out in 2011

Check me out in 2010

That New Year’s Meme, 2011 in review.

01 Sunday Jan 2012

Posted by IfByYes in 30 Posts To 30, Life and Love, Memes, My Blag is on the Interwebs

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

memes, new years

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Well, compared to last year, NOTHING. I did start my own business (although I don’t, as yet, have any CLIENTS). I also taught someone where his belly button is, even if he does still sometimes confuse it with his penis.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Apparently, but I had no memory of what it was. Turns out I resolved to write my dog training book.

Oops.

But on the other hand, I DID start the website and I also founded a dog training business.

That’s pretty close.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, my friend Grace from The Domesticated Nerd Girl gave birth in February and my friend ~K gave birth in May. Both of their babies are now bigger than Owl by a significant margin.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit?

The U.S., for their cheap chicken and peculiar frozen foods.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

A million dollars. Self esteem. A baby who regularly sleeps through the night. A booming dog training business. Organization. The ability to hold my bladder.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I’m sorry, I’m far too sleep deprived to remember dates.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Teaching Owl sign language. Making him laugh. Losing 10 pounds. Biting the bullet to actually start a dog training business. My Twilight posts.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Returning to work. Instead of revelling in the joy of doing what I had been trained to do, I found myself flustered, out of practice, confused, and verbally abused.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Only to my self confidence.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Food, probably. I like food. That seems to be where my money goes.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Owl’s of course! He has never cried once being left at daycare. NOT ONCE. His cheerful, unflappable confidence made the transition to work just that much less difficult

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Cranky Vet. That man is crazy. CRAZY. The new employee, who got all of a week and a half of him, said the exact same thing to me after he left.

CRAZY.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Debt repayment, the housing levy, and food. And flying home for Christmas.

15. What did you get really excited about?

I think I’ve lost the ability to get excited. Extreme emotions – with the exception of occasional crippling anxiety – seem to be out of my reach lately. Maybe it’s a a self defence thing – hiding from my anxiety and poor self esteem, I shut the world away.

I find this a problem. I MISS that level of joy, and I even miss having a good cry.
I do get excited when I go to pick up Owl from daycare, though, especially in the beginning when I missed him SO MUCH. I’d be driving along going “Gonna see Owl! Gonna see Owl!”

But that’s just sort of pathetic.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– Happier or sadder? Sadder. Not by much, but a little.

– Thinner or fatter? Thinner!

– Richer or poorer? Poorer. Thanks to my cut hours, I’m now MAKING as much as I am PAYING for child care. ISN’T WORKING GREAT?

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing in my diary.

Writing. Period.

Cleaning.

Earning money.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Sucking so much.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

At home in Nova Scotia, even though we couldn’t really afford the trip. Next year Owl will be a real person according to the airlines, and we’ll actually have to pay for a seat for him, so a trip will probably be prohibitively expensive, then.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Continued falling in love with Owl. He just gets more awesome on a continuous basis. Still fond of PH, too.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Dragon’s Den. Canada’s Worst Driver. Oddities.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I’m not good at hate. I tend to end up just seeing myself from the hated person’s point of view and hating myself instead.

24. What was the best book you read?

Assuming that we’re talking about NEW books, probably The Help and The Hunger Games.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I’m not that up on the music scene. I listen to the radio. That’s about it.

26. What did you want and get?

Baseboards. A lightweight vacuum. A good daycare provider and Owl’s easy adjustment to care. A cheerful baby. PH to take over more of the “night duty” baby care. An Xbox (used) and Kinect. An iTouch (which I didn’t even know I wanted until I unwrapped it and then I was like “THIS IS EVERYTHING I NEVER DREAMED I COULD HAVE”).

27. What did you want and not get?

A job I feel comfortable in.

Time.

A baby who sleeps through the night.

AND A HARD DRIVE, APPARENTLY.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

The King’s Speech.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 29 last January. My friends took me out to dinner, and passed Owl (then Babby) around.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Being independantly wealthy. Going back to work sucked balls.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Boob hanging out/scrubs.

32. What kept you sane?

Owl’s giggles. His amazing rate of learning. PH cooking dinner. My friends. WELLBUTRIN.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I have never fancied celebrity figures much, although PH and I were recently charmed by that sweetly bashful Jason Keller on Jeopardy!

And there’s always Isaiah Mustafa, of course.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The election.

35. Who did you miss?

My family. Feelings of competence.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Okay, this is a bit of a cheat, because I didn’t MEET her this year, but Pug Mama. I actually met her way back when, in my anxiety group, but she emailed me last year and we got together early this year.

It quickly blossomed into an awesome friendship – she’s an extrovert to my introvert, which means that she keeps calling me and inviting me out (which I need because otherwise I just sit in my hamster cage and wonder why no one ever calls) and since we both understand each other’s crazy, the friendship works well.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

I… um…

uh…

I seriously need to work on my self confidence? Or just, like, STOP SUCKING SO MUCH.

No, wait, I’ve got it – I need to be more like Charlie Sheen.

WINNING.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Who needs sleep?
well you’re never gonna get it
Who needs sleep?
tell me what’s that for
Who needs sleep?
be happy with what you’re getting
There’s a guy who’s been awake
since the Second World War

-Barenaked Ladies, Who Needs Sleep?

Today I don’t feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed

-Bruno Mars, The Lazy Song

And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again

-Mumford and Sons, The Cave

2011: A Year In Photographs

31 Saturday Dec 2011

Posted by IfByYes in 30 Posts To 30, From The Owlery, Life and Love

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

2011, Blogging, linkup, new years, photographs

Joining Farewell Stranger’s link-up, here is my year in photographs!

And yes, they’re basically all Owl photos. Because HE was my year. Work stuff isn’t worth photographing.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I’ll be posting the year-in-review meme soon, too. The long and the short of it, though?

  • Owl looks like people.
  • Working sucks.

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