I was browsing through my old Livejournal today and realized how many memes I used to do there. I don’t know if those kind of memes are falling out of vogue now that we have simple share buttons on Facebook, but a lot of them looked like fun. Here’s one that seemed appropriate to this time of year:
Share the first sentence from the first post of each month for the last year (or, as a variation, if your blog is photo-heavy, post your first PICTURE of each month).
Or maybe I’ll do both! Because I’m a KEENER.
January:
I am nearly thirty years old.
February:
I haven’t updated on the Owl Sleep Situation in quite a long while, and there’s a reason for that.
1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
Hmm. I got fired by email. That was fun. I went to Wisconsin. I met Perfect Husband’s grandmother. I also got awarded employee of the year, for reasons which remain unclear to me.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn’t make any last year. Clever girl. I may make some for next year, but I will try to make clever ones that can’t be broken, like, “I will gain weight” and “I will grow older.”
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My friend with the baby who sleeps. In case you missed it, her baby? She sleeps.
The States. A lot of the States. Multiple cross-border trips for cheap produce and shipping, and those trips to Vegas and Wisconsin.
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
A million dollars. Time. A clean house. Maybe another child?
7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Etched? I don’t think anything in 2012 was etch-worthy.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finding a job where I am treated like a valuable and likeable human being? Training people’s dogs and getting paid for it? Teaching Owl English?
9. What was your biggest failure?
Let’s go back to that fired by email thing, hey? Probably a lot point. Also, teaching Beloved Dog to read was not overly successful.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Only to my self-respect, although I think that is slowly healing.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My new video camera, probably!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Owl’s, for sure. He’s such a cheerful, chatty little kid. He makes me laugh constantly, he’s never a speck of trouble when we’re out (in fact, he’s helpful for dragging grocery baskets and such), and he potty trained within a week at the age of 27 months. I think I’ll keep him.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
You know what I learned from the kennel lady at my current work? He paid that little old woman less than minimum wage – just $300 a week, and she was there cleaning cages and setting up for his surgeries from first thing in the morning until close every day, and came in on weekends to check on the boarding animals. When her husband died and she asked for a raise to help keep house, he said no. I’m so glad I’m shot of that whole nasty place, and working with the people who walked out on him instead.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Debts, food, and that summer trip to Vegas/Wisconsin.
Gangnam Style, and Call Me Maybe, because Owl loves that damn song so we ended up playing it a lot.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– Happier or sadder? Happier!
– Thinner or fatter? Fatter.
– Richer or poorer? Income-wise, richer by a significant margin, and yet somehow we still seem poorer. It seems like no matter how much extra I make, we never have any more money. It all goes into our debt.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Writing in my diary. I NEVER do it any more and I miss it.
Also, video editing. I miss that.
I also miss The Sims, but I don’t actively wish I had done more of it. It is fairly low in my priorities.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Eating. Spending money.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Here in Vancouver, without my parents for the first time in my entire life. It was good, but strange.
21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
Not with anyone new. I remained in love. I think that’s better.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No, hate is a waste of time and people have been mostly good to me.
24. What was the best book you read?
Hmm, I don’t know. I haven’t picked up many new books, and I’m assuming that old re-read books don’t count.
I started the Game of Thrones books this year, but I feel very conflicted about them, so I can’t call them The Best. Definitely NOT Fifty Shades of Grey. I haven’t even blogged about THAT experience yet.
Maybe Terry Pratchett’s Snuff? It’s no Thud, which is my favourite Vimes book, but it’s growing on me. I Shall Wear Midnight was a bit of a let-down, so not that.
YES, I’m picky.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Pfffff… I don’t make musical discoveries. I like certain songs on the radio, but nothing life changing.
26. What did you want and get?
A NIGHT TO MYSELF. A new video camera. Books. Owl speaking English. Approval from coworkers. Writing jobs. Dog training jobs.
27. What did you want and not get?
A million dollars.
A clean house.
Thinner.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Wreck It Ralph. Wow, and I haven’t blogged about THAT yet, either, have I? Damn, I’m behind.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 30. My friends helped me de-hoard my house and then we went out to dinner.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Becoming a wealthy author who doesn’t have to work (because writing doesn’t count as work).
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Scrubs/peed-on scrubs.
32. What kept you sane?
Sunshine. Nice coworkers. Owl being adorable. Perfect Husband being helpful.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I… don’t think anybody.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Occupy movement, the American election. You know – politics of a country that is not my own.
35. Who did you miss?
My family. My friends, including local ones who I never seem to see any more. My life has become too busy.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Probably a girl at my work who I identified as a geek due to her D20 earrings. We’ve discovered a mutual love of Terry Pratchett and board games.
She and her boyfriend came over for a game of Ahnk Morpork last month and they’re coming over again next week for a game of either Small World or Munchkin Quest.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
When planning future children, do the math. We didn’t realize until too late that we had probably missed a window for having a second child, and now Owl will be three or more before we have our next one.
1- You must post the rules 2- Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post 3- Create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged 4- Tag eleven people with a link to your post 5- Let them know they’ve been tagged
PH and I drove to Seattle for Emerald City Comicon. We’ve been looking forward to it for months, ever since we found out that George Takei, a bunch of PH’s favourite web comic artists, Christopher Lloyd, and a bunch of great voice talents would be there.
My only disappointment was that Journey Quest didn’t seem to be making an appearance. Then Christopher Lloyd dropped out and I was more diappointed.
Nevertheless, the lure of George Takei was strong, and PH and I haven’t had a trip to Seattle since Owl was born. We went to stay in our usual motel, a sleazy inn with rates to match, but with the added benefit of in-room private Jacuzzis in some of the rooms. Carol Heaven. Probably also Chlamydia Heaven, but so far I’ve been lucky.
In preparation for meeting George Takei, I ordered a special onesie for Owl. After all, you don’t get to meet a Meme Hero every day.
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Well, compared to last year, NOTHING. I did start my own business (although I don’t, as yet, have any CLIENTS). I also taught someone where his belly button is, even if he does still sometimes confuse it with his penis.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Apparently, but I had no memory of what it was. Turns out I resolved to write my dog training book.
Oops.
But on the other hand, I DID start the website and I also founded a dog training business.
That’s pretty close.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, my friend Grace from The Domesticated Nerd Girl gave birth in February and my friend ~K gave birth in May. Both of their babies are now bigger than Owl by a significant margin.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thankfully.
5. What countries did you visit?
The U.S., for their cheap chicken and peculiar frozen foods.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A million dollars. Self esteem. A baby who regularly sleeps through the night. A booming dog training business. Organization. The ability to hold my bladder.
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I’m sorry, I’m far too sleep deprived to remember dates.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Teaching Owl sign language. Making him laugh. Losing 10 pounds. Biting the bullet to actually start a dog training business. My Twilight posts.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Returning to work. Instead of revelling in the joy of doing what I had been trained to do, I found myself flustered, out of practice, confused, and verbally abused.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Only to my self confidence.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Food, probably. I like food. That seems to be where my money goes.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Owl’s of course! He has never cried once being left at daycare. NOT ONCE. His cheerful, unflappable confidence made the transition to work just that much less difficult
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Cranky Vet. That man is crazy. CRAZY. The new employee, who got all of a week and a half of him, said the exact same thing to me after he left.
CRAZY.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Debt repayment, the housing levy, and food. And flying home for Christmas.
15. What did you get really excited about?
I think I’ve lost the ability to get excited. Extreme emotions – with the exception of occasional crippling anxiety – seem to be out of my reach lately. Maybe it’s a a self defence thing – hiding from my anxiety and poor self esteem, I shut the world away.
I find this a problem. I MISS that level of joy, and I even miss having a good cry.
I do get excited when I go to pick up Owl from daycare, though, especially in the beginning when I missed him SO MUCH. I’d be driving along going “Gonna see Owl! Gonna see Owl!”
But that’s just sort of pathetic.
16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– Happier or sadder? Sadder. Not by much, but a little.
– Thinner or fatter? Thinner!
– Richer or poorer? Poorer. Thanks to my cut hours, I’m now MAKING as much as I am PAYING for child care. ISN’T WORKING GREAT?
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Writing in my diary.
Writing. Period.
Cleaning.
Earning money.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Sucking so much.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home in Nova Scotia, even though we couldn’t really afford the trip. Next year Owl will be a real person according to the airlines, and we’ll actually have to pay for a seat for him, so a trip will probably be prohibitively expensive, then.
21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Continued falling in love with Owl. He just gets more awesome on a continuous basis. Still fond of PH, too.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Dragon’s Den. Canada’s Worst Driver. Oddities.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I’m not good at hate. I tend to end up just seeing myself from the hated person’s point of view and hating myself instead.
24. What was the best book you read?
Assuming that we’re talking about NEW books, probably The Help and The Hunger Games.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I’m not that up on the music scene. I listen to the radio. That’s about it.
26. What did you want and get?
Baseboards. A lightweight vacuum. A good daycare provider and Owl’s easy adjustment to care. A cheerful baby. PH to take over more of the “night duty” baby care. An Xbox (used) and Kinect. An iTouch (which I didn’t even know I wanted until I unwrapped it and then I was like “THIS IS EVERYTHING I NEVER DREAMED I COULD HAVE”).
Okay, this is a bit of a cheat, because I didn’t MEET her this year, but Pug Mama. I actually met her way back when, in my anxiety group, but she emailed me last year and we got together early this year.
It quickly blossomed into an awesome friendship – she’s an extrovert to my introvert, which means that she keeps calling me and inviting me out (which I need because otherwise I just sit in my hamster cage and wonder why no one ever calls) and since we both understand each other’s crazy, the friendship works well.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
I… um…
uh…
I seriously need to work on my self confidence? Or just, like, STOP SUCKING SO MUCH.
No, wait, I’ve got it – I need to be more like Charlie Sheen.
WINNING.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Who needs sleep? well you’re never gonna get it Who needs sleep? tell me what’s that for Who needs sleep? be happy with what you’re getting There’s a guy who’s been awake since the Second World War
-Barenaked Ladies, Who Needs Sleep?
Today I don’t feel like doing anything I just wanna lay in my bed
-Bruno Mars, The Lazy Song
And I’ll find strength in pain And I will change my ways I’ll know my name as it’s called again
Recently two amazing fellow bloggers, Big Dog Momma and Curiosity, tagged me with the Stylish Blogger award that has been going around. I am honoured, blushing, etc etc. I’ve taken forever to respond, because it requires the following:
1. Link back and thank the person who gave you the award.
That’s easy enough. I’ll even do it twice! Check out
Canis Majoris Madre – it has dogs, kids, and occasional poop. What else could you ask for?
Emotional Umbrella – Curiosity may be my secret Long Lost Twin. Our brains tend to parallel each other in creepy and inexplicable ways. Except she is much more hilarious than I will ever be.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
TOUGH, because I have to share seven NEW things that I didn’t share before in this meme.
1. I hate my hair. Seriously, I have the worst hair in the history of hair. It is limp, and hangs in greasy strings. It is extremely fine and gets staticky easily. You can’t volumize it. Legions of hair dressers have tried. Conditioner makes it hang in greasy strings. Mousse sometimes works if you blow dry, but the volume only lasts for an hour or so. After that, it hangs in greasy strings. Layering helps a little, because then it hangs in layered greasy strings.
You can’t put it up. It is so fine that it provides absolutely no friction. Pony tails slide out. They managed to get it up for my wedding (hee hee, that’s what she said) but it took over FIFTY bobby pins. PH counted them when he took my hair down at the end of the night.
Also, it only parts down the middle. People have assured me that if I part it elsewhere for long enough, I can “train” my hair to part somewhere else. I have been parting it on the right hand side dutifully for A YEAR AND A HALF, and it still rearranges itself to a middle split within an hour.
2. I like my skin. It’s pretty good skin. It doesn’t get pimply. The Christmas that I didn’t know I was pregnant, I got a pimple. I should have known.
3. Since Babby was born, my toe nails have gone from normal-looking toenails to weird, crunchy, chalky white things. It looks like I painted them with white out. I am baffled, but I assume that my doctor would be of no help to me.
4. I leave empty drink glasses all over the house. I can’t help it. I’m thirsty, I get a drink, I tote it around with me until its finished. I continue moving through the house. I get thirsty again. I go to the kitchen. I get another glass. I tote it around with me… Every now and then Perfect Husband passes me in the hallway with five or six glasses stacked in his arms. He gives me this really long suffering look, says “I love you…” and takes all the glasses to the kitchen. Since I’m supposed to be the house wife right now, I’m really trying to keep this sort of thing down to a minimum, but it’s haaaaaard!
5. I don’t like ice cream. Bleeeeyech.
6. I love apocalyptic stuff and post-apocalyptic stuff. Movies and books about the end of the world… Good, bad, it doesn’t matter (with the exception of Armageddon, which is so awful that I can’t even begin to have fun). I love The Day of the Triffids, as well as Independence Day… Except Independence Day would be better if the aliens won. I like movies that feature famous landmarks getting trashed and people having to start over again. Looooove it. Feel free to psychoanalyze why.
7. I have an extensive Baby Sitter’s Club book collection. It’s sandwiched between Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle and The World of Pooh. Hey, laugh all you want, but at least Ann M Martin could use punctuation appropriately and wrote admirable characters, which is better than some drivel I’ve read lately.
3. Award 5 recently discovered blogs.
Here goes…
1. The Salted Tomato. Looking for a bunch of delicious (mostly) vegetarian recipes, often with an East Indian twist? Look no further. The Salted Tomato mixes in recipes with musings on life in an East Indian family, and it’s fascinating and mouth watering.
2. Mommy By Day. Not actually new to me, but stylish for shizzle. It’s a great photography/mommy blog and Natalie’s daughter is totally adorable. If that little girl wasn’t older than Babby (which I find creepy because I’m conventional like that) and if we lived in another culture I would be arranging a marriage between them. I would give many camels.
3. Don’t Mind The Mess. Jess has a super cute little boy who has recently been diagnosed with a form of autism. She knows how I feel when I talk about babies that scream all the time and don’t sleep. She shares my suspicion of what she calls “sack of flour” babies.
4. The Problem With Young People Today Is… Mr. Mills (you don’t get to call him Don unless you are well into your senior years) is cranky and I love it. I agree with everything he says about young people these days, so he has accepted me as an honorary Old Person. My decoder ring is supposedly in the mail. Presumably it will hock Ovaltine.
5. Reasoning With Vampires. You all know how much I love Twilight. This lady notices the things that I noticed – bad grammar, sentences that make no sense, Bella’s insufferable personality, and her tendency to lose track of things (such as where she is, what is happening around her, whether she is breathing, and where her lips are). Every day multiple SCANNED bits from the Twilight Saga appear, along with brilliant and incisive commentary and highlighting of grammatical errors. It’s hilariously nitpicky. Right now Dana is working her way through New Moon. I can’t wait until she gets to the part where Bella is “literally” up to her elbows in Comet while cleaning the bathtub.
4. Contact them and tell them about their award.
Yeah, I’m far too lazy to get around to doing that. They’re smart cookies. They’ll figure it out.
Okay, following yesterday’s meme, here’s the video of me saying the words, followed by the answer key. Now, because I already knew the answers (PH tested me on these when we were geeking out over the weekend), I cheat a little bit and discuss the correct pronunciations in the video. So if you haven’t done it yet, be warned!
Answer key.
Click the links to go to Dictionary.com and hear the pronunciation, as well as to see notes on it. I put my screw-ups in red for you to admire!
It’s worth reading because there are some fun misunderstandings of common phrases, too. I couldn’t do that in a written meme, however, because writing it gives it away!
Many of the words this guy lists tend to be regional variations on pronouncing/slurring vowels, especially schwas (how’s that for a word that starts with four consonants?!). This is where Perfect Husband and I tended to differ. While he says things like “mannaise” and “fed-ral”, I say may-on-naise and fed-er-al, because I was raised to do so. Ditto with pronouncing “wh” words differently from “w” words, particularly words like “whet” or “which” that have a different meaning if pronounced “wet” or “witch”.
I tried to avoid many words like that, because I don’t think that’s mispronunciation so much as accent or quick speech.You’ll notice I didn’t pick on whether you said “clothes” or “close” in number 3. Bonus points if you actually pronounce the TH, though, especially if you’re a fast talker.
Also, I out-and-out disagree with some of his claims. He mentions “Tijuana” as a commonly mispronounced word, along with “forte” but Dictionary.com would disagree with him, and if we can’t trust Dictionary.com, who can we turn to in times of trial such as this?? I think that saying people mispronounce “Tijuana” is like complaining that we mispronounce “Paris”: even if it’s not how the French say it, it’s the English word for that city, you know? Besides, “Tijuana” is a slurring of Tia Juana (Aunt Jane) to begin with, even in Spanish.
Some of these “mispronunciations” are becoming accepted (as noted) but are still under debate, so I let them in – let the debate rage! Sadly, my mispronunciations are not under debate.
So… how did you guys do? Someone join me in educated embarrassment, and encourage your own readers to join you in shame as well! If there are lots of us, we could form a group of people who fight for the right to pronounce it res-pite!
Look I found a meme on Postcards From Oblivion! It’s about pronunciation and colloquialisms! You record yourself saying words so everyone can laugh at the way you say them!
Questions:
Your name and/or username
Where you’re from
The following words: Aunt, Roof, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting Image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught, Orange, Coffee, Direction, Naturally, Aluminum, Herbs.
What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house? [on the night before Halloween?]
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you change the TV channel with?
Here’s mine! There’s a Babby in it!
If you turn up the sound at the last bit of the video where I start running out of things to say, you’ll get a bonus of Babby’s complainy-pant noise!
Now you do this meme so I can laugh back at you. Or diagnose the meaning behind Babby’s whine-pant.
EDIT: And by “rainshower” I meant “Sunshower” because my brain and my mouth don’t communicate well.
If By Yes 