In Which Canada is Shocked and Dismayed, and Babby Gets Teeth

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babbling, babies, bloc quebecois, Canada, Conservatives, election 2011, electoral reform, Green Party, Liberals, May 2 2011, milestones, NDP, politics, teething, voters, votes

So, remember how I said Canada was going to end up with the same government as before?

I eat my words OM NOM NOM.

Watching the election was a bizarre mix of pure elation and rich horror for people on both sides of the fence.

Now, this is Canada’s government as of 2008:

Dark Blue = Conservative, Red = Liberal, Orange = NDP, Light Blue = Bloc Quebecois, Green = obvious

This is how Canada was polling before election day in 2011:

Dark Blue = Conservative, Red = Liberal, Orange = NDP, Light Blue = Bloc Quebecois, Green = Obvious

So you can see why I didn’t think there would be any surprises. It should be noted that for the Conservatives to get a majority government, they would need 155 seats, so the projections were showing that they would be at least 10 short of their goal. The NDP were expected to make a big gain, because the leader was campaigning in Quebec and getting a lot of interest there. So the Bloc Quebecois were expected to give up some votes.

This is what happened:

For the first time in history, the Liberals placed third in the popular vote

Despite recieving 40% of the popular vote, the Conservatives win a sweeping majority (12 more than the required 155 seats) and the NDP become the Official Opposition

Not only did the Conservatives win a majority somewhat unexpectedly, but the Bloc Québécois (the Quebec separatist party, which usually holds most of the seats in Quebec) has been virtually eradicated. Even the party leader, who has been in Parliament for 20 years, didn’t get voted into his seat. Technically, the Bloc is no longer an official political party.

The Green Party leader got a seat in Parliament for the first time, which I think is largely a success that can be attributed to vote swapping.

Embarrassingly for the Liberals (who have been either the Federal Government or the Official Opposition for 150 years), not only did they get booted into a dismal third place, but their own party leader didn’t get elected into Parliament. I feel bad for Ignatieff. I always thought he was a bad choise for Liberal leader, but he didn’t deserve that.

Anyway, basically, no one is happy with this government:

The left-wing voters are horrified by the Conservative majority. Now Mr “Harper Government” has the power to make changes against the advice of the left wing Members of Parliament, despite the fact that he only has 40% of the popular vote.

The right-wing voters are horrified by the NDP opposition. You have to understand, this is totally unprecedented. The New Democratic Party puts a strong emphasis on social programs and support for the poor, the blue-collar, and the elderly. They want to put caps on trade, increase taxes on large corporations while giving cuts to small businesses, and increase the old age pension and cut taxes for the old and the poor. They aren’t total socialists or anything – on a provincial government level, as I mentioned before, they actually have a fantastic track record when it comes to handling money responsibly. But you can’t convince the right-wing folks of that, who are sure that if the NDP get into power they would just run around naked in the streets throwing hundred-dollar bills to the homeless and then shredding the rest of the national coffers for confetti.

And now they are opposing our most right-wing faction. Interesting, no?

In a way, it’s a good thing that the Conservatives have a majority. The last few years the Conservatives have blamed everything that went wrong on the fact that they were hobbled by the left-wing Members of Parliament. Now they can’t use that excuse, and we have a strong spokesman for the Everyman keeping him honest.

I think once everyone gets over being horrified, they’ll realize that this government might actually work. And if it doesn’t, maybe it will convince people to go out and effing vote.

Or at least, do some electoral reform.

Jeez.

Meanwhile, in (to me) equally important and world-shattering news, Babby has started babbling again. I haven’t been posting about this because I know I’m a nervous nelly, and I could just see you guys rolling your eyes at me if I started going “So… Babby used to babble, but he hasn’t for a couple of months, now, and now I think he may be autistic because it runs in the family y’know etc etc etc.”

I knew that babies often put one skill aside for a while when they’re working on something else, and Babby has been very focused on learning how to move. He is now capable of dragging his body in counter-clockwise spirals as well as pushing himself backwards. He doesn’t move with great purpose or speed but he moves. We went out and bought a baby gate. Baby proofing is in the offing.

So now that he has started to work that through, he has returned to other skills, to my unspoken relief. In a matter of a day or two he want from NO babbling for weeks to yayaya, wawawa, babababa, dadadada, blah, blah, blah, and so on. He also gives high fives and has discovered clapping.

All in one weekend.

Oh, and he has two teeth.

TEEF. I HAS DEM.

A crash course in Canadian politics: Or, why your Canadian friends will be grumpy this week.

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bloc quebecois, Canada, Conservatives, election 2011, electoral reform, first-past-the-post, governor general, house of commons, in contempt, Liberals, May 2 2011, members of parliament, NDP, no-confidence, parliament, parties, politics, ridings, senate, Stephen Harper, the prime minister, the queen

So, in case you haven’t heard, Canada is having a federal election today. AGAIN.

We do this every couple of years, usually because Prime Ministers have the ability to call an early election whenever they want, and often choose to do so when their approval ratings are running high.

That is not what happened this time. In fact, not only is the Prime Minister unpopular, but 60% of the country never voted for him at all. Ever.

Allow me to explain in a very simplified way. People who want to email me or comment and tell me all the stuff I missed – go easy on me. It’s hard to condense the entirety of Canadian politics into a single blog post. I’m not a politico, I’m a Mom.

(People in the UK, this is all going to sound very familiar to you).

To Canadians: 10 Reasons For Non-Douchebags to Vote On May 2, 2011

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Canada, Canada Votes, Conservatives, democracy, Election Canada, electoral reform, government, Harper, Ignatieff, Layton, Liberals, May 2 2011, MPs, NDP, politics, Prime Minister, ridings, vote, voting

It's his Canada, too

As I hope all Canadians know, we have an election on Monday.

AGAIN.

And yes, we’re tired of elections that don’t change anything and just cost a lot of our money.

YES, we’re frustrated by the first-past-the-post system (I’m in one of those ridings where my vote won’t really count. Even the other MPs don’t think they have a chance. The alternative options are a slouching guy in a funny hat and a shiny 19 year old in university).

YES, the polls are pretty clear about who is going to win the election.

And YES, that means that we may have to go through this whole rigmarole again.

So you totally need to vote:

1. “I’m tired of elections that don’t change anything and just cost a lot of money.”

Then you should totally vote. The money is being spent. Get your money’s worth, at least. Also, if no one votes in this election, everyone is going to be like “k, that one doesn’t count!” and they’ll give us ANOTHER. If there’s a big turnout, then it will be hard to argue that the will of the people is not reflected by the current government.

2. “I’m frustrated by the first-past-the-post system. One party is winning by a landslide in my riding, so my vote won’t count.”

In the Canadian system, sadly, that is true. But in that case, why don’t you vote swap with someone else? If you do that, your vote will count, so you should totally vote.

3. “I don’t trust vote swapping. What if the other guy just votes for his party anyway? Then I’ve been tricked into giving the other guy a double vote.”

Sure that is always a risk… but you didn’t think your vote counted anyway, right? Are you now saying that an extra vote would make a difference? If so, you should totally vote.

4. “I just don’t care who wins.”

Then you don’t get to complain about anything, ever. Taxes too high? Well, you should have voted. No jobs? Well, you should have voted. EI cheque too small? Well, you should have voted. The Prime Minister has proposed a new law to force all Canadians to wear bowling shoes and beanie hats? You really should have voted.

5. “I don’t know what’s going on. I feel like I won’t be making an informed decision.”

Let me Google that for you. Or, if all those words confuse you, here’s a summary of the Harper years with big pictures and comic-book speech bubbles. Form an opinion, for gawdsake. Taxes? Jobs? Economy? Religion? Freedom of Speech? Environment? These things affect you. Spend ten minutes informing yourself, and then you can bloody well vote.

6. “That doesn’t help me. I still can’t decide who to vote for. Everyone’s saying different things. I don’t know who to believe.”

Let me introduce you to Vote Compass. It examines your political views and tells you which parties fit you best. Now you can vote.

7. “Vote Compass dropped me smack in the middle of three left-wing parties. I still don’t know who to vote for.” In that case, why don’t you visit Project Democracy and see who has the best chance of winning in your riding? You’re a perfect candidate for strategic voting, because any one of several parties would suit your views. So you should definitely vote.

8. “There’s no one I want to support. The candidates are all crooks and they’re ugly.”

It’s true that Ignatieff’s creepy eyebrows look like they were scribbled on by Harper while he slept, and that whenever Harper leans into the microphone, I half expect him to moan “braaaaaaaaaaaains”, and that Jack Layton looks like a used car salesman and his chin is too pointy. The party leaders have the combined charisma of an arachnid, I know.

But remember this: the elections are determined by percentage points, not sheer numbers. So your vote actually counts twice – it adds to the percentage of the candidate you vote for, and it dilutes the percentages of the other candidates. So go vote for, like, the Pirate Party or something and screw them all over. It’s your electoral right! With a vote swap you could actually have a chance at voting in an Independant or similar MP who would take a seat in Parliament from the other parties.

It’s not ALL about who is the Prime Minister. MPs have power too. OBVIOUSLY, or we wouldn’t be having an election. Vote for the MP who looks the least useless.

9. “I hate the whole political system and I’m not going to support it by voting, because I’m all brilliant and cynical and DEEP like that.”

Yeah, because the world’s history is filled with people who changed the world by simply NOT participating in Democracy while making whiny comments on the sidelines. If you hate the system so much, change it. Vote for the people who will make those changes, or even better, put your money where you mouth is and run as an independent next election.

10.  “Like, I still really don’t think one vote will, like, matter, and I totally have a hair appointment that day and it’s super important.”

That must be what 42% of Canadians said two years ago, because that’s how many people didn’t vote.

I think that nearly 10 million people probably COULD have made a difference last election, but maybe that’s just me.

In this election, the three biggest parties are 5 – 7 percentage points away from each other in the polls. 42% of the population could make a HELL of a difference in those numbers on the actual election day, so you should totally vote. 

Make the decision to vote, and then convince everyone you know to vote, too. Send them this link. Send them other links. Convince them, too. Then it isn’t just one vote, it’s ten votes. If all of your friends convince some other people to vote, it’s even more. And more. And the next thing you know, you’ve changed Canada’s political history, all by posting a few links and then checking a box on a slip of paper.

Besides, there’s a secret 11th reason why you should vote: You are legally entitled to three consecutive hours off on Monday, PAID, to vote.

BONUS, am I right?

11. “Maybe I’ll take the time off work “to vote”, but not waste my time voting.”

…Yes, you could do that, but that would make you a lazy, deceitful douchebag. In fact, don’t vote. Because I really don’t need my country’s future being determined by lazy, deceitful douchebags. You are excused. Watch out for George Takei on your way out the door.