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~ the musings of a left wing left hander with two left feet

If By Yes

Tag Archives: internet

Why Social Media Could Save The World

25 Saturday Aug 2012

Posted by IfByYes in My Blag is on the Interwebs

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Blogging, facebook, internet, myspace, pinterest, social good, social media, social networking, tumblr, twitter

Social Media has been blamed for teen depression, poor grades, crime, identity theft, data mining, censorship, divorce, envy, bullying, defamation, anti-semitism, and pretty much everything else.

In fact, if Facebook hadn’t been launched three years too late, I’m sure someone would have linked it to September 11th by now. 

But the fact remains that in a few short years, social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter have become so popular that they even get their own verbs.

Facebook, being the most popular social media company out there, tends to be the social media scapegoat, much the way that McDonald’s is the scapegoat for the fast food industry. They get blamed for everything the most.

Maybe it’s because nearly a billion people use Facebook to some extent and it bothers us that one company owns information on that many human beings.

Maybe it’s because breastfeeding photos are taken down, but holocaust denial groups and pro-anorexia boards thrive.

Maybe it’s because no one is entirely sure they understand their own privacy settings.

Maybe it’s because we want this excellent method of sharing our information with others to be (paradoxically) completely private.

Maybe it’s just that there’s something creepy and Big-Brotherish about Facebook and its ilk.

We are sure that all of this online sharing of information must be bad. Anything this addictive can’t be good.

Social Media is frequently labelled as the the downfall of true human interaction.

Studies have found that teens who use Facebook a lot are much more likely to be depressed, have lower grades, and all sorts of other problems in their lives. We talk a lot about how much social media is changing our world, and we’re pretty sure it’s for the worse.

We have never been more detached from one another, or lonelier. In a world consumed by ever more novel modes of socializing, we have less and less actual society. We live in an accelerating contradiction: the more connected we become, the lonelier we are. We were promised a global village; instead we inhabit the drab cul-de-sacs and endless freeways of a vast suburb of information.” – Stephen Marche, The Atlantic

But I disagree.

I think it could save the world.

Continue reading →

In Which I Try To Use The Google

13 Wednesday Jun 2012

Posted by IfByYes in I'm Sure This Happens To Everyone..., My Blag is on the Interwebs, Well, That's Just Stupid

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

adwords, bad planning, bad programming, business, computers, fail, google, google ads, internet, not user friendly, not working, technology, website

So, my friend and I are trying to drum up clients for our dog training business.

I decided that it was time to get some Google Adwords.

I made this choice for three reasons:

1. Facebook ads had gotten us “likes” but no new clients

2. We are still abysmally low in Google search listings

3. I had one of those $100 free Adwords coupon cards.

So I went to the website that I was given on the card, but found that I couldn’t proceed. 

It asked me for my personal information, which I gave.

Then nothing happened.

There was no continue button. I tried pressing enter. Nothing worked.

WTF.

I thought maybe the site was down, so I waited a couple of hours and tried again.

Nope. Can’t proceed. Other links on the page sent me on to Adwords how-to pages and such, but I couldn’t actually go forward with my coupon redemtion/set up. I wondered if maybe it was a problem with my browser, and then I remembered that I use Google Chrome.

Obviously, since this was Google’s own browser, the form should work fine.

Fail.

But it’s okay – they provided a phone number for me to call, saying they would be happy to set up my ad for me, free of charge.

Fine. I hate interacting with humans, but whatever.

It rang twice and then I got disconnected.

It seems like such a scam – send people to a special offer site, have the special offer part not work, and then wait for people to sign up the regular way.

So I made a tweet about it.

Wow. #Google @Adwords is bogus. Tried to redeem a "$100 trial offer" and neither the website nor the phone number provided actually work!

— Carol @IfByYes (@IfByYesTweets) May 31, 2012

I thought it might prompt Google into responding/fixing the problem, but I got zero response.

PH teased me that I clearly couldn’t use the internet, and assured me that he would figure it out when he had some time.

A couple of days later he sent me a text at work. He had figured out the problem:

The Google Ads offer site only worked on Internet Explorer. 

That’s right – Google’s site wasn’t working on GOOGLE CHROME. I had to switch to Internet Explorer to frigging proceed with the form.

FAIL.

So then I go and jump through all the hoops to get signed up and redeem my dang coupon. I logged in with the same email address that I use for my business’s Google+/Google Places page, for obvious reasons. I also clicked the option they gave me to keep all my Google stuff together, rather than trying to separate adwords from the rest of my stuff. After all, I was using my professional email address.

Then it asked me if I wanted to associate my ad with a Google+ page.

You’d think they wouldn’t even make it an option. Google has been shoving Google+ down everyone’s throats to minimal success. You’d think they would INSIST on any business trying to use Google Ads having a Google+ business page.

But anyway, I checked that yes, I did want to include a link to our page. It asked me for a link to the page.

You’d think that since I was logged in with the owner’s email for that page that it would just go “Oh, hey, this is the business page associated with this business address!” and fill it in automatically.

BUT NO.

So whatever.

I find my Google + business page and insert the link into the entry box.

Invalid link.

What? This is the same link that I shared on my business facebook page and it works fine. It’s the same link ON OUR WEBSITE.

I try again.

Invalid link.

I take out the slashes at the end of the address and just use the basic format of https://plus.google.com/MY-NUMBER

Invalid link.

There is no additional information telling me how to acquire the correct link or what it should look like. No help boxes.

Fine, Google, I WON’T link to the Google+ page. I’ll just link direct to my own website.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?

Bringing up the Google+ page, which I had almost forgotten about since it doesn’t come up in searches easily, even if you search for our business name (you find our website, but not the Google+ page) reminded me that I had meant to strike our address from the visible listing.

My friend had  told me that one of our clients showed up at my door thinking she could walk in and talk to us, and then realized it was a private residence.

So once I was done setting up the damn adwords sans Google+ address, I went back to the Google+ page and edited the listing by checking the box to NOT include my address in the listing.

I refreshed. Address still there.

I tried again.

STILL THERE.

Again!

OH HAI.

Eff this. I’ll figure it out later.

But wait a minute.

Why is it offering me a link telling me that there are no Google Ads set up for this page?

Oh, well, after all, I couldn’t give the direct link. Maybe it’ll work better in CHROME this time (crazy idea, I know). So I click the link to take me to Adwords.

It tells me I have no ads or campaigns set up.

That’s strange, since I have an account sitting open in Explorer with my campaign and everything still there.

I’m signed in to professional google email in both browsers.

As far as I can tell, while it may allow me to log in to adwords using this email, Google doesn’t seem to have actually associated my Adwords account with my existing stuff, DESPITE MY CHECKING THE OPTION TO DO JUST THAT.

Now I know why even Google doesn’t use Google +.

FAIL, GOOGLE. 

*Please share this post to give Google a MINUS ONE*

Baby Hitlers for all! (Another Special Guest Blogger post)

16 Thursday Dec 2010

Posted by IfByYes in My Blag is on the Interwebs

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

internet, search terms, special guest blogger

PH back for another kick at the can.

In the spirit of Christmas and humour, I will post a few more search terms that have lead people to this blag, with a decidedly Christmasy flavour.

“am i selfish or is my boyfriend a scrooge”

Could be one, could be the other. Does he want to buy your Christmas tree used on Boxing Day? Then he’s probably a Scrooge. Are you upset because he refused to have the butler flogged for using the wrong salad tongs? You’re probably being selfish. More details, please.

“accidentally took a sip of tequila while pregnant”

I know how you feel. I accidentally drank a whole bottle of tequila while Carol was pregnant. Babby turned out fine in our case, so you should be okay too.

“my husband thinks he’s perfect”

My ears are burning.

“how was scrooge kind”

There’s a book called A Christmas Carol that can really help elucidate that for you. It’s a short book. Go read it and see if it helps answer your question. I’ll wait.

“husband has been sleeping for 36 hours”

I envy that man with the combined envy-power of all the stars in the universe, if there were a way to convert nuclear fusion directly into envy.

“nova scotia scrooge like christmas”

Why is a Nova Scotia Scrooge different than a normal Scrooge? By definition, Scrooges, no matter their province of origin, should not like Christmas. Unless you meant “Nova Scotia Scrooge-like Christmas”, and if you did…well, someone should write a song with that title post-haste.

“you know it’s gonna be a bad day when”

………when WHAT? Don’t leave us hanging here!

“my baby cries when he is overtired”

They all do. The goal is to get them not to be overtired. If you figure out a way to achieve that goal, please email us immediately. We will pay you handsomely.

“hitler when he was a baby”

Very cute, but the moustache hinted at future evil.

“scrooge childhood how different”

Grok think Scrooge childhood VERY different! Him no happy because childhood bad! Make Scrooge mad! Make Grok mad! Grok smash!

“percentile penis size chart”

…I just…I…

oy.

Sorry, no badroom sextes halp here.

11 Saturday Dec 2010

Posted by IfByYes in My Blag is on the Interwebs

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

internet, search terms

Next to the actual title of my blog, the most common search that leads people here is “my perfect future husband”. It makes me sad that for most people, perfect husbands only seem to exist in the future tense. Then again, I suppose those of us who have found their perfect husbands don’t need to run Internet searches for them.

A couple of people have run searches on “being the perfect husband” which leads me to believe that some men feel they just aren’t meeting standards, poor guys. I wonder if finding my page helped?

I certainly feel like I may have disappointed the people who got here using the following search terms:

“Love””bellybutton””poked”

…Does the searcher love their own belly button poked, or are they looking for someone who wants to receive some poking? Either way, I’m sorry I couldn’t help.

“areole torture”

Erm… are you experiencing it, or looking for it??

“popsicle walrus”

Right… enjoy.

“popsicle dog sod no”

What?

“pregnant for the second time really sad”

This search makes me feel blue, and I have no idea how they got here, considering that I was pregnant for the first time and pretty pleased about it.

“guy dressed up as a donair”

Now there’s an image. But the important thing is – is it a HALIFAX donair?? Here’s a clue – if he has lettuce on his costume, he ain’t a real donair.

“everyone thinks their dog is pretty”

Really? Even people who own Chinese Crested dogs?

“sad sack puppy stuffed animal”

This search time has actually come up several times… Not sure why…

“husband thinks he is perfect”

That must really suck, because anyone who believes that about themselves is definitely NOT.

“he call me babby what is babby”

This is why I don’t get into relationships with people whose language I cannot speak.

why does is call me jiggly

I don’t know, but… I’m sorry. Damn. Worst nickname ever. Bitch-slap “is” from me.

“i gave birth at12.38 today by caesarian my baby hasnt latched on to my breast yet how long will it take before he takes fluids”

Um… you know that Señor Google doesn’t actually answer your searches personally, right?

“will husband hit mucus plug”

…I don’t know, will you be pitching it like a fastball or like a curveball?

“if someone is called “babby” what is their real name?”

I dunno… Rabert, maybe?

inconsiderate husband snoring pregnancy

My husband has also been known to snore inconsiderately. How dare they make noise while unconscious, especially when a pregnant lady is suffering insomnia next to them? Jerks. If they loved us, they’d just never sleep.

women milk and hasband in badroom and sextes

I wander why people tand to overuse a as a vowal sound? I always imagine tham talking like Jahn Cleese doing a Manty Pythan skit.

husband put in bulging diaper

Thank heavens that infantilism is not a fetish of Perfect Husband’s. I don’t think I could deal with that.

eight month fetus penis

Hmm. “Fetus Penis”. Good name for a band?

Glad… I could help?

11 Wednesday Nov 2009

Posted by IfByYes in My Blag is on the Interwebs

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

internet, search terms

I am fascinated by some of the searches that sometimes lead people to this blog. I hope that they found what they were looking for here, but sometimes I’m not sure.

In case anyone uses these search terms again, I’ll try and leave some attempt at an answer, however useless:

husband asked me to leave the room

I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe he was trying to set up a surprise for you?

my future perfect husband

This one is mine. Now go about your search somewhere else, and good luck!

how is babby formed onesie

That’s a brilliant idea! I WANT ONE.

wife fucks coworker to humiliate husband

…that sentence makes me unhappy. Let’s move on…

what is a perfect husband, if there is one

I’d like to tell you, but it’s different for everyone. Maybe you should ask your wife/girlfriend for her take on it, rather than consulting Google on such matters.

sweet letter to husband whom just moved

That’s nice that you’re writing letters to your husband, but if he has moved away, maybe you should be having a serious discussion with him, preferably over the phone. Also, you don’t need to use “whom” just to impress Google.

perfect husband puts me down

I hate to break it to you, but that sentence is oxymoronic. If he puts you down, he’s more like a perfect asshat.

the perfect husband is really a cat

My cat wakes me up at the crack of dawn yowling for me to give him breakfast. He sleeps around the house all day, and never contributes. Maybe that’s your perfect husband, but it ain’t mine.

lady with half body and perfect husband

I would like to meet this couple. Hurrah for true love!

…Unless it’s the top half that she’s missing.

he seemed to be the perfect husband

Oh, please don’t leave me hanging! Then what happened??

king charles spaniel cut his groin open

…

…

HOW?

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