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If By Yes

Tag Archives: gender inequality

A Miscarriage Of Justice

10 Friday May 2013

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love

≈ 33 Comments

Tags

attitudes towards pregnancy loss, baby loss, gender inequality, miscarriage, silent miscarriage, work

What I have been hearing:

“I’m so sorry, honey, let me give you a hug.”

“Carol! What are you doing here at work? Go home! I would be at home curled in a ball with some Valium right now.”

“I can’t believe they couldn’t get you a D&C before Tuesday! Making you wait like that… That just seems… inhuman.”

“I’m so sorry, I know what you’re going through, truly – the same thing happened to me.”

“I miscarried, too. I woke up one night and the baby… well, it was an embryo but you could tell what it was… fell right into my hand…”

“I hemorrhaged for days after my D&C… I was devastated and hormonally crashing. You’re going to need a few days to recover.”

“Just remember that it is a surgery, so don’t push yourself too hard after.”

“Don’t let anyone tell you this isn’t a real loss. Take time to grieve.”

What HE has been hearing:

“If your wife lost her baby yesterday, I don’t understand why you won’t be in on Tuesday. I need more details before I can approve the time off.”

“I’m told you were a little rude with your boss yesterday when she asked you for more details about your absence. It really hurt her feelings and I think you should apologize.”

“You took off yesterday and you’re going to be gone again next week?”

“A D&C is a nothing procedure. What do you need Wednesday off for?”

“Don’t you think you’re milking this a little?”

What I have been getting:

20130510-203814.jpg

20130510-203754.jpg

What HE has been getting:

Dirty looks

Scoldings

Passive aggressive remarks

Newsflash, World:

We BOTH lost our Christmas Baby on Wednesday.

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