Tags
attitudes towards pregnancy loss, baby loss, gender inequality, miscarriage, silent miscarriage, work
What I have been hearing:
“I’m so sorry, honey, let me give you a hug.”
“Carol! What are you doing here at work? Go home! I would be at home curled in a ball with some Valium right now.”
“I can’t believe they couldn’t get you a D&C before Tuesday! Making you wait like that… That just seems… inhuman.”
“I’m so sorry, I know what you’re going through, truly – the same thing happened to me.”
“I miscarried, too. I woke up one night and the baby… well, it was an embryo but you could tell what it was… fell right into my hand…”
“I hemorrhaged for days after my D&C… I was devastated and hormonally crashing. You’re going to need a few days to recover.”
“Just remember that it is a surgery, so don’t push yourself too hard after.”
“Don’t let anyone tell you this isn’t a real loss. Take time to grieve.”
What HE has been hearing:
“If your wife lost her baby yesterday, I don’t understand why you won’t be in on Tuesday. I need more details before I can approve the time off.”
“I’m told you were a little rude with your boss yesterday when she asked you for more details about your absence. It really hurt her feelings and I think you should apologize.”
“You took off yesterday and you’re going to be gone again next week?”
“A D&C is a nothing procedure. What do you need Wednesday off for?”
“Don’t you think you’re milking this a little?”
What I have been getting:
What HE has been getting:
Dirty looks
Scoldings
Passive aggressive remarks
Newsflash, World:
We BOTH lost our Christmas Baby on Wednesday.
