JigglyPuff, the Reprise

Tags

babies, edema, fluid retention, pregnancy, preparation for baby, weight

“WHAT is up with your weight?” the nurse said when she came into the exam room yesterday. It was my 39 week appointment and the OB had had to run out to an emergency c-section, so I was just seeing the nurse instead of the OB.

“I don’t know!” I wailed.

“You were coming along totally normally until a few weeks ago. Then you shot up six pounds, up five more, down six, and now you’re up six again. Have you been doing anything lately?”

“No… I think it’s water weight. Dr. Hazy said I have a lot of edema.”

“Your blood pressure is fine, though…” she pondered. She put me on the table, measured the baby, and poked me a bit.

“Well, your baby is taking up a lot of room, but he’s not unusually large or anything. Your uterus is measuring right within expected limits. Your ankles ARE swollen, but I’ve seen way worse. I guess the swelling does go up your legs, too…”

“It’s all over,” I whined. “I haven’t been able to wear my rings for months. My watch digs in – look – I couldn’t wear a pair of shoes that used to be way too big for me, and even my maternity pants are too tight. But I can’t be gaining and losing six pounds of fat a week apart from each other, can I?”

“No, and it’s not the baby. Oh well, as long as your blood pressure is fine…”

I don’t feel “oh well” about it. I don’t mind the big belly. I really don’t. I was ready for that. Even the ankle swelling I was prepared for. But guys, I am SO FAT all over. I hate pictures of myself. I hate that I hate pictures of myself, because I’ve looked forward to beautiful pregnancy photos my whole life. But my face looks fat. My Wii Fit Plus thinks I’m OBESE. I look at pictures and I don’t see a glowing pregnant lady. I see a FAT lady who also happens to be pregnant. The rolls of fat, or fluid or whatever that is around my face and neck squeeze me at night.

If the last crazy weight fluctuations ARE all water, that’s 13 pounds of water weight I’m carrying around on top of forty odd pounds of fat, placenta, baby and blood volume. I’m afraid that I’ll hate photos of myself forever, that I’ll have this baby and still be told that I’m obese.

Picture progression:

Three months

Four months

five months

six months

eight months

Now

Anyway, it’s really starting to hit Perfect Husband that we’re going to be parents in just a week or two. Maybe it is the actual imminence of the birth itself, or maybe it’s the fact that a recent cooling in temperatures has enabled me to actually be useful so I set up shelving in the nursery and folded and laid out all the baby clothes. We don’t have any furniture for the baby’s room yet, because we can’t afford any, so I set up the change pad and the cloth diapers on the dresser in our bedroom. So now it’s beginning to look like we’re actually expecting a baby.

So Monday, PH kicked into gear. We stopped at Shoppers and bought cotton balls and baby wipes. We packed a hospital bag (although it’s missing certain things, like a nursing bra, because I haven’t been able to afford a new bra that doesn’t leave deep red lines in my skin yet. Payday is Thursday). We even installed the car seat in the car, something I’ve been itching to do since we brought it home from my friends’ garage sale a couple of months ago.

So by the end of yesterday, I was feeling much better. But Perfect Husband was like “HOLY CRAP WE’RE HAVING A BABY.”

I’m feeling that too, but I’ve been feeling that for a really long time, so I’m just grateful for things like a place to change the baby, a place to put the baby, a way to bring the baby home, etc.

Those have really been my biggest stressors. Having a person wiggling inside you really kind of makes the ticking clock obvious.

Not having a bassinet was driving me crazy, so last Monday I insisted that we go to Toys R Us and buy the moses basket and stand that I had registered for on my totally-untouched baby registry. They were out of stands, but at least I had the basket. I mentioned it on Facebook and immediately got bombarded by people saying “I was JUST ABOUT to buy you THAT EXACT THING, why you gotta be like that?”

So I was all like “I’m SORRY, okay? But I’m kind of running out of time. The baby is FULL TERM here, people, and I had nowhere for it to sleep.”

So I promised one of the people that she could buy me the stand, and regretted that I had doubted my friends’ plans to give me things before the baby arrived. I chided myself for spending money that didn’t have to be spent out of panic, when waiting two days would have delivered the thing I needed to my door.

That was a week ago.

No sign of a stand yet, or anything else for that matter. I’m glad I got that moses basket, or I’d be FREAKING OUT right now.

PH asked if we should go buy the stand, but I said no because I’d promised this friend that she could get it for me, since I had robbed her of her chance to give me a moses basket. So we just have to wait, and hope it arrives before Babby does. At least that’s not the end of the world. Worst case scenario we can keep the basket between us on the bed at night for a bit until the stand shows up. The important thing is that we have a changing pad, diapers, car seat, a moses basket, and some handmedown clothes/diaper covers/baby carriers. Nothing else matters.

That’s what I’m telling myself.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Just Call me Jiggly Puff

Tags

babies, edema, obstetrician, pregnancy

Results of the 37 week OB appointment today:

Positive for Group B Strep, which means I have to drop everything and go get penicillin if my water breaks, which means that I’ll probably have all of my natural flora wiped out by the antibiotics, which means I’ll probably have problems with mastitis and thrush and breast feeding will be hell (I know you all appreciate my sunny and positive outlook on life – don’t try to deny it!).

I am officially out of torso. I have always been a stubby little body on out-of-proportion legs, with my hips starting pretty much right below my rib cage. I am now “all baby” according to the OB, which explains why he is moving around less vigorously recently. Don’t worry, he’s fine – he FLIPPED OUT at his father’s opening night on Thursday, when all the actors started shouting, and there were death threats being bellowed everywhere. He tried to claw his way right out of my uterus (to hell with “birth”) and I ended up instinctively wrapping my arms around him protectively until things calmed down. It occurs to me that he had never heard raised voices before. Ever. So anyway, he’s still in there and he’s fine; he’s just getting cramped. The heartburn and inability to breathe lying down confirm this theory.

I am so puffy that the OB noticed it just while measuring my belly. She poked at my stomach and said “I can tell your wife is retaining a lot of water,” to Perfect Husband. I went on to moan to her about the inability to bend my knees, fit into shoes, or look attractive. She nodded, and said “your chart says you have gained 12 pounds in the last two or three weeks. You gained five in the last seven days. That’s just not possible. That isn’t WEIGHT. That’s water. Your blood pressure is good – 122/68, so there’s nothing to worry about. You’ll drop the fluid when the baby is born.”

The inexplicable rash is finally gone. This actually didn’t get discussed, but it’s the first time my OB has lifted up my shirt without looking concerned and saying “does that itch?” so I think it’s official. I can still see where it was, but it is just a mark, now, like the stretch marks around it. It only took several months of anti-fungals to shift the dang thing!

And… that’s about all my news.

tl;dr: I’m a waterballoon crawling with group B streptococcus, but it’s okay, because Babby is fine, and has already shown an introverted disposition.

Also, I think Perfect Husband is starting to get jumpy. I sent him a casual text message a good hour before his play started yesterday, and nearly gave him heart failure.

Swollen is the new Sexy.

Tags

edema, feet, pregnancy, shoes, swelling

Had to go to a wedding today. Thankfully, my dressy black skirt is elastic waisted, so I could wear it despite 36+ weeks of pregnancy. Also thankfully, while I knew that my feet were too swollen for my normal dress shoes, I also had found a pair of too-big mary janes that Perfect Husband had bought for me over the internet once (size eight my ass, they fit like size nines). So I had this pair of shoes which were a size too big for me that I knew I could wear to the wedding.

We got ready to go, I got out the shoes and… they were too small. I crammed my feet into the big shoes and felt the straps and heels dig in. I tottered to the wedding anyway, but when I got home I had blisters on my heels and deep lines cut into the tops of my feet.

Seriously need to talk to the OB about this edema. Should my previously-saggy, casual socks be leaving deep lines in my flesh? I am drinking like a fish, but my legs are swollen and shiny and my watch digs deep into my wrist.

PH is worried. I’m mostly just annoyed.