Meet Zippy

Tags

dieting, exercise, fitbit, food diary, gadgets, my fitness pal, new toys, pedometer, reviews

So a friend of mine who is always giving me embarrassingly awesome gifts gave me a Fit Bit Zip for Christmas!

I call him Zippy.

He counts my steps like a pedometer, calculates how many miles I have walked and how many calories I have burned, then syncs this info with My Fitness Pal and measures it against how much I have eaten that day.

How awesome is that?

Except for one thing – I have found out that Zippy is also a tattle tale.

You see, My Fitness Pal bases its calorie estimates on a certain assumed number of calories burned. So one night I went to bed and My Fitness Pal told me I was 20 calories under my goal! Yay!

I woke up in the morning and my diary for the day before had changed. Since I had gone to sleep instead of continuing to walk around, My Fitness Pal changed its mind. By midnight that night, it had switched me over to being 17 calories OVER my goal.

Thanks, Zippy, you little green rat.

MUST EAT LESS BREAD

Tags

dieting, weight loss

That’s it! I gained, like, 6 pounds while away, effectively undoing all the weight loss I enjoyed under the strain and stress of working with Mean Vet.

I’m going on Atkins, dangit, and for real real, strict-like. If it affects my milk, well, Owl’s nearly two. He can suck it up. Literally.

Or not, just as he likes.

(As an aside, according to our daycare lady, Owl didn’t gain any weight on his time away despite frequent fast food meals and a great grandmother who spoon fed him several containers of yogurt every day, and fried chicken every second day. Life is just not always fair.)

Stupid Weight Loss Means I Can’t Have Carbs.

Tags

atkins, carbohydrate cravings, dieting, portion control, psychiatrist, weight, wellbutrin

I had an appointment with my shrink yesterday.

She said that they often try taking people off of their meds a year after the baby is born, but she didn’t think that I was ready, especially since I’m about to start a new job and you all know how WELL I deal with change! Not to mention that I get blue just thinking of losing my Babby time, and the fact that I develop anxiety when away from Babby for more than two or three hours.

I start next week, full time. It’s going to be FUN.

She was also intrigued by my new diet.

“Have you tried, just… moderation?” my shrink asked. (I hate it when people ask questions like this. Do they really expect me to say “No, I haven’t tried just eating less. What a great idea!“?)

“Yes. I gain weight.”

“You can’t do it?”

“No, I can’t, and on the rare occasion that I succeed, it doesn’t matter,” I said. “I gain weight if there are any simple sugars in my diet. But no, I can’t do moderation. One piece of bread leads to more. Always.”

“I thought that you said the Wellbutrin reduced your carb cravings?”

“It did.”

And I told her how it was before.

How, whenever I tried to cut out carbs, I would find myself near tears in the grocery store, looking longingly at the Olivieri pasta.

How, one time, when I couldn’t find the dregs of a bag of chips, I ransacked the entire house (including linen closets) trying to find it. It turned out that PH had finished the bag and thrown it away.

You know that Sex and the City episode, where Miranda takes cake out of the garbage and eats it? That was me.

The Wellbutrin DOES help.

I have passed day three of my no-carb diet, and I haven’t cried at all. Mind you, I’m not being overly strict. On Monday I ate PH’s Strawberry and Spinach salad, and on Tuesday we dipped our fried tofu in Sweet Chili Sauce, and yesterday I ate more tomato in my Greek Salad than would be ideal for “induction” Atkins.

But no bread, no pasta, no potatoes. That’s HARD. Especially since I am still giving Babby bread and fruit. I actually asked Perfect Husband to cut up Babby’s strawberries this morning, because I didn’t trust myself. As it was, when one piece got pushed out of Babby’s reach, I licked my fingers after handing it to him.

My cravings may be reduced, but they’re still there. In fact, in light of the fact that I don’t dare/want to do it more strictly than I am, I keep wondering if it’s even worth it.

I decided that if I hadn’t lost weight by today, I would give up.

I have lost two and a half pounds.

DAMN. That means I have to keep on this, because it may be starting to work.

Hell.

So, for motivation, here are some picures of me, before and after carbs:

Christmas 2002 – pre Atkins, 150 lbs

Christmas 2003, 4 months post Atkins, 126 lbs (PH says I was TOO thin then)

Spring 2004, on maintenance Atkins, 130 lbs

My first trip to Vancouver, 2006, 145 lbs

Wedding day, June 2008, 148 lbs

Early 2010, three months pregnant, 160 lbs, and gobbling ALL carbs ALL the time

August 2010, 213 lbs

This June, 175 lbs

Dieting Is No Walk In The Park

Tags

atkins, dieting, exercise, weight

In 2003, between my third and fourth year at university, I tried a diet with my mother for two weeks.

It was called Atkins.

For two weeks we ate nothing but protein and leafy vegetables. No bread. No pasta. No potatoes. No reason to live.

The weight melted off.

I stayed on the diet for the rest of the summer. I lost 30 pounds, I had more energy than an ADHD kid on Redbull, and I felt AWESOME about myself.

I kept that weight off for a year, too. During the week I fed myself protein and veggies, and on weekends I splurged on a bag of chips or some popcorn. That held my weight steady.

That was one of the best years of my life so far.

The next year I was graduated and working as a telemarketer. I missed university. I missed Perfect Husband, who was still just Best Friend Who Worshipped Me From Afar But Now Lived In Frigging Vancouver. I hated my job.

I started eating perogies for lunch.

Then my boyfriend’s mother brought us an economy sized box of Kraft Dinner.

Then, when I suggested cooking something other than Kraft Dinner, my boyfriend would say “ugh, I don’t feel like eating *insert suggestion here*. Let’s get McDonalds.”

I gained 10 pounds.

Since that wondrous summer, when I broke free of my carb addiction, my weight has slowly creeped ever upwards.

I was 213 before Babby was born. Since then, my weight has plateaued at 175, which is still a good 15 pounds heavier than my pre-baby weight, and THAT was a good 15 pounds heavier than I was on my wedding day, and THAT was 15 pounds heavier than I was after the Summer of Awesome.

I don’t recognize myself in photos.

One problem is that no other diet seems to work for me. Diabetes runs in my family and my body just seems to chemically bond to sugar and then somehow turn it into twice its weight worth in fat. I could eat nothing but salads and whole grain bread, but so long as that bread is there, my weight wouldn’t budge.

The other problem is that I can never get past those first few days, when you’re detoxing from the carbs and you feel like you would sell your soul for a piece of toast.

…that is a universal feeling, right?

Well, I’m trying again. I don’t dare do it too strictly – I don’t want to mess with my milk – but I have to do SOMETHING. I hate my weight. I hate how I look. My clothes don’t fit. It’s just UGH.

But it’s only day 2 of the diet and already I’m starting to think: “Do I really want to ruin my last week off with Babby by cutting out carbs?”

And then I think “Do I really feel like I can’t enjoy my SON without CARBS?”

So I’m fighting it. But it’s hard going. Without carbs to soothe me, everything feels too difficult.

Take our morning walk: I can’t force myself to go all the way down and up the hill on our normal daily walk without my walkolate bar to reward me, so I’m taking dog and baby across the road to the playground.

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I’m glad they’re happy, at least.

Anyone have a piece of toast I can nibble? I have a baby I could sell you.