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Tag Archives: criticism

Fifty Shades of Oh, Holy F***, Why Can’t You Write?

04 Wednesday Sep 2013

Posted by IfByYes in Shhh, I'm Reading, TwiBashing

≈ 39 Comments

Tags

criticism, e l james, fifty shades of grey, grammar, review, sexist, writing

I’ve been meaning to talk about the Fifty Shades of Grey series for a while now, since I’ve finally fought my way through the third book.

Oh dear lord, why is this famous?

I will reluctantly give it this – and those who haven’t read both series may be surprised to hear this – it’s BETTER WRITTEN THAN TWILIGHT.

Significantly, actually.

That doesn’t mean it is GOOD.

“Better than Twilight” is like saying “better than having your eyes removed with a melon-baller”. You could still be referring to a root canal or stepping on a piece of lego in your bare feet.

To briefly compare, let’s go over all the things wrong with Twilight, shall we?

Oh, right.

Okay, well, let’s briefly sum up the WORST things about Twilight:

1. Protagonist is dim witted and a terrible person.

2. Protagonist is a weak female who promotes all those unhealthy stereotypes of the fainting, delicate, door-mat princess who tries to look feisty by occasionally having an opinion about her own fate.

3. Love interest is a domineering, condescending, power hungry bad boy who repeatedly puts his own desires first.

4. Poor plot structure – story consists of purple prose romantic fantasy briefly interrupted by a random action climax completely unrelated to the previous 200 pages of story line.

5. Cardboard cut-out characters who often act against their directly-described characterization (e.g. a character is described as terse but then goes on long rambling diatribes).

Now, let’s compare that to its spawn, Fifty Shades of Grey (for those who might be unaware, Fifty Shades originated as Twilight fan fiction which took Edward’s creepy bossiness to a whole new level):

1. Protagonist seems aware of her surroundings and doesn’t repeatedly lie to her father, flirt with someone she is uninterested in for the express purpose of extracting information, or blow off people who try to be nice to her.

2. Protagonist is still a weak female who promotes all those unhealthy stereotypes of the fainting, delicate, door-mat princess who tries to look feisty by occasionally having an opinion about her own fate. Also, slight hints at an eating disorder.

3. Love interest is a domineering, condescending, power hungry bad boy who repeatedly puts his own desires first… but at least the protagonist recognizes that this is a problem.

4. Poor plot structure – The first book ends at the climax, and you don’t get the denouement until you pick up the second book. Then a random action sequence is inserted to create further tension in later books but seems constantly tacked-on to the main storyline

5. Protagonist and her love interest are actually surprisingly three dimensional. The rest of the characters are simply extras with no depth, however.

So, as you can see, it is MARGINALLY better.

If you put a gun to my head and said I had to re-read one of these two series, I’d pick Fifty Shades, hands down.

If you want, I can do a Twilight vs Fifty Shades series at some point, although it would sort of be like pitting Cow Pats vs Dirty Diapers.

Fifty Shades has elements that, in the right hands, could actually have made it good. It brought the world of BDSM into the light (albeit in ENTIRELY THE WRONG WAY), which is refreshing if also worrying. Although it’s also annoying because suddenly bondage is a fad and I’m like “lol wut?”

Either you’re into it, or you’re not, right? Why is it suddenly hot when previously it wasn’t? If women have been longing to be tied up all these years, why didn’t they just go to their husbands and say “hey, tie me up, would you?” And besides, the BDSM style it brought into the light was female-submissive, male-dominant, which single handedly took feminism back 100 years.

Anyway, the character of Christian Grey is actually interesting, if not likeable.

But then there’s the unalterable fact that it’s badly written. It provides a hideously unhealthy relationship example – remember kids, if he’s controlling, domineering, and seriously screwed up, you should put up with it as long as he’s good looking and says that he loves you – and it has creepy subliminal-messaging-style references to anorexia.

Check it out (spoiler warning – if one can “spoil” something that is badly written erotica to begin with):

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Rowling vs Meyer, Round 4 – How Can I Describe Meyer’s Writing?

18 Wednesday Apr 2012

Posted by IfByYes in TwiBashing

≈ 23 Comments

Tags

adjectives, adverbs, books, characterization, characters, criticism, description, Harry Potter, jk rowling, literary criticism, literature, reviews, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, writing

Remember how I talked about cramming the universe into a teaspoon when it came to comparing J K Rowling with Stephenie Meyer? Well, when I actually started on discussing the writing, I discovered that I had to split it into two. This is the second half of round 3. The reason it took so long was that it was STILL getting out of hand. Therefore, there will also be a Round 5. It’ll probably stop there. Probably.

In this round, we will look more closely at the way these two ladies write – specifically, their use of description and their ability to create unique characters… or the lack thereof.

(A note about spoilers: I will keep Harry Potter spoilers to a minimum, only letting go the kind of information that you could pick up from your standard movie trailer and have probably picked up on already, unless you live in a world without other people. Twilight spoilers, on the other hand, abound, because I can’t “spoil” Twilight any more than I can “spoil” a compost heap.)

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Image

Round 3: Rowling vs Meyer – Time to Actually Discuss THE WRITING

04 Tuesday Oct 2011

Tags

book titles, books, Breaking Dawn, criticism, Eclipse, Harry Potter, j.k. rowling, literature, narration, New Moon, plot, reviews, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, Twilight Saga, writing

I have talked about the messages behind Twilight and Harry Potter, and now, I think, it is time to actually discuss these two ladies as writers.

I know, crazy talk.

There are many different aspects of writing, so I’m going to try and go through them individually, since each writer has strengths and weaknesses. There are a lot of aspects to consider, so there will be a fourth round as well.

I’m going to give Stephenie Meyer a head start…

(A note about spoilers: I will keep Harry Potter spoilers to a minimum, only letting go the kind of information that you could pick up from your standard movie trailer and have probably picked up on already, unless you live in a world without other people. Twilight spoilers, on the other hand, abound, because I can’t “spoil” Twilight any more than I can “spoil” a compost heap.)

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Posted by IfByYes | Filed under TwiBashing

≈ 40 Comments

Jane Emo, 2011. FASSBENDER!

22 Friday Apr 2011

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love, Shhh, I'm Reading

≈ 30 Comments

Tags

adaptations, books, criticism, Fassbender, Jane Eyre, literature, movies, reviews

Jane Emo. Now with violins!

Perfect Husband and I had a movie date this evening. He took me to see the newest Jane Eyre.

I’m always on the lookout for a GOOD version of my favourite book. So far, my favourite is the 1983 version with Timothy Dalton. Jane is spritely enough but doesn’t have quite enough edge for my taste. Still, it’s decent.

I have been very excited about this version, however, ever since I heard that Ellen Page would be playing Jane. I knew that she would get the sharp wit of Jane exactly right, even if she is too pretty. She’d even have the perfect wry smile that I see on Jane’s face whenever she calls Mr. Rochester “sir”.

Then Ellen Page dropped out and they cast that chick from The Kids Are All Right instead. But I was still willing to give it a chance.

…I regret it.

It was dreadful. Possibly one of the worst adaptations I’ve seen yet.

You won’t believe me, but I swear, I’m not an impossible-to-please cynic who complains about every cut scene, and every alteration to the plot in a book adaptation. Some of my favourite book adaptations (About A Boy, The Neverending Story, The Last Unicorn, Bridget Jone’s Diary, Jurassic Park), have totally altered key parts of the books, but recreate the characters, the feel, and the meaning of the story so well that I love them to bits.

This was not one of those movies.

This movie stuck to the plot faithfully but managed to totally wreck the characters and the whole point of the story. They took a story about a feisty little feminist who doesn’t let poverty and abuse get her down, and made a movie about an expressionless dishrag who falls in love with someone awful for no good reason. You know, like Twilight, except Bella Swan has more personality.

It also involved a lot of emo chiaroscuro and a softly wailing solo violin.

For those of you who aren’t intimately familiar with Jane Eyre and her awesomeness, here’s a summary in 30 seconds:

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In Which Carol Reads Eclipse And Throws A Book Against A Wall

15 Friday Apr 2011

Posted by IfByYes in Shhh, I'm Reading, TwiBashing

≈ 27 Comments

Tags

criticism, drek, Eclipse, literature, reviews, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, writing

*headdesk*

I finished Eclipse the other day. It’s been difficult trying to narrow down what stuff to bitch about, because there’s so much wrong with everything.

Good stuff: They finally wrap up some plot lines that have been running since the start of the series. Also, the character of Jacob is almost three dimensional, since he has both good and bad qualities and usually says interesting things. When he’s around, the story is almost interesting.

Edward, on the other hand, totally loses any remaining Byronic qualities and becomes an insipid piece of female fantasy with absolutely no personality.

Bella remains an idiotic, martyring, moaning, boy-obsessed twatwaffle who is basically a bad person. Stephenie Meyer remains an astonishingly bad writer (never mind whether or not you like the story or the characters, the writing is bad. Just awful. Swifties and weird grammar and misapplications of the word “literally” everywhere).

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