anxiety, busy, depression, generalized anxiety disorder, motherhood, stress, time management, welbutrin, work
I have been off of my Welbutrin for about three months now. I started to wean myself off in June, skipping the occasional day, until I actually forgot to take it at all for a week.
Then, when we went the the states, I left the pills behind, and I haven’t touched them since.
I’ve been doing fine.
I had a happy summer, loving my husband, liking my job, training dogs, writing on Elance.
I’ve been very tired. I feel very extroverted out.
I wish that I didn’t have to juggle work AND dog training AND Elance, but I’m not willing to give up any of these. I need them.
I need the work, the dog training is my insurance for the future when we have a second kid and full time work will no longer cover daycare costs, and Elance is extra money in my pocket while building my writing credits, which is REALLY part of my long term plan.
I spend my mornings trying to shepherd Owl into his clothes and into the car, I work for 9 hours with no break, and then I pick Owl up and entertain him while PH makes dinner. By the time we get Owl to sleep it’s 9 pm and I’m exhausted.
PH wants me to take more time to myself, to hand him the baby and say “YOU deal with it, I’m out of touch for an hour” but I rarely take him up on it. First of all, because I hand him Owl and then disappear training dogs a couple times a week as it is, and second of all because I want to spend time with my husband and son.
But PH thinks all this work is adding to my anxiety.
I haven’t really noticed it (maybe fish don’t notice water, much) but PH thinks it has been worse lately. I don’t know if fall coming on is beginning to activate my SAD, but that seems hard to believe, because it’s been warm and sunny an gorgeous outside lately.
So maybe it’s just all too much.
But I’m not quite sure what to do about it. We need money, and I need to make money while building a way to make money with fewer hours in the future. So I think this is just how it is right now, and I’m not unhappy or miserable.
Just a little stressed.
That’s within normal range, right?