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~ the musings of a left wing left hander with two left feet

If By Yes

Tag Archives: bad days

That’s Enough Crises For Now, Thanks World.

21 Sunday Oct 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love, Perfect Husband

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

bad days, bad weeks, cars, health, parenting

They say bad things come in threes.

Two weeks ago, I checked my phone after a busy day at work only to discover a string of texts and missed calls from Perfect Husband, first telling me about stabbing stomach pains, then mentioning a trip to the walk in clinic, followed by a trip to the emergency room, followed by updates saying that he was being given Oxycontin and that they wanted to do a CAT scan.

Later, when I asked him why he hadn’t called my work instead of my cell, he said “well, I figured that if you weren’t checking your texts it must be really busy…”

HMM. What is more important? A string of dogs with torn dewclaws, or your HUSBAND BEING IN THE HOSPITAL?

So anyway, I rushed to Owl’s daycare, picked him up and drove to North Vancouver. There a friend of PH’s met me and took Owl to her house so I could sit with PH.

We had about an hour to wait after his CAT scan for the results. A busy doctor bustled up to him and said “PH? You have *gobbledegook word*. Which is nothing. But it hurts a lot!”

Continue reading →

A Little Child Should Seriously Lead Us

27 Friday Apr 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

bad days, forgiveness, love, motherhood, parenthood, patience, toddlers

I got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. No real reason for it. I mean, yes, I had started the morning at 5 am when a little hand smacked me excitedly and a tiny voice announced insistantly (and proudly) “PEE! PEE! PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! PEE!” until I eventually mumbled,

“Didjoupee?”

“Yes!”

“Goo’feryou. Thanksfor tellin’ me.”

I rolled over. The same small hand grabbed my nipple, and the teeny voice said “mush? MUSH? PEASE?” and a needle-teethed lamprey re-attached itself to my breast at a bizarre angle.

It was my usual start to the day.

If anything, it was a slightly better start than some other mornings, because after forty five minutes of:

  • sitting on my head
  • running around the room
  • trying to open the door to the dog’s crate
  • demanding help to get back up on the bed with me
  • and insisting on “mush” whenever I tried to roll over

…Owl actually went back to sleep and I got an extra half hour shut eye.

But I still woke up with a big black cloud over my head. I blame the rain, because there was a lot of it, and I really didn’t want to walk in it.

Every morning I offer Owl the chance to choose his footwear and coat for the day.

It usually goes like this:

“Go get your shoes.”

“No!”

“Do you want to go for our walk?”

“…Yes.”

“Then you need to put on either your boots or your shoes.”

This simple logic always convinces him and he grabs one pair or the other. We have the same conversation over his coat.

“Which coat do you want to wear?”

He invariable chooses his raincoat, but then resists when I try to put it on him.

“Okay, we’ll stay in,” I always say, and start to hang up his coat. This makes him change his mind instantly and he cooperatively holds out his arms for the coat. Then we leash the dog and go outside for our walk.

 

Today, though, it was pissing rain, I was running a little late due to the sleep-in, and I was not loving the idea of trying to convince the dog to poop in the rain while Owl soaked his pants in the puddles.

Everything went wonky today.

I told Owl to get his boots. He didn’t budge. I set out his boots and he said “no.”

“Well, pick either your shoes or your boots,” I said, laying out the options for him. He stared at them and dithered and dithered while the time and my patience began to run out. So I made an executive decision.

“Okay, you’re wearing your boots.”

“NO!”

“Yes.”

“NOOOOOOOOO!”

I pulled his boots on him against his will while he flailed and wailed. When I finished he sat on the floor crying and pulling desperately at his boots. Within seconds he had them off again. Rather than re-enter that battle, I moved on to coats.

“Which coat to you want to wear?”

“SOOS!”

“Owl, which coat?”

“SOOS!!”

Most mornings I would have dealt with the shoe issue and then revisited the coats afterwards. But for some reason, today, my patience was still upstairs in bed, cuddled under the duvet.

“Okay, fine, no walk today.”

I put the dog out in the yard while a horrified and protesting wail went up behind me. Owl spent a couple of minutes throwing his “soos” at me, but quickly allowed himself to be distracted by his toys while I took a moment of deep breathing.

Skipping the walk put us back on schedule for time, if Owl didn’t dawdle too much on our walk to the car. I contemplated just carrying him to the car, but that didn’t seem fair – he should get at least part of his walk. I brought the dog in, put on Owl’s “soos” (pick your battles) and he cooperatively chose his raincoat and put it on without a fuss.

When he saw that we were leaving the dog behind, though, he realized that he had missed the morning walk, and that we were now headed right to school. He immediately began to whine.

“Nooooo! Da! Wa? Mama!!”

“Well, we couldn’t go on our walk because you wouldn’t leave your boots on and you wouldn’t pick your coat,” I snapped. “That’s what happens.”

I waited irritably and self-righteously for the tantrum. To my surprise, he just held up his arms and said “up!”

So I picked him up, and when his face was level with mine he studied me carefully. Then, gently, with a little smile, he leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the lips. Then he let me carry him out of the house, to the car, and into his car seat without a single complaint.

My son is 24 pounds and 30 inches tall, and he is a bigger person than I am. 

Go take a nap, Mama.

Vancouver Sunshine

21 Monday Feb 2011

Posted by IfByYes in East, West, Home is Best, How is Babby Formed?, I'm Sure This Happens To Everyone..., Me vs The Sad

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

bad days, flowers, gloom, luck, spring, sun, Vancouver

It’s one of THOSE days.

You know.

I dreamed about a friend who was very close once but grew distant when I got pregnant. She has ignored birthday greetings from me and has not acknowledged the existence of my child. Thinking about her makes me sad, and these dreams pop up occasionally and make me sadder.

I tried to get a referral over the phone from my doctor, but was told that I had to come in and tell my doctor to her face that she is a moron. That did not encourage me.

PH went to the store to pick up the crib we ordered, only to discover that it is in a very large square box much bigger than the dimensions for the crib, and that it will not fit in our car. It is wider than our car. This presents a problem since I don’t want my baby to sleep in a warehouse. I will have to pester friends with trucks.

I was going to take Babby for his first swim today, but I”m afraid it will bum me out more if he hates it. But if I don’t  go at all I’ll feel even more like I didn’t get anything accomplished. Maybe I WILL take him in a fit of optimism.

I think this must be a combination of PMS and first-grey-day-in-many-days funk. I realize you people in the East won’t sympathize, but spring comes to Vancouver in February and lately Babby and I have been going to long walks each day to soak up the sunshine and flowers. But today is grey with a few flakes of snow. Short walkies today.

So, in view of banishing the Bad Day Gloom, I will dwell on the sunshine and the flowers of the past week.

BEHOLD!*

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

*Some of these pictures are fuzzy because I bought a can of pop at the Esso on one of my walks, and I set it down to unhook the dog’s leash, and the can rolled away, and I chased it into the road and I did catch it but it was punctured places and spraying pop everywhere at high pressure BUT I DRANK IT ANYWAY and it made my hands and everything I touched sticky.

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