January | 2014 | If By Yes

Tags

2013, 2014, depression, miscarriage, new year

Good riddance, you sucked.

Were there good moments in 2013?

Sure.

Peak of the year – February 2013

Our trip to Disneyland was unbelievably awesome.

That was in February. It’s all been downhill since then.

I remember feeling so very lucky when I was pregnant. I remember how PH trawled three supermarkets to find the fixings to a chicken club wrap when I was craving them. I felt so lucky that I had such a great husband, that I was pregnant with my second child, that I had been voted Employee of the Year, that I had gotten a trip to Disneyland.

I didn’t take it for granted.

I felt blessed.

Then it all fell apart.

I lost the pregnancy, and then I lost my husband to depression – hopefully temporarily.

I lost my patience with Owl.

I lost my interest in my job.

I lost the energy to train dogs.

I lost the will to care.

I lost hope in conceiving again.

I’m just lost.

Although I did gain ONE thing – weight!

So I kept my resolution.