, , , , , , ,

I recently “liked” a Facebook page called Voluptous Vixens, which posts pictures of big, beautiful women looking fabulous. I love it, it gives me hope.

…You CAN be fat AND sexy!

But I didn’t know where these women find their clothes, because as far as I can tell, everything over size Medium looks like it was rejected by the fashion police as “too hideous for normal people to wear”.

We went to Value Village recently to try and find me some new shirts. I kept finding really cute ones, and then realizing that I was in the Small or Medium section. Cute top with a picture of two sushis saying “Soy happy together”? Small. Flatteringly cut empire waist top? Small. Cute black tank? Medium.

And then you move into the Large and Extra Large section, and all you can find are shirts like this:


Finally! The hairy-chest look for women!


For people with fond memories of ‘The Electric Company”


For those who no longer care


For those who confuse “precious” with “stylish”


Just… no.


For those who think bright red is slimming, and golden stars are great all year round


Another hairy shirt! THERE WAS MORE THAN ONE


Because nothing says “feel thin” like horizontal stripes and a baggy shape


Why yes, that IS green velvet. GREEN VELVET.


So then I gave up and went to real stores, where everything, even larges, make me look like I’m still pregnant.

I ended up going to Penningtons.

When I walked in, I thought I had entered heaven. Stylish clothes! People heavier than me! A dress I couldn’t wait to get my hands on because it looked so great for summer, so slimming, and such a perfect in-between of dressy and casual.

I spent two hours in there.

…and emerged empty handed.

It turns out that while my waist is a size 17, my upper body, and legs below the waist, are drowned in even Pennington’s smallest sizes.

Which is when I realized that ALL my weight is carried in my belly. In fact, looking at my profile, I can see that I DO, actually, still look pregnant.

It’s like my belly, which had started to gently expand shortly before my fated ultrasound, never went back.

I’ve always kept my weight on my belly, and now it’s worse than ever.

And I don’t know what to do. I’ve been eating low calorie, thanks to the girl diet, but my belly hasn’t budged.

So, basically, I’m too thin to be a Voluptuous Vixen, and too fat to fit normal clothes.

…Should I just buy maternity shirts and accept people’s congratulations?