Talking to a toddler can be a strange adventure.
I’ve had some truly bizarre and awkward ones with Owl, who is now two and three quarters. I need to start documenting them, because if they seem weird to me, his doting mother, I can only imagine how bizarre they will sound to you.
Owl: Mommy…. what I doing?
Me: You’re putting your fingers on your nipples, honey.
Owl: Yeah. I am. I am putting my fingers on my nipples.
Me: Okay, step into your undies, please.
Owl: No. I busy. I busy putting my fingers on my nipples.
A few days later
Owl: Mommy… what I doing?
Me: You’re… you’re putting your finger in your foreskin, honey.
Me: Yes, yes you are. Yup. That is your finger up your foreskin.
Owl: No I not. This my penis. Look. What I doing?
Me: Yes, that is your penis, and this PART of your penis is your foreskin, and you are putting your finger in it. Please step into your undies.
Owl: This my foreskin? I put my finger in it?
Me: PLEASE STEP INTO YOUR UNDIES BEFORE I COUNT TO THREE.