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~ the musings of a left wing left hander with two left feet

If By Yes

Monthly Archives: January 2013

The Girl Diet

10 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by IfByYes in Belly Battles, How is Babby Formed?, Life and Love

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

baby, boys, diet, gender, gender selection, gender swaying, girls, low calorie, pregnancy, sex ratio

PH and I need to have a girl next time because we can’t work out a boy name. We’ve vetoed each other’s favourites (with the exception of Owl’s name, a favourite of mine that PH didn’t mind) and cautiously accepted as “maybes” some other suggestions.

Girl names are easier.

We worked out several possible girl names as well as Owl’s name before we even got engaged. We know the name of our future girl.

So this time, we’re going to try to have a girl.

When I found out that Owl was a boy, I had a lot of mixed emotions. On the one hand, I have always wanted a boy. Whenever I dreamed of babies, they were boys. I LOVE little boys. I’m not so hot on little girls. They’re manipulative and often shallow and obsessed with their Barbies’ hair.

So I was glad I was getting my boy.

But PH wanted a girl. PH isn’t big on men in general. He likes and admires all things female.

So I was concerned that he was disappointed.

He has never expressed any disappointment – he loved Owl from the moment he laid eyes on him – but he has teased me about the fact that I got my boy.

“Hey, it’s your sperm that determines the gender,” I would say defensively.

“I gave you millions of girl sperms! You picked THIS one!”

It was all a big joke, but I got hired on Elance to write a series of articles about selecting your baby’s gender earlier this year and I learned a few things:

1. While the gender is in fact determined by the man’s sperm, the woman’s body has final say on which gender it produces.

2. Boys are slightly more common than girls, 51% of babies being boys.

3. The world is full of myths about timing your intercourse to have a certain gender, assuming certain positions etc and all of this is completely unsubstantiated by modern science.

4. Women (and other female mammals) who are stressed, eating low fat or low calorie diets, or living in crowded situations, tend to de-select males, and start producing more females. The effect can be as much as 60-80% females born over males. Women who eat high calorie diets experience the opposite – 60% more males than females.

The idea is that if resources are low, females are a better bet. We only need ONE male to repopulate the world, but we need a lot more women. Also, since male babies require more calories to make, a female is easier to put together if there isn’t a lot of food to go around.

It’s called the Trivers-Willard hypothesis, and there seems to be a lot of research to back it up. 

Male blastocysts also appear to be less hardy – they don’t absorb sugar as well from the uterine environment and are less likely to survive to implant in the uterine wall if the mother’s blood sugars aren’t stable.

The difference is such that just skipping breakfast can affect your chances of having a boy.

So…. guess what I’m doing?

I’m back on My Fitness Pal, logging my calories, and I’m skipping breakfast.

I’m not cutting back on calories dramatically. After all, if a woman is starving she’s not likely to conceive at all, and honestly a second boy would not be the end of the world. PH would love him and still consider our family complete.

But I would like a girl, too. First, I’ve done the boy thing and now I’d like to try the girl thing. Second, while I’m not big on little girls, I would like to have a grown daughter some day.

Plus I just like experimenting with science, especially science that motivates me to lose weight.

So I’m on a restricted, but not unreasonable, low calorie diet and skipping breakfast.

Que sera, sera.

At least I can tell PH that I tried!

…And yes, I will stop the low calorie diet the moment that second line forms on the pregnancy test.

I EAT IT (Or, My Toddler’s Romance With Food)

09 Wednesday Jan 2013

Posted by IfByYes in From The Owlery, Life and Love

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

babies, eating habits, food, play, sharing, toddlers, toys

When I was pregnant, I worried a lot about how my eating habits might affect the baby. 

I have some… food issues.

I didn’t want Owl to be another carb addict like me. 

On the bright side, he isn’t showing signs of having my obsession with potatoes and rice and pasta, but that’s only because it is eclipsed by his general obsession with all things that are edible.

He’s an equal opportunist feeder, who gobbles everything that slows down in front of him. He has been like this since he was born, considering that he was permanently attached to my booba for the first year and a half of his life, and that there are basically no foods that he will refuse to eat.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

He eats like a hobbit.

Continue reading →

Friends Are Awesome

06 Sunday Jan 2013

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love

≈ 2 Comments

Look what my friend Tara from Life Equals Priceless and Six Dollars and Seventy Six Cents made for me:

Miss Pepper By Tara

Miss Pepper

04 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

cats, death, grief, illness, kittens, loss, pets

When I was just 15, my parents surprised me with a kitten. I guess they were suffering from a combination of empty nest syndrome (I was away on a class trip to Quebec) and anticipatory loss, because our dog was dying of cancer.

I had wanted a cat for years, but my parents weren’t cat people. When I was 10, my friend’s cat had kittens and I fell in love with one of them but my parents resisted all my pleading, and he went to someone else (I recently saw a cat at my work who was a dead ringer for that kitten – I think part of me will always be looking for him). They had let me have mice, gerbils, birds, fish, and a dog, but they drew their line at cats.

So when I came home from Quebec and found this tiny ball of fluff waiting for me, it was a dream come true.

Pepper kitten

“She’s yours for the next 20 years,” my parents warned me. “When you go to university, THIS goes with you.”

“Of course!” I said reverently, fingering the wispy tail.

But it didn’t work out that way.

Continue reading →

Bye-Bye, Mr Cool (or, Dr Useless To The Rescue)

03 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by IfByYes in How is Babby Formed?, I'm Sure This Happens To Everyone..., Life and Love

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

child spacing, doctors, health care, IUD, msp, runaround

Some of you may remember my odyssey to get a diaphragm a year or two ago. As you know, I failed utterly and was talked into an IUD instead.

NO

NO

YES

YES

Well, today I finally took a deep breath and called Dr Gooch’s office to ask them to remove the thing.

Continue reading →

Resolutions I Can Get Behind

02 Wednesday Jan 2013

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

2013, new year, New Year Resolutions, realistic expectations

So, every year I look back at my New Year’s resolutions to see if I have achieved them, and of course I never have. They’re always things like “lose weight”, “write in diary more”, and other vague goals that don’t affect my day to day activities.

Yes, I want to lose weight.

Yes, I need to write in my diary more.

But I never think, in the middle of July, “Oh, I need to write in my diary tonight, because that was my New Year’s Resolution.”

And a lot of my resolutions aren’t about the things that really matter. I would like to write in my diary more, but is it a PRIORITY? Probably not.

So:

Post resolutions somewhere visible.

Done.

Gain weight.

I figure, either this is one resolution I will be happy to fail at, or I will at least get the satisfaction of claiming I gained weight ON PURPOSE. Besides, if I have another kid, I will almost certainly gain weight. So it is all the more worth achieving!

Get older.

I know this is like Joey Tribiani ordering his pet duck to “stay white”, but after all, if the inevitable must come to pass, we can at least pretend it is under our control.

Take advantage of being a grown up.

We forget sometimes. We’re so bogged down with the pressures of mortgages and  work and brushing our toddlers’ teeth that it’s easy to forget how many choices we have.

PH and I used to go out for midnight pancakes every now and then just because we could. Unfortunately, we can’t do that any more but there is probably a whole world of things we could do and just don’t think to. I want to discover some of those.

…Preferably the ones that don’t cost money, because, you know, pressures of a mortgage etc. 

Go on more date nights.

PH and I get a reasonable amount of date nights but we need more. My work schedule is going to be getting even heavier, and that always takes a toll on us because I’m stressed and PH is pouty about not getting to see me ever.

Our relationship is important.

So MOAR DATE NIGHTS. 

Concentrate monetary spending.

It’s too easy and vague to say “spend less money”, not to mention impossible considering that cars break down, family reunions must be attended etc. However, we tend to fritter a lot of our money away while still refusing to buy ourselves things we would actually use. 

I resolve to spend MORE money on the things we need, like items for organizing the house, groceries, and stuff for my business, and date nights (see above) and less on things like DVDs we will never have time to watch, video games we won’t have time to play, and lunches that I could have brought from home. 

Take care of my Beloved Dog

Poor Beloved Dog. He hasn’t been groomed in four years, he only gets a good run once a week or less, he is constantly being ordered out of the way by an imperious toddler who has stolen all of my attention from him, and he still sometimes screams and come running  to us, shaking, for no apparent reason despite two ultrasounds and a set of xrays.

He needs attention. He needs care. He’s my Beloved Dog. He needs to become more of a priority. He is at the groomer RIGHT NOW. I’m taking him to work to get his teeth cleaned NEXT WEEK. 

Put down the book and step up to the sink

I waste too much of my time reading. Yes, it’s sanity time, yes, I need it, but you know what else I need? A house that doesn’t drive both PH and I crazy. The least, the least I can do is wash the damn dishes after PH has cooked dinner every night. 

I think that’s good enough.

Another Good New Year’s Meme: First Lines

01 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by IfByYes in Memes

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Blogging, memes, new years, retrospective

I was browsing through my old Livejournal today and realized how many memes I used to do there. I don’t know if those kind of memes are falling out of vogue now that we have simple share buttons on Facebook, but a lot of them looked like fun. Here’s one that seemed appropriate to this time of year:

Share the first sentence from the first post of each month for the last year (or, as a variation, if your blog is photo-heavy, post your first PICTURE of each month).

Or maybe I’ll do both! Because I’m a KEENER.  

January:

I am nearly thirty years old.

February:

I haven’t updated on the Owl Sleep Situation in quite a long while, and there’s a reason for that.

March:

Hi all,

PH here.

April:

PH and I drove to Seattle for Emerald City Comicon.

May:

As you may remember, Elizabeth Pantley of the No-Cry Sleep Solution sent me some more of her books for me to check out.

June:

So, here we are.

July:

I am an introvert.

August:

Check out my latest post on World Moms Blog, and our shiny new website.

September:

Me: “Owl, I have to use the potty. Do you want to come upstairs with me, or stay here and play with your cars?”

^funny aside: this photo wasn’t even from the same post. It was just the first photo I posted… in my NEXT, totally unrelated post.

October:

PH is seriously pissed off about the whole NHL lockout thing.

November:

I’m attempting NaNoWriMo this year.

December:

Back in March, I proposed a battle of wits between my baby and my dog.

…Okay, now do yours!

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