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Owl will be 2 years old in ONE MONTH FROM TODAY.

Holy crappola.

I do NOT feel like two years have gone by. I mean, look how much he has grown and changed.

23 months ago he…

  • Was extremely “vocal”
  • Hated sleep with a fiery passion
  • Got constant comments on his big eyes
  • Was intensely demanding
  • Nursed constantly
  • Had all of his bowel and bladder movements in diapers

Now he…

  • Is extremely vocal
  • Hates sleep with a fiery passion
  • Gets constant comments on his big eyes
  • Is intensely demanding
  • Nurses constantly
  • has all of his bowel and bladder movements in diapers.

…Okay, so when I put it like that it doesn’t sound as impressive.

But let’s look at the nitty gritty a bit:

  • Instead of just screaming atonally to communicate everything from “I desire to suck on your mammary glands” to “I am experiencing existential angst”, he can use his words to tell us all of his deepest thoughts, which generally sounds like this: “a man a hat, a man a hat, a plane, bye, plane, a plane, fly home, fly home and food, a ball, a man a hat. FOOT BALL. Milk, pease, mama.”
  • Instead of just screaming atonally when tired in protest of losing consciousness, he can now construct excuses for why he can’t sleep, which he intersperses with telling us how tired he is: “Seep. Bed. No! NO SEEP! MILK! MILK, PEASE, MAMA. Sleep in dere! *pointing toward our room* SLEEP IN DERE! MILK! WATER! WATER PEASE! Seep. Bed. NO! NO SEEP!”
  • While his eyes are still big, his face has grown enough that he no longer makes people uneasy that instead of a human baby, he might actually be an alien or, as one no-longer-friend called him, an “ugly little gnome”. Instead, everyone thinks he’s a girl because of his big eyes.

Yeah, it’s the EYES that make people think he’s a girl

  • While his previous demands all involved “hold me, hold me, hold me,” in the language of atonal screaming, his demands are more complex but consequently also more charming. For example, he may offer me a coffee tin and demand that I yell “hellooo” into it, or may insist on my opening a buckle so he can immediately re-buckle it, or he may just hang on my leg going “Mama UP, MILK… PEEASE!”  Whatever it is he’s doing, though, you can be darn tooting that he will insist on my being involved. If I should try to actually read or engage in another activity while he plays, I will be treated to a stern frown, a wagging finger and the words “All DONE DIS.”
  • While his preference would always be for me to stand around with both boobas out and swinging in close proximity to his face should the need for a drink of milk arise, Owl is pefectly capable of going all day at daycare or with his Daddy without nursing. PH can take care of him all day and put him down for bed at night. However, if Mama walks in the room… “MILK, PEASE MAMA!”
  • While he still is in diapers 100% of the time, he has peed successfully in the toilet twice. We think that this indicates great things for his future, including but not necessarily limited to becoming the first ever Prime Minister who doesn’t suck at his job.

Looking Ahead

There are certain changes that we’ve been threatening to bring down on Owl’s head when he turns two, such as peeing in the potty instead of in diapers and not having to nurse every two seconds that Mama is in calling distance.

From Baby To Little Boy

Perfect Husband especially seems dedicated to telling Owl that right now he is a baby, but when he turns two he will be a little boy. When he takes a bath without Mama, that’s a little boy bath as opposed to his baby baths, and when he drinks out of a regular cup, that’s a little boy cup instead of a baby cup.

Owl still identifies with himself as a baby, as evidenced by pointing at himself and saying “Baby Owl” or, when running, yelling “RUNNING BABY!” so we’ll see how this goes.

We don’t want to turn age two into a cold-turkey time-to-grow-up-fest, but we do want him to start seeing himself as an older kid, if only because then when another baby arrives he won’t feel ousted as “the baby”. Better to do that before I get pregnant again. 

Not Nursing Constantly

One of PH’s big goals is to cut down on Owl’s nursing, and if possible eliminate it completely.  I would settle for him NOT constantly hanging onto my breasts like some kind of 24 pound piranha.

I don’t want to forcibly wean him, preferring for him to taper off naturally. We are beginning to enact rules, such as not nursing when out of the house. In this last pre-two month I am also going to start to restrict nursing within the house to morning, nap time and bed time. I give him milk in a cup instead when he asks to nurse.

Can’t get rid of my reading time entirely…

Working on the Night Weaning

Owl’s night weaning suffered a bit of a setback on vacation, since most of the places we stayed didn’t have a luminous digital clock to tell us when it was “okay” for Owl to nurse.

Since returning home we have reinstated the rules, to his angry dismay. We want to start delaying the time he is brought into bed from 4ish onwards to 5ish onwards. Sometimes (like last night) he sleeps until 5 anyway so hopefully this won’t be too painful a transition.

What To Do For His Birthday

We need to figure this out. These are our options:

Option 1: Party in an indoor play gym.

He loves the one near our house and since we have friends with kids of all ages, this might be a good option. Boring for the adults, though, since the food options are basically plastic and old fruit.

Option 2: Party at local miniature train track.

It’s cheap, it’s fun, and the party area is fairly condensed, so everyone can mingle easily while the kids ride around and around and around on the little train. On the down side, Owl isn’t old enough to go unaccompanied so WE would ride around and around and around on the train, and besides, it could rain.

Option 3: Party at the science centre.

It’s geeky, it’s awesome, and they have a party pack especially for the under 2 set. It’s also pricey, and I’m not sure how much he would get out of it.

Option 4: Hole up and just celebrate as a family.

PH’s and my preference is Option 4, but have you met our child? EXTROVERT WOULD LOVE A PARTY. And we love the extrovert. So… party it is.