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~ the musings of a left wing left hander with two left feet

If By Yes

Monthly Archives: August 2012

The No-Cry Potty Training Solution: A Review And A Plan

29 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by IfByYes in From The Owlery, My Blag is on the Interwebs, Shhh, I'm Reading

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

books, Elizabeth Pantley, No-Cry Potty Training Solution, parenting, potty training, reading, reviews

It’s about time I got around to reviewing another one of those books Elizabeth Pantley sent me. I’ve been meaning to do it for a long time, but life kind of keeps getting in the way. But putting it off makes me feel like a thief.

Anyway, this is apropos because we are gearing up to potty train Owl, so it would kind of be good to have a post reviewing the book, and then another post once potty training is complete to say how well it worked.

The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

Overall, I found this book to be a really good overview of the whole potty training debate.

I loved the little tips she put in about things like why a splash guard is a no-no and how to teach them to wipe their own bums.

But, while I normally love the open-ended, menu-of-ideas approach taken by Pantley’s book, I was actually hoping for more decisive instructions this time.

Continue reading →

Why Social Media Could Save The World

25 Saturday Aug 2012

Posted by IfByYes in My Blag is on the Interwebs

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Blogging, facebook, internet, myspace, pinterest, social good, social media, social networking, tumblr, twitter

Social Media has been blamed for teen depression, poor grades, crime, identity theft, data mining, censorship, divorce, envy, bullying, defamation, anti-semitism, and pretty much everything else.

In fact, if Facebook hadn’t been launched three years too late, I’m sure someone would have linked it to September 11th by now. 

But the fact remains that in a few short years, social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter have become so popular that they even get their own verbs.

Facebook, being the most popular social media company out there, tends to be the social media scapegoat, much the way that McDonald’s is the scapegoat for the fast food industry. They get blamed for everything the most.

Maybe it’s because nearly a billion people use Facebook to some extent and it bothers us that one company owns information on that many human beings.

Maybe it’s because breastfeeding photos are taken down, but holocaust denial groups and pro-anorexia boards thrive.

Maybe it’s because no one is entirely sure they understand their own privacy settings.

Maybe it’s because we want this excellent method of sharing our information with others to be (paradoxically) completely private.

Maybe it’s just that there’s something creepy and Big-Brotherish about Facebook and its ilk.

We are sure that all of this online sharing of information must be bad. Anything this addictive can’t be good.

Social Media is frequently labelled as the the downfall of true human interaction.

Studies have found that teens who use Facebook a lot are much more likely to be depressed, have lower grades, and all sorts of other problems in their lives. We talk a lot about how much social media is changing our world, and we’re pretty sure it’s for the worse.

We have never been more detached from one another, or lonelier. In a world consumed by ever more novel modes of socializing, we have less and less actual society. We live in an accelerating contradiction: the more connected we become, the lonelier we are. We were promised a global village; instead we inhabit the drab cul-de-sacs and endless freeways of a vast suburb of information.” – Stephen Marche, The Atlantic

But I disagree.

I think it could save the world.

Continue reading →

My Son Is A Fruit

24 Friday Aug 2012

Posted by IfByYes in From The Owlery, I'm Sure This Happens To Everyone...

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

babies, humor, parenting, toddlers

Parents like to think their kids are smart.

Then we have moments like this, which bring it all crashing down:

Owl *pointing at self*: “BABY!”

Me: “Yes, right now you’re a baby, but in a couple of weeks you’re going to be a little…”

Owl: “….BOY!”

Me: “That’s right! Because you’re going to be…”

*I hold out two fingers and smile knowingly at him*

Owl: “…APPLE!”

We Get Our Peace And Quiet Via Noise and Confusion

22 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love, Well, That's Just Stupid

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

children, crash crawly's, entertainment, parenting, play gym, toddlers

We tried a new indoor play gym this weekend.

Weekends used to be our time to sit around in our bath robes and play video games and pretend other humans didn’t exist.

No more.

Thanks to Extrovert McGee, we now have to find ways to entertain him so he doesn’t drive us bug nuts. Once out into the stimulating world, Owl is a joy. When trapped in a house full of toys he has already played with, he is a hang-off-your-arm burden.

Since he had already been to two playgrounds this weekend, we decided to go to an indoor play gym. On a spur-of-the-moment decision, we decided to visit Crash Crawly’s, which is a further drive from our house than our usual play spot for Owl.

REGRET.

This place was bigger and busier than our regular play gym, but we assumed that meant it would be better.

But it wasn’t.

The toddler area was divided by a spiralling wall almost as tall as an adult, which meant that you had to either follow your toddler around constantly, or just sit there staring at a wall wondering what your kid was doing now.

There was no gate to the toddler area, either which meant that you had to be ever vigilant that your toddler did not wander OUT of the toddler area and nine year olds were constantly roaming in to squash him in the ball pit.

The security pitiful, too. At our regular play gym, you have to line up to get your bracelets checked before they will unlock the door to let you out, so you can’t walk off with someone else’s child.

At this place, the in gate and the out gate were the same gate, and it didn’t lock, or even latch. You could just open it and go with a kid in your arms, and if you ran, the teeny boppers at the front desk probably couldn’t catch you in time.

But the craziest thing was the noise.

Insane, penetrating, giving-you-a-headache noise.

And I don’t mean the noise of gleeful children. Sure, there were lots of screams and shouts.

But they put the toddler area directly underneath some kind of air gun game which emitted ear splitting roars on a near-continual basis.

 

It was not only disturbingly disruptive to our introverted brains, but it seemed totally crazy.

There were signs everywhere talking about how the toddler area was designed to stimulate young minds, and they provided all these music-based toys on the wall to help stimulate his psychic growth.

But all of that was pointless, since I don’t think Owl could hear a thing from those toys.

Sure, your kid can’t hear the music he makes, but you’ve already paid your entrance fee, so who care?

But he did like the ball pit.

When I weigh the pros and cons of going back, it looks like this:

Pros: Ball pit

Cons: Deafening noise, no way to pen toddlers in, poor security, more expensive.

I don’t think Owl will be enjoying the ball pit often, because WE have the keys to the car and you aren’t forcing us back THERE in a hurry.

You know, once upon a time I used to fantasize about what I would do if someone gave me a blank-slate day – a day in which nothing I did would have any permanent ramifications, whether it was telling a boy that I liked him or running up the down escalator.

Now, I dream about what I would do if I had 48 hours of complete solitude.

It involves a lot of wearing my bath robe and pretending other humans don’t exist.

The Psychology of Mortimer

20 Monday Aug 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

books, children's fiction, kids, mortimer, munsch, psychology, reading

One of my friends sent us Robert Munsch’s Mortimer as a gift when Owl was born, and it’s one of the only books that he actually listens to, rather than constantly interrupting the narrative by pointing and yelling shrilly, “A TRUCK!!”

PH and I read it differently, though, and it has led to discussions about Mortimer’s motivations.

We can’t really agree on just what Mortimer’s problem is.

For those who don’t know this classic tale, it goes thusly:

Young Mortimer goes upstairs to bed and is warned to be quiet. He responds with “Yes! Yes!” and then proceeds to sing so loudly and joyfully that he drives his family to distraction.

He is visited, in turn, by his irate father, by 17 siblings (Mortimer is actually a Duggar, I guess), and two police men. Each time he is scolded and told to quiet down, he is even more emphatic in his agreement to do so, yet his noise actually gets louder and louder.

Everyone starts arguing with each other about what to do with him and he eventually starts singing softly to himself and then drifts off.

How I See The Story:

As a dog trainer, I see this as a basic story of operant conditioning. Mortimer, as one of 18 children, doesn’t get a lot of attention and he gets so wound-up that he is willing to take even negative attention.

His bedtime antics are rewarded by the constant visits upstairs. Once the attention ceases (everyone gets wrapped up in each other), Mortimer slowly winds down and drifts off. When I read Mortimer to Owl, Mortimer’s “Yes! Yes! Yes!” has a casual tone, like “yeah, yeah, yeah.”

When he winds down at the end, I trail off and fluctuate my pitch, as if he’s a tape recorder that is running out of battery.

Perfect Husband reads it differently.

How PH Sees The Story:

PH sees Mortimer as a child who is sadly afflicted by some kind of mental disorder. He wants to be good but is simply unable to control his deep seated drive to create chaos.

When PH reads Mortimer, his yesses have a frantic note as Mortimer becomes increasingly intimidated by his scolders. Mortimer’s father makes him a little nervous, his siblings’ wrath en masse makes him even more desperate to behave, while the policemen send him into a near-grovel of promises to shut up.

However, no matter how much he tries, he just can’t seem to suppress the devil inside him who simply MUST MAKE NOISE. In the end, when he has wreaked so much havoc that flower pots are flying and the family baby is looking distinctly worried, Mortimer finally finds some kind of satisfaction in his soul.

He sings his song once more, quietly, but this time it has a triumphant note, and then he goes to sleep content.

We are each fascinated by the other’s interpretation. How can such a simple tale be told in such different ways?

So I went online to find out more.

I learned that Mortimer was Munsch’s first book, and that unlike many of Munsch’s characters, he wasn’t drawn from life.

I even listened to Munsch read the work, and his telling ran right down the middle between my telling of it and PH’s.

So we may never know what really makes that little bald kid tick.

But Owl seems to enjoy hearing the story no matter who is reading it, and maybe one day he can read it to us and give us his own interpretation.

I’m looking forward to that. Maybe it’ll give us insight on why our little noise maker won’t go to sleep.

If you read Mortimer to your kids, how do you tell the story?

Update on Beloved Dog

15 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Damn Dogs, Life and Love

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

dogs, urinary tract infection, veterinary medicine

As some of you might remember, I was panicking a few months ago about the state of Beloved Dog’s health.

I posted a couple of updates afterwards on Twitter:

Bloodwork came back very definitive for pancreatitis. According to the numbers BD should be barfing everywhere and crying. So confused.

— Carol @IfByYes (@IfByYesTweets) May 11, 2012

Instead, he looks like this… pic.twitter.com/QvkTVl31

— Carol @IfByYes (@IfByYesTweets) May 11, 2012

Well, the upshot was that I decided to get him an ultrasound. 

The ultrasound specialist is a super nice guy, and he did a really thorough job on Beloved Dog. He said the liver looked good, no sign of “hepatocellular syndrome” which was what had caused my previous dog to limp. The pancreas looked normal (bafflingly). There were some nodes in his spleen which were “probably benign” but he aspirated them just to be sure. And he thought the bladder wall looked a little thickened.

“Has he ever had a bladder infection?”

“He had blood in his urine after he got into the Thanksgiving ham. I put him on antibiotics and he seemed better. I never got around to rechecking his urine to be sure.”

“Well, let’s take a sample just to see.”

So he took a urine sample.

The urine looked pretty clean. There was some blood, but since he took the urine directly from the bladder with a needle, that’s not unusual. No sign of infection. He also sends all his reports to a specialist in the states for a second opinion, and the U.S. specialist thought the bladder looked fine, so I thought no more about it.

The cytology came back as normal spleen.

So we just kind of dropped the diagnostics.

For some reason my dog’s blood keeps testing positive for pancreatitis, but he doesn’t actually seem to have it, or any kind of cancer that could cause it.

Then, on Saturday, he peed in the house. He was standing right next to Perfect Husband and he just started to go. Since he hasn’t done such a thing for years, I caught a sample and brought it in to work on Monday.

Blood.

LOTS of blood.

The kind that I qualify as “TNTC” because the red blood cells were too numerous to count under the microscope.

At the same time, there was very little bacteria, very few white blood cells, and no crystals. No signs, in other words, of an infection.

Dr. Azaria recommended a urine culture, but I wanted a sterile sample. Beloved Dog has a lot of fur, and I didn’t want to pay the lab a bunch of money to grow the bacteria from his penis hair.

The next day I brought Beloved Dog in with a full bladder, but before we had a chance to try and take it out of him, he peed on the floor.

We collected it just in case, but it looked like this:

Should pee look like tea?

“Maybe the floor was dirty,” I said hopefully. “It didn’t look like that yesterday.”

“I keep that floor clean,” said the kennel attendant indignantly.

Grand. My dog is peeing brown.

Now, I see a lot of urinary tract infections at work; in fact, at my clinic we just sniff urine and say “ugh, smells like UTI”. But my dog’s pee was a weird enough colour that even the receptionist remarked on it.

By coincidence, the ultrasound specialist happened to be coming in that same day, so he did another quick scan and collected a new sample, and he didn’t even charge me for it.

No stones in the bladder, no tumors, just that thickened bladder wall.

I’ve sent it away to culture, and in the meantime I’ve put him on antibiotics.

Hopefully his pee will change back to yellow soon.

One thing’s for sure – this time I am rechecking his darn urine.

Well, F*** Me, Owl Survived A Daycare Centre

11 Saturday Aug 2012

Posted by IfByYes in From The Owlery

≈ 17 Comments

Tags

bad words, child care, children, daycare, toddler

Owl’s Daycare Lady is on vacation and I’ve been patching together care for him piece by piece. Thursday and Friday of this week were courtesy of PH’s corporate daycare downtown. As part of his benefits he gets 2 free days a year.

I was reluctant to send him to one of these massive centres because studies have shown that kids in these environments have high cortisol (the stress hormone) levels. No matter how well trained and caring the staff, it’s just not the safety of home. That’s why I wanted a small home daycare instead.

But we’re low on options (next week The Farm Fairy is taking him one day and the other three days I have hired the newest helper at Owl’s Daycare, who I slightly distrust because she wears impractical shoes and spells “sure” “shore”). So on Thursday and Friday PH took Owl downtown and I biked to work.

I was worried that the change of routine, and being dumped all day at a big centre filled with complete strangers might stress Owl out.

PH was like “have you met our child?” and he was right – we know because they have a parents’ webcam.

PH sent me running commentaries on all of Owl’s doings:

Food time! They’re sitting at the tables and red smocks are being put on them all. It’s really cutely ridiculous. Owl’s seat is mostly out of shot so it’s hard to see how he’s doing. However we may safely assume the standard OMNOMNOM.

These children are good eaters. Not one of them has stood up yet. Owl is in tough competition.

And just as I say that, the first one falls. Tension mounts.

Another two fall, and the gustatory battle truly begins.

The last standing warriors have been grouped together at one table for the final eat off. 

Owl is down! He finishes outside of the medals in fourth place! What a stunning turn of events! 

So clearly Owl had a good time, and I was silly to worry.

But you never know what can happen when you leave your child with strangers. Look at this poor kid, who got his face scrubbed with a Magic Eraser or something.

But Owl did fine. His face is not burned by cleaning chemicals, and he does not appear to be in the least traumatized.

But he DID come home yesterday repeating something that sounded an awful lot like a swear word.

Tell me, what does it sound like he’s saying to YOU?

Gearing Up For Age Two

08 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by IfByYes in From The Owlery, Life and Love

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

23 month old, babies, child development, growing up, parenting, toddlers, turning two, weaning

Owl will be 2 years old in ONE MONTH FROM TODAY.

Holy crappola.

I do NOT feel like two years have gone by. I mean, look how much he has grown and changed.

23 months ago he…

  • Was extremely “vocal”
  • Hated sleep with a fiery passion
  • Got constant comments on his big eyes
  • Was intensely demanding
  • Nursed constantly
  • Had all of his bowel and bladder movements in diapers

Now he…

  • Is extremely vocal
  • Hates sleep with a fiery passion
  • Gets constant comments on his big eyes
  • Is intensely demanding
  • Nurses constantly
  • has all of his bowel and bladder movements in diapers.

…Okay, so when I put it like that it doesn’t sound as impressive.

But let’s look at the nitty gritty a bit:

Continue reading →

New WMB Site Design and New WMB Post!

01 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by IfByYes in My Blag is on the Interwebs

≈ 1 Comment

Check out my latest post on World Moms Blog, and our shiny new website.

Are You Being Rude? I Can’t Tell, I’m Canadian. 

Isn’t it purty?

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