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Guys, I think I’m in love, and it’s with a woman.

And she’s gay.

Okay, actually, the ACTRESS is gay, and it’s really the character I am in love with.

Also, it’s totally a platonic love.

BUT THAT DOESN’T SOUND AS GOOD SO LET’S JUST SAY I’M IN LOVE.

A friend of ours put us onto Better Off Ted when we signed up for a free month with Netflix.

This show is hilarious. HILARIOUS. We have watched all but the last two episodes, and we keep putting off watching those because we don’t want to finish this short lived but brilliant series.

While I am amused by many of the characters on the show (Ted’s wide-eyed innocence and straight-laced charm, Lem’s exaggerated facial expressions and Phil’s depressing references to his completely unloving wife) the real star of the show is Portia De Rossi’s character, Veronica.

This woman is the EXACT OPPOSITE of me in every way:

I have low self confidence.

Veronica: I’m good at everything I do. I’m not bragging, because bragging is the one thing I’m not good at. Although, if I wanted to be, I’d be excellent at that, too. 

…As I just proved.

I get rattled when I’m under pressure. 

Interviewer: How would you describe your job?

Veronica: Cleverly.

I love animals.

Veronica: I’ve always wanted to tell a giraffe how stupid it looks.

I have difficulty with confrontation.

Veronica: Is there such a thing as too intimidating? Is there? Answer me, you little bean counter.

I’m articulate about my emotions.

Veronica: So this is guilt, huh? In the past, I’ve always just counteracted this feeling with other emotions, like sugar, or drunk.

I’ve always known I wanted children.

Veronica: While right now I’m neither interested in raising a child, nor in playing landlord for nine months to a parasitic organism, I just want to keep my options open.
Lem: You want to have my baby?
Veronica: Well, using your DNA would only be my Plan E. Behind fall in love and breed, clone, take one of my sister’s kids, or rip out the whole works and sail around the world.

I wouldn’t be comfortable being part of a giant corporate machine:

Veronica: Legal’s position is, we don’t know if hard work killed Jenkins. Legal thinks he may have had high cholesterol. They’re also floating the idea that his being dead may have been a pre-existing condition, and that he may not have been alive when we hired him.

I like Holland.

Veronica: In his family, the “P” is silent. I think it’s Dutch. It sounds like their stupid handiwork, with their cheese and their giant propeller buildings.

But they say that opposite attracts, and I have to say, I would give up the Dutch and the dogs to be able to walk into a room with that confidant, nothing-fazes-me look on my face.

So here are my attempts at it.

Oh yeah. It’s getting there.