Tags
babies, child care, child development, cloth diapers, diapers, disposable diapers, health, toddlers
Our baby has no bum.
When rear ends were being handed out, Owl was at the back of the line, or possibly not even in the building. I sometimes wonder whether the reason he hovers in the 10th percentile is simply because other babies have bums.
Normally, we don’t really notice our child’s complete lack of buttocks. His cloth diapers are thick and bulky, and they hold his pants up very well, while also providing a nice cushion for landing on.
^artificial bum
But when we travel, and we put him in disposables, we REALLY NOTICE. First of all, when he topples over he is much more likely to cry, as there is very little padding to protect his wee tail bone. Secondly, his pants DON’T STAY ON.
It’s really quite ridiculous. We had to pin all of his pants at the waist to keep them on when we went home for Christmas, and my mother in law had to actually hem and alter the pants on his little suit that my mother gave him – it was a 12 month size and he was 15 months old but WE HAD TO ALTER HIS PANTS.
Altered pants: STILL TOO BIG
Even then, the pants didn’t stay on well.
When Owl is in disposables, even the pants that are normally too snug on him hang down until he looks like a little gangster.
Owl in disposables
There’s simply no way to keep them on, because he has no waist for them to hang on. His body tapers from the shoulders like a carrot.
and this is in a swim diaper, which is still pretty bulky
But we never considered that we might actually be causing his bum deficiency.
We were shown the error of our ways by the Helper Lady at Owl’s daycare.
I picked Owl up a couple of days ago and found him wearing a disposable diaper.
“Helper Lady put him in that, and I didn’t have the energy to argue with her,” said Daycare Lady. “She asked me to pass on a message to you, because her English isn’t good enough for her to explain it to you in person.”
“Oh?”
“She thinks that his cloth diapers are the cause of his diaper rash.”
“You mean the diaper rash that started when we tried using wet wipes on him, and that has been clearing up ever since we went back to cotton wipes and water?”
“Yes. It’s looking a lot better. Um, she also wanted me to tell you that she thinks that the cloth diapers are constricting his bottom, and that’s why it’s so small.”
“…what?”
“She thinks that they don’t breathe properly, and they are snug on him, and that’s keeping his bottom from growing as fast as his top part…”
Guess who has two thumbs and a corset on his bum? THIS BABY
“…REALLY?”
“You’re lucky she doesn’t speak English! She used to be a high school teacher! She’s very DEFINITE about her views!”
I brought Owl back to daycare in a cloth diaper the next day anyway, but if anyone knows a website where I can find information about the risks of disposable diapers or the benefits of cloth diapers in Farsi, I’d greatly appreciate it.
Meanwhile, I need to think about warning Happy Nappy about this unanticipated effect of their diapers on infant bum development.
Because apparently baby bums are like goldfish: they only grow if given a roomy enough container.
WHO KNEW?
Graham has no butt either! I don’t know if it’s quite as dire, but we always had a problem finding diapers that fit. I was so happy once he hit about 18 months and diapers finally seemed to fit. Or at least, not fall off.
His pants, though, still do. This kid, who will be 3 in 2 months, can still wear 24 month pants… except he’s too tall for them. 2T pants are starting to get short. But even the 2T with the inside elastics you can button to make them tighter are still on the tightest setting. Good thing summer’s coming cuz shorts are all this kid can wear.
Aha! So the question is – what brand of diaper shrank YOUR baby’s bum?
Damn Huggies!!
What that boy needs are a pair of wee baby suspenders. One of my kids (can’t remember which) had a pair. HUGELY helpful!
As for daycare helper lady… snort… I’m sure she *means* well. For your sake, I hope she doesn’t learn English anytime soon…
Do they even still MAKE suspenders?
I don’t think so, more’s the pity. I currently have a child in daycare who has no butt (her dad lovingly refers to her as “Chickenbutt”) and I went hunting for a pair. No luck. The pair I had was a hand-me-down. Goodness knows how old they were. For all I know, they haven’t made any in 30 years… and that’s plumb dumb, because there are a fair number of buttless babies out there. :-D
That is SOOOOO funny! Ask Helper Lady if the constriction is retro-active. If it is, I am going to place an order with Happy Nappy, stat.
I agree!!! if you find out all we have to do is wrap ourselves in the magical fabric of a cloth diaper to lose a few inches, it will make you RICH! and i will be your first customer:)
And no, i’ve never had this problem, at least with Violette…. She’s got a booty on her, it’s scary:O it’s like she’s destined for music videos;) have you seen much music lately? probably not… i’ll be quiet now:)
my only advice for increasing his padding, ice cream, chocolate, chips, and mcdonalds… no? fine then be a horrible mother and let him land on that tiny lil bottom;)
I’m going to market the Cloth Diaper Solution to millions. And as for feeding him up, I don’t know what more we CAN feed him! We’re already guilty of the occasional ice cream/McDonald’s run, and I sweat he eats more than we do!
I love your site–will also be using animal training techniques when I have a child…thank you so much for all your insightful and well written posts. I love other culture’s different ideas-and how odd our “right” ways must seem to them.
Anyways, there are lots of places to buy baby suspenders-just google it. I found them on etsy and amazon as well as tutorials on how to make them. Can’t imagine it would be all that difficult-thick elastic and some clips?
I’ve mentioned how our boys are very similar – our son is 26 months now, and I’m thinking I’ll have to take the 12 month sweatpants out of the rotation (or the emergency backup daycare rotation, which is where they have been recently, until he was sent home in them) because they are just getting too short. :)
And he has always worn disposables.
Owl has more hair than our son does now, though. :D
That is getting chopped off very soon, I think. It’s definitely time for a haircut.
All I meant was: our son is still bald from birth. :) He’s got a bit more fuzz, some of it is over an inch long, but it’s all baby-fine and invisible. I’m impressed that Owl has managed to grow a head of hair! No idea when our son will manage that.
We’ve been thinking forever that we should buy/make a charlie brown shirt to take christmas photos… But I’m not creative and I haven’t found one yet…
Lol
Helper Lady may be on to something. Sophia is a big little girl always teetering between 65 and 70 percentile for weight and height but no hiney despite her mama having a big ole butt. The only common denominator between our kids is the cloth diapers.
Someone should alert the press!
LOL
Have you ever seen the things you buy to put around cucumbers when they’re growing? You snap them around wee cucumbers and then the cucumbers grow to fill them and they become heart-shaped or square or whatever you fancy. Same with cloth diapers. Next time, buy one that’s whimsically shaped.
Seriously, though… I use cloth diapers and my baby has a bum.
You use the same diapers no less. Can I bring a photo of RuRu’s bum to daycare?
I’ll gladly provide one :)
In fact, I think I have one on this very computer.
Hilarious – the idea that the cloth nappies made his bum small. Chuckling away here… :)
The Boy *has* a butt, however, he has little short legs in comparison with the rest of his body. In order to get pants that fit around his belly, they are too long for his stubby legs. He steps on the cuffs, then shimmies out of them, and then he’s pantsless.
My Girly suffered from Noassatal as a baby, but she finally grew a bum. Not a huge bum, but some of the cutest little bum cheeks we’ve seen. I actually still have trouble fitting her bean pole physique, though. Be patient. He’s probably just a late bum bloomer.
She was a disposable diaper baby, so the helper’s theory is blown!
Pingback: Potty Training, End of Week 1 « If By Yes