Someone on my Facebook recently posted that they had overheard this spoken in a comic book store:
Asking us why we don’t watch The Big Bang Theory is like asking a self-respecting gay person why they don’t watch Will and Grace.
THANK YOU.
I’ve tried to like The Big Bang Theory. I really, really have. Perfect Husband and I keep tuning in and trying to make it through an episode. So far our record is three in a row during a marathon before we tapped out.
The Big Bang Theory Has Some Good Points
I love the character of Sheldon, who clearly has Asperger’s syndrome but is coping beautifully with it. He’s the only character who actually seems comfortable with who he is, and I find him the most believable personality, even when he’s being completely outrageous. Pretty much all of the show’s best lines come from him, too.
Even better, they actually do hire scientists to write certain parts of the script, so the philosophical nerd banter, the equations scribbled on the blackboards, and most of the references are completely accurate, putting shows like CSI to shame with their actual correct use of SCIENCE.
The show is filled with little Easter Eggs that only real nerds/scientists/geeks would pick up on, and jokes that laymen wouldn’t get.
And PH and I do guffaw at all of those little moments that are clearly aimed at amusing the geeks out there:
Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the same side.
Hahahahaha!
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, ‘For you, no charge.’
Hee hee hee!
Oh, he mentioned Occam’s Razor!
Oh, he dressed as The Doppler Effect for a costume party!
I know what those things are and so I shall giggle in glee because I feel so clever for getting their oh-so-nerdy jokes!
All geeks in this family.
But that’s what it comes down to – even those delightfully nerdy jokes just leave us feeling dirty and used, because we know that those jokes are the result of Chuck Lorre and company trying to butter us up.
If We Laugh Maybe It Will Hurt Less
The whole show is just so calculated that it makes us throw up in our mouths a little bit… or should I say “engage in emesis which we retain within our oral cavities”? That’ll cue the laugh track for sure.
That laugh track is the first of the many things that ruin The Big Bang Theory for us. It is constant, intrusive, and worst of all – it sends a disturbing message about what the producers actually think qualify as punchlines.
And I have to say, most of them are not clever science puns.
Here is a sample of dialogue from an episode that I started but couldn’t stomach for longer than 10 minutes:
Sheldon: So, what time does the costume parade start?
[laughter]
Penny: The parade?
Sheldon: Yeah, so the judges can give out prizes for the best costume: most frightening, most authentic, most accurate visualization of a scientific principle…
[laughter]
Penny: Oh, Sheldon, I’m sorry, but there aren’t any judges or parades or prizes.
Sheldon: This party is just going to suck.
[laughter]
Penny: No! Come on, it’s going to be fun and you all look great. I mean, look at you, Thor, and oh, Peter Pan! That’s so cute!
[laughter]
Leonard: Actually, he’s Robin H…
Howard: I’m Peter Pan!
[laughter]
Howard: And I’ve got a handful of pixie dust with your name on it.
[laughter]
Penny: No, you don’t.
[laughter]
Penny: Oh, hey, what’s Sheldon supposed to be?
Leonard: Uh, he’s the Doppler Effect.
Sheldon: Yes. It’s the apparent change in the frequency of a wave caused by relative motion between the source of the wave and the observer.
[laughter]
Penny:…Oh! Sure, I see it now, the Doppler Effect!
[laughter]
Alright, I’ve gotta shower. You guys, um… make yourselves comfortable!
Leonard: Okay!
Sheldon: See? People get it!
[laughter]
Here’s the thing – even if I forgive the existence of the laugh track, which I have for some shows (I’m an inveterate Friends fan and they have an intrusive laugh track, too), I am irked by what the producers have deemed funny.
Here is what tends to cue the laugh track:
- Science terms
- Big words in general
- SciFi/Fantasy/Comic references
- Nerds being awkward around women
- Women not getting science/SciFi/Comic stuff
In fact, those above five points could pretty much describe the basic plot line for every show, and that’s what I can’t handle.
Who’s Laughing At Who?
Are we supposed to be laughing with the characters, or laughing at the characters?
On the one hand: If the show is meant to mock nerds rather than cater to them, then why would they put in so many Easter Eggs and little in-jokes that only true nerds really get? Why would they spend so much time and effort making sure that their math and their science was accurate?
So surely they intend this show to be aimed at geeks, with characters the geeks can relate to.
But…
If we are laughing WITH the characters, then why does every science term or mention of a comic book/science fiction show/fantasy novel get a big laugh? Why is an explanation of the Doppler Effect hilarious?
And if the show is meant to bring geekery to the common man, why do they make it so unenviable?
The characters are walking amalgams of every single nerd/geek/dweeb/gamer stereotype there is.
They are socially inept and useless with the opposite sex, from Raj who can’t even speak when a female is in the room (most inconvenient trait for a sitcom character EVER) to the complete sleazeball Howard to asexual Sheldon. They all have dominating, unintellectual (and often religious) mothers from whom they are still trying to successfully de-parent. They are completely oblivious about pop-culture, lack the basic social graces, and treat women like they are foreign species.
This is the geek equivalent of putting someone in blackface and calling him “Sambo”. It’s plain offensive in its complete disregard for, oh, you know, REALITY, and its blatant pandering to all preconceived notions of nerdiness.
I am also bothered by how they lump all forms of geekery together. The physics nerds CAN also be D&D nerds, but the two don’t inherently go hand in hand. In fact, most gamer/comic/fantasy geeks are arts students who couldn’t tell Lysine from Glutamine if their lives depended on it. Some, like PH and I, span the spectrum, but many do not.
All nerds seem to be one and a same to the producers of this show: LOSERS.
So even when I laugh at one of the jokes they have aimed at me, the loser, I cannot enjoy it fully.
Calculated To Amuse And Offend Equally
I feel like the producers are playing to both sides of the fence.
They put in those Möbius strip jokes to amuse the nerds (“I get that math joke, yay me!”), and they pander to geek interests (“hey! They referenced my favourite comic book character! I love this show!”) but they also portray the characters as socially inept losers so everyone else can have a good laugh at their expense:
Sheldon: I need your opinion in a matter of semiotics.
[laughter]
Penny: I’m sorry?
Sheldon: Semiotics, the study of signs and symbols. It’s a branch of philosophy related to linguistics.
[laughter]
Penny: Okay, sweetie? I know you think you are explaining yourself, but you’re really not.
[laughter]
In a way, that above exchange is brilliant.
Those of us with two brain cells to rub together are feeling good about ourselves because Sheldon’s sentence is perfectly comprehensible to us and that makes us feel intellectually superior to Penny.
The dimmer bulbs get to laugh with Penny and feel good about themselves, because clearly Sheldon is being a wacky incomprehensible nerd so let’s laugh at his failed attempts to communicate with us while identifying with the pretty girl!
It’s Funny Because Geeks Can’t Get Girlfriends
No matter what the laugh track is roaring over, I end up disliking the show further. The jokes that are aimed to make me feel clever just make me feel used, even as they amuse me, and the jokes that mock/stereotype the things/people I care about make me feel insulted and marginalized.
Often, they cleverly manage to kill both of those birds with one stone, delighting me by showing the characters talking about or doing something that I do, and then BASHING it just as I am beginning to open my heart to Chuck Lorre and his ilk.
Sheldon: Gentlemen, please focus, you are facing a fire breathing dragon!
Raj: I don’t know if I want to play any more.
Sheldon: Because you don’t have a girlfriend? Good lord. If that becomes a reason not to play Dungeons and Dragons, this game is in serious trouble.
[laughter]
I want to go and thump Chuck Lorre on the head and tell him that smart people are not inherently losers. Liking Tolkien or Star Trek does not mean that you can’t talk about sports or maintain a normal and healthy romantic relationship. PH is proof of that.
Listen, I’ve played D&D (And by the way, as an aside, no one CALLS it Dungeons and Dragons. It’s D&D. While we’re on the subject, no one ever talks about the “Dungeon Master” either. It’s the DM, or, more recently, the GM) for years with several different groups of people, most of whom are into Star Trek, Tolkien, and comic books…
- All of them were able to speak comfortably in my presence.
- MOST of them were in committed and (often) healthy relationships.
- None of them lived with their mothers.
- None were virgins.
- No one thought that Frodo is cool. GANDALF is cool. STRIDER is cool. BALROGS ARE COOL.
- They were much more likely to fight over who gets to be Harvey Birdman when attending a costume party, rather than The Flash.
- Oh, and half of them were girls. I know! Shocking! The group with whom I play “Dungeons and Dragons” (well, actually, we use Pathfinder, but D&D is as generic as Kleenex nowadays) consists of three men (not counting Owl), and four women. In my last group, PH was the only man.
Surprise, Chuck! Women are geeks too! AND, believe it or not, those women are not immediately identifiable by their glasses and dowdy cardigans.
We even breed.
Smart Women Aren’t Sexy, You Know
Let’s look at some of the women from this show:
Penny, the only real main female character of the show as far as I can tell, although Chuck Lorre and company have not even bothered to give her a last name. She functions basically as a sex-object, and, since she is not a nerd, can educate the intelligent losers on basic social graces.- Sample quote: “I’m cute, I get by”
Leslie Winkle, who DID get a last name, but only appeared for 4 episodes. Apparently they wrote her out because they “couldn’t write for her”.- Sample quote: “You’re sure you’re okay postponing intercourse until our relationship is past the initial viability test? “
Bernadette Rostenkowski, who gets broken up with by Howard when she gets a better job than him.
- Sample quote: “Sometimes Howard and I pretend that his arrhythmia is acting up and I’m his sexy cardiologist. And the naughty part is I’m not in his HMO network.”
Amy Farrah Fowler, who talks like no one I have met in real life.- Sample quote: “And yet here I stand before you, 130 pounds of raging estrogen, longing to grab hold of your gluteus maximus, and make Shakespeare’s metaphorical beast with two backs. “
SERIOUSLY?
If Only It Sucked A Little Less
If the characters on the show were admirable people, I would love the show.
If the characters reminded me of people I know in real life, I would love the show.
If there were women who were main characters in their own right, and not just introduced as potential love objects for the dweeby men, I would love the show. But Chuck Lorre knows that his audience would be cut in half by doing so.
Shows that nerds really love, like Better Off Ted and Firefly (with the possible exception of Dr Who) don’t do as well, because they aim at entertaining the geeks, instead of mocking them. Other shows just market themselves directly to the geeks online, like Journey Quest and Dr Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.
The Unthreatening Stereotype To The Rescue
Ultimately, I think that The Big Bang Theory is very much like Will and Grace. Will and Grace popularized homosexuality in the media by exploring the personal lives of several entertaining gay characters. The world tuned in to mock them, and grew to like them. The result has been increasing popularity of gay-themed television shows, some of which are genuinely good.
Will and Grace did a good thing, even if it did feed into stereotypes and laugh at as often as it laughed with the characters.
I think The Big Bang Theory is doing the same thing – and if it is getting science and fantasy and general geekiness out of the closet, then great.
But I can’t watch it, and it still raises questions in my mind:
Does the fact that this show is popularizing the previously marginalized world of science and comic books make up for the offensive stereotyping? And is it really making people more positive towards geeky things? Or is it just perpetuating the stereotypes?
Though I have to say – Sheldon ALMOST makes it worth it.
What bothers me more is how it treats Sheldon. What is it saying to us about all the other people living with Asperger’s? I certainly don’t think that laughter should greet every socially awkward/OCD moment because there is no way that you could react that way in real life!
I like watching the show, but it doesn’t have the appeal to rewatch the way that I would for Friends. It’s gotten so it’s not funny the second time (if it was the first).
I do like those little Easter Eggs though 🙂
Yes, they make me feel clever.
And I don’t know how I feel about the way it treats Sheldon. In a way, he is the butt of many jokes (sample dialogues above are examples) but on the other hand, I think he is the real reason the show is popular at all, because he’s not a simpering little dweeb.
Just recently, I’ve begun cultivating an interest in this show – a lot of my students watch it, and as both a mother of a son with autism and someone who teaches books representing characters with autism, it seemed like necessary background knowledge. And in fact, I think I watched many of the same episodes you have, because even though I’ve only seen a handful of shows, I recognized most of the quotes you used in this post. Like you, I love Sheldon – there is something very real and human about him under all the hyperbole, and in many ways he represents exactly what I want for my son: he’s clearly Asperger-y, but he’s made it – he has a job and, more importantly, he has FRIENDS.
One of the episodes I watched involved his mother coming to rescue Sheldon when he got fired after insulting his new department head. There were many gross improbabilities to overcome in this episode: (1) what kind of university employer is able to fire a scientist for a single act of rudeness? what exactly is Sheldon’s job, and if he’s not protected by tenure, doesn’t he at least have a union? (2) Sheldon’s mother. As you pointed out, she is domineering, not very intelligent, and – surprise surprise – a religious whack job. As a Christian, I’m accustomed to the fact that almost any time a religious character is introduced in the mainstream media, his/her religious convictions will be either mocked or vilified, and Sheldon’s mother is no exception.
But even with all that improbability and offensiveness, I found the episode very moving – in fact, I find Sheldon’s relationship with his mother very moving, and I find myself able to identify with her even as she is made the butt of the jokes. Another, more recent episode, featured Sheldon’s breakdown when his usual barber has a heart attack. When he first moved to the city, he explains, his mother had his haircutting records forwarded to that barber. The idea of that mom getting her son settled in his new job and life by fabricating that story is funny, and absurd, but very moving to me.
I think that there is a kindness in the show towards all the character that makes me willing to overlook the exaggeration and stereotyping. I don’t think the entertainment value comes from despising the characters, but from recognizing some kind of kinship with all of them.
I think Bea basically summarised every reason why I enjoy the show despite the fact that it can be problematic.
Regarding Sheldon’s mum, she’s a religious stereotype to the max and yeah, it’s a shame that being a Christian in mainstream media is considered so hilarious (I too am a Christian), but actually she’s adorable and one of my favourite characters. She is a figure of fun in general on the show, but she is also warm, loving, caring, and has a genuinely good heart. Some of the lines they give her make me cringe, but also make me like in, in a roundabout kind of way. She comes across as a genuinely wonderful woman, in all her extreme religiosity and “whackjob” characterisation.
Yes, I do love Sheldon, and I’m glad you all agree with me that he must have Asperger’s. The mother character, on the other hand, is just yet another stereotype, and it’s the stereotypes that make it unwatchable for me.
Sheldon isn’t a stereotype. Sheldon is… real.
i enjoyed this a lot. i have made maybe three abortive attempts to watch the Big Bang Theory during the course of my life, and given up each time for the simple reason that I did not find it funny. I am not really a geek myself, but my boyfriend definitely is – he spends a lot of his time playing World of Warcraft and other things I forget the names of, and he loves Tolkien and Star Trek and comic books and is one of the most intelligent people i have ever met – and he is in no way socially inept. or rubbish with women. or a scientist. and he hates the Big Bang Theory more than anyone I’ve ever met.
Yes, he sounds like us, who feels alienated by the implications of the stereotypes used on the show!
My geeky husband and I love BBT. We’ve been watching it since the beginning and at first we could not believe this show was on, they were talking to us. We relate to these people flaws and all as well we know these people. They represent pretty much all of our friends in one way or another. We have the guy who could only talk to girls when drunk, the looking down on the guy with only a masters, yep seen it etc. Yes they are stereotyping nerds/geeks but in many interviews with the cast & crew you get that it is done with the utmost respect. They rarely get the science wrong which is incredible.
As for Sheldon’s being on the spectrum they’ve plainly said that he doesn’t have “it” as a way to keep it open for all and not be the poster child. Maybe that’s why I find it okay. Usually i’m the first one in line to call something out line but this show feels different to me.
I think their intentions are good, but I don’t like that these stereotypes are being perpetuated. I’m just not sure it’s right, you know? There are gay people like Jack from Will and Grace out there, too, but I would respect a show a lot more who showed someone who was his own character and stepped outside of the mold.
Like Sheldon. But more of them.
I don’t think the show is out of line, and I have zero problems with Sheldon being undiagnosed Asperger’s – many people are undiagnosed, including some people I know who I am SURE are on the spectrum but whose parents (or teachers) never spotted it.
I just can’t stomach being laughed at constantly. When the jokes are aimed AT me, fine, but when the jokes are making fun of me and the things I like, EFF them, you know?
And WHY doesn’t Penny deserve a last name?
It’s such a bummer intelligence is stereotyped as an unattractive quality. I’m not your typical nerdy girl, and when I bother to put on grown-up clothes rather than, “I raided someone’s 14-year-old punker brother’s closet” clothes, I probably do a decent job passing myself off as “hot,” but good grief do smart guys turn me on. There is just something about when an intelligent man gets his “smart” on about a topic he’s passionate/well-informed about… So hot. And that’s enough tmi for today.
Canned laughter is detestable, regardless of show. Don’t we know when to laugh at things on our own? Provided they’re actually funny, that is.
At the latest 24h roleplaying bonanza that is ChimeraCon, a young man came to the door, said something about “is this the virgin convention?” or something. The funny thing is, that anyone who comes in and tries to be funny quickly leaves – forty (or so) geeks who have no issues with rolling dice and who look at you in a “whatever, dude?” way can be a little intimidating, apparently! 😀
Never really got into tBBT. Loved W&G, though. (And find it hilarious how they cast a straight man as Will, and turned down a gay one – John Barrowman – because he was “too straight”!) Maybe because BBT it feels forced, somehow. Most geeks I know are not scientists, they’re perfectly ordinary people, even though arts and computer occupations are perhaps over-represented. And they’re not socially awkward, and they’re certainly not virgins. Geeks can get laid, have relationships, get married and even breed, just like everyone else!
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