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If By Yes

Monthly Archives: March 2012

I Keep Thinking He’s A Dog, But Owl Thinks He’s People

29 Thursday Mar 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Damn Dogs, From The Owlery

≈ 16 Comments

Tags

babies, child development, children, concepts, dog, experiments, generalization, learning, psychology, reading, symbols, toddler, words

Most of my experience with teaching and training beings whose brains are smaller than mine has been with animals. Furthermore, in most scenarios Owl acts and responds very much like a dog and so I treat him very similarly most of the time.

I use redirection, positive reinforcement, a high-pitched, encouraging tone when I deal with him, and it seems to work. He responds well to praise, touch, and food rewards. He likes to fetch.

He’s a puppy!

So I am amused and delighted when Owl displays human-like abilities that are beyond the grasp of the dogs I have worked with.

Like when he was 14 months old and I realized that he understood that he was looking at himself in the mirror.

Hi, me!

I pointed to his reflection and said “who’s that?” and he pointed to himself! To test his understanding, I secretly placed a banana sticker in his hair and showed him his reflection. Sure enough, his hand crept up to his hair while a perplexed look appeared on his face.

Dogs would NOT get that.

Also, I am constantly surprised by not only the extent to which he imitates us, but the extent to which he understands what he is imitating. Like at Hallowe’en, when he had just learned to walk, and he spotted a candy wrapper on the ground. He picked it up and toddled over to the cupboard under the kitchen sink, and proceeded to try and open it to throw away the wrapper.

A dog can learn to put something in the garbage if you teach him, but it would never occur to him to see something like a wrapper, identify it as garbage, and then try to throw it away himself. Hypothetically you could teach a dog to recognize certain things are garbage to be thrown away, but it would be a lot of work.

Your average dog does not watch you do something, intuit the intent behind your action, and then try to do it himself.

Owl does this every day.

I'll just slip these on...

Then there are other things that I almost don’t notice until I think about them.

For example, every morning I ask him to choose his footwear for the day. He can pick his wading boots, or his little doc-martin style boots. No matter which he chooses, he always brings me a matching pair. He has never brought me, say, one wader and one doc martin.

It’s the same thing when he brings me my own footwear (yes, I get my baby to fetch my shoes. I told you he is very like a dog…). He never brings me one sneaker and one boot. He brings me two sneakers, or two boots.

Again, a dog would have difficulty with that. He can fetch your shoes, but you’d have to formally train him to understand “fetch my sneakers” vs “fetch my boots”. It would take WORK.

But Owl does it as a matter of course. Humans are clever.

And the way he generalizes! I made the mistake of teaching my dog to chase my ex-boyfriend’s cat under the command “get the cat”. When I got my own cat, that command didn’t work, because he didn’t understand that “cat” meant any cat other than ex-boyfriend’s cat. We had to teach him our new cat’s name, instead.

But the baby understands categories easily. When he was 12 months old I could say “where’s Beloved Dog?” and he would point to Beloved Dog, meanwhile identifying him as “dog”. Ditto for the cat. He knew that we had A DOG and A CAT but that they each have their own unique identifiers as well.

We taught him what a hippo was, and from then on he could identify all sorts of hippos in all sorts of books, even drawn by different artists. No dog could do that!

"hippo" is one of his favourite signs

Then again, Owl’s capacity for self-control, maturity, patience, obedience, following basic instructions, and potty training are completely eclipsed by our dog, and certainly his capacity for destruction rivals any dog I have ever met.

So I am putting him to the ultimate test.

I am going to try to teach both dog and Owl to read.

Well, not READ.

At least, not as those who use the alphabet would consider to be reading (Owl is trying to teach himself the alphabet, but has difficulty after “D”…).

More… symbol recognition, like in Mandarin. I’m trying to teach Owl to recognize certain letter combinations as holding meaning.

I made Owl flash cards

some of his favourite things

I’m going to do the same with Beloved Dog. I borrowed flash cards from my friend and business partner who swear up and down that she has seen dogs learn to recognize words like “sit” and “down” and differentiate between them.

Just to be clear:

I am NOT pushing, pressuring, or otherwise making this un-fun for Owl. It’s just a game, something I am interested in to test his capacity for generalization and symbolic representation. I don’t believe that it will aid his development or help him school in the future.

I’m just pitting him against the dog.

For science.

(I’m so going to get trolled…)

Which one looks smarter to you?

Dog or Baby? Learn The Truth!

28 Wednesday Mar 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Damn Dogs, From The Owlery, I'm Sure This Happens To Everyone..., My Blag is on the Interwebs, Pointless Posts

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

babies, damaged property, destruction, dogs, photos, Polls

Hi folks!

Thanks for waiting. I know you’ve spent the last week wondering “Was it the dog or the baby??”

The answers you have been longing for are finally here.

Exhibit A - stain on the carpet: Dog, or Baby?

Survey says: BABY!

The Truth: BABY!

Man, I thought I’d get you guys for sure with this one. Surely brown stain on carpet = dog? But you were too clever for me! Yes, Owl did this. He managed to get his hands on a bottle of liquid Claritin and dump it all over the carpet. We THOUGHT we cleaned it up well, but I guess there must be some residual stickiness, because it has become increasingly more brown as time has gone on as it slowly gathers dirt from the detritus of our lives…

Exhibit B - chewed-up Baby Bels - Dog, or Baby?

Survey Says: DOG!

The Truth: BABY!

That’s right. Owl chewed through the plastic mesh, through the wrappers, through the wax, and destroyed half of our Babybels before we even arrived home from the grocery store.

Exhibit C - Decapitated cup - Dog, or Baby?

Survey Says: Baby, but by a nose – the split was pretty close to 50/50.

The Truth: DOG!

Apparently it was left on the floor, with milk still in it… Beloved Dog must have thought this was a new puzzle… It’s a shame, too, because Owl picked this cup out himself at the store. Ah well…

Exhibit D - Damaged sofa - Dog, or Baby?

Survey Says: DOG!

The Truth: BABY!

Owl not only took a small hole in the cushion fibres and picked it into several large and gaping holes, but he now pulls the fluff out of them whenever he gets a chance. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.

Exhibit E - Shredded L.M. Montgomery - Dog, or Baby?

Survey Says: BABY!

The Truth: DOG!

Beloved Dog wrecked this book in his youth, when he was two years old or so. Before we got the cat, leaving him with enough to do when I went to work every day was a challenge. This was the victim of a day when he did not have enough to do. So I got him a cat. He hasn’t chewed a book since…

Exhibit F - dented cheddar - Dog, or Baby?

Survey Says: BABY!

The Truth: BABY!

The dentition pattern gives this one away, I know, but I had to include it, because it happened in the SAME grocery run as the Babybel fiasco (notice the Babybels in the background). In fact, it happened WHILE I was putting the Babybels out of reach…

Exhibit G - shredded Kleenex - Dog, or Baby?

Survey Says: BABY!

The Truth: BOTH!

This one was a bit of a cheat, because it was really a toss-up. The Kleenex in this particular photograph was shredded by Owl, but actually Beloved Dog is just as frequently guilty of this exact same crime, even with the addition of the cat to the household. There’s just something fun to rip about Kleenex, I guess.

Who Dunnit: Dog Or Baby?

21 Wednesday Mar 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Damn Dogs, From The Owlery, I'm Sure This Happens To Everyone..., My Blag is on the Interwebs, Pointless Posts, Polls

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

babies, damage, destruction, dogs, photos, Polls, quizzes

I’m going to present you with a series of photos of things that have been damaged or destroyed. Some were perpetrated by the dog. Others were perpetrated by the baby. Which is which?

Continue reading →

SNEAK POST

18 Sunday Mar 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love, Perfect Husband, We Are Family

≈ 11 Comments

Hi All,

PH again with my breaking-in. I normally don’t have the urge to gate-crash Carol’s blog, especially so soon after the last time, but I felt it appropriate, given the circumstances.

Today is our six-year anniversary. Not our wedding anniversary – we’ve only been married for three and a half years, give or take – but the anniversary of when we started dating. Yes, I track these things.

Carol is currently off enjoying the best anniversary gift I can offer her – a night out with friends while I guard the homestand. Little Owl has just been sung to sleep after a fun evening with Dada, and all is quiet in the house.

I’m a very lucky man to have ended up with Carol. She brings more to the table as a parent than I ever will. She’s creative, intelligent, and caring. She’s the best mother that I’ve ever met (or, at least, tied for first – sorry if you read this blog, Mom), and she’s an infinitely better wife than a schmo like myself deserves.

After six years, she still makes me smile when she walks in the door. After six years, I still want to be a better person every day just to impress her.

After six years, I still want a lifetime more.

I’m happy that I’ll get the chance.

Happy anniversary, love.

Image

The Big Loser Theory

14 Wednesday Mar 2012

Someone on my Facebook recently posted that they had overheard this spoken in a comic book store:

Asking us why we don’t watch The Big Bang Theory is like asking a self-respecting gay person why they don’t watch Will and Grace.

THANK YOU.

I’ve tried to like The Big Bang Theory. I really, really have. Perfect Husband and I keep tuning in and trying to make it through an episode. So far our record is three in a row during a marathon before we tapped out.

The Big Bang Theory Has Some Good Points

I love the character of Sheldon, who clearly has Asperger’s syndrome but is coping beautifully with it. He’s the only character who actually seems comfortable with who he is, and I find him the most believable personality, even when he’s being completely outrageous. Pretty much all of the show’s best lines come from him, too.

Even better, they actually do hire scientists to write certain parts of the script, so the philosophical nerd banter, the equations scribbled on the blackboards, and most of the references are completely accurate, putting shows like CSI to shame with their actual correct use of SCIENCE.

The show is filled with little Easter Eggs that only real nerds/scientists/geeks would pick up on, and jokes that laymen wouldn’t get.

And PH and I do guffaw at all of those little moments that are clearly aimed at amusing the geeks out there:

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the same side.

Hahahahaha!

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, ‘For you, no charge.’

Hee hee hee!

Oh, he mentioned Occam’s Razor!

Oh, he dressed as The Doppler Effect for a costume party!

I know what those things are and so I shall giggle in glee because I feel so clever for getting their oh-so-nerdy jokes!

All geeks in this family.

But that’s what it comes down to – even those delightfully nerdy jokes just leave us feeling dirty and used, because we know that those jokes are the result of Chuck Lorre and company trying to butter us up.

Continue reading →

Posted by IfByYes | Filed under Life and Love, Oh The Inanity, Pointless Posts

≈ 12 Comments

The Only Thing Better Than Laughing WITH Babies Is Laughing AT THEM

12 Monday Mar 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Vids and Vlogs

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

babies, funny, videos

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/38289383]

 

Watch to the end.

 

Trust me.

 

I’m a bad parent for thinking this is funny, aren’t I?

Yet, I’m too busy giggling to care.

Elizabeth Pantley Landed On My Blog. I May Never Wash It Again.

12 Monday Mar 2012

Posted by IfByYes in My Blag is on the Interwebs, Shhh, I'm Reading

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

book reviews, books, Elizabeth Pantley, no-cry sleep solution

GUYS.

I got an email from Elizabeth Pantley, the author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution, a couple of weeks ago.

@IfByYesTweets no WAY! Am just (re)starting her book. Cool that she's so accessible! What about?

— Diana (@BlesstheFunk) February 23, 2012

She said that she stumbled on my blog posts about Owl’s sleep and my search for and eventual use of her book, and she said she was happy to know that I had found her book helpful.

(I hope she actually DID find and read my blog posts, rather than get forwarded links by her editors/media relations people, but you never know. Still, I choose to believe that she did!)

She wanted to know if I would like some free copies of her other books.

So of course, I said HELL YES.

Today I went down to UPS to pick up a box with three shiny new books in it. They still have that new book smell. Since I buy most of my books from Value Village or the used book store where PH used to work, this is a big deal for me.

They didn’t want to give me my books at first, because they were addressed to someone named Doug. I don’t know a Doug, unless you count my friend’s dog, and he’s not much of a reader. I pointed out that my own name was also on the label, right under Doug’s. The UPS lady looked at me suspiciously through her granny-glasses.

“I can’t give this to you. It’s addressed to Doug, not you,” she said firmly. “But my name is right there!” I said, pointing to the label and waving my ID.

“I’d really rather release this to Doug himself.”

“But there is no Doug! I don’t know who Doug is.”

“Well, it’s addressed to him.”

Eventually her younger male co-worker reasoned her into letting my have my package. “Her name IS on the box.”

“Well, then why does it say Doug?” the UPS lady argued.

“It must be a mistake.”

“Look, I was expecting the package. I know what’s in the package. My name is on the package,” I said, pointing again to the label.

So they let me have my package from Elizabeth Pantley.

(When I opened the box, there was a packing slip billing the cost of my books to the self-same Doug, so he must be a media relations guy or an editor or something at McGraw Hill.)

As a thank-you to her for the free books, I’ll of course be posting reviews of the books as I complete them.

The books are:

The No-Cry Sleep Solution For Toddlers And Preschoolers

The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

The No-Cry Discipline Solution.

The potty training one especially will probably get a couple of posts – I’ll post one as I begin the process, and another when I finally succeed. Here’s hoping you won’t have to wait until Owl is five years old for that second update :-p

18 Months Later…

10 Saturday Mar 2012

Posted by IfByYes in From The Owlery, Vids and Vlogs

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

18 months, babies, child development, milestones, parenting, toddlers

Owl is a year and a half old, as of a couple of days ago. Wow.

I ran into a volunteer from my old work that day – she spotted me at my new work, while buying pet medication. There was a lot of hugging and catching up to accomplish… and we realized that we hadn’t seen each other since I was 5 months pregnant… and now I have a one and a half year old.

1 hour old

I remember when he couldn’t even hold up his own head. Now he hands us heavy packages from our grocery bags at the end of a shopping run.

Where d'you want this 3 lb steak?

We have officially lost count of how many words he says either with speech or sign, usually both. He not only knows where his nose is, but also his feet, toes, eyes, eyelashes, elbows, knees, bum, back, shoulders and pretty much every other external body part (although he is still learning “thumb” and “scrotum”, both of which he confuses with “tongue”).

He also enjoys making animal noises, which he picked up on his own from books we read him. I always wondered why parents spend time teaching their kids animal  onomatapoeia. Well, it turns out, it’s because toddlers think it’s HILARIOUS.

He can do everything listed in the 18 month section of What To Expect The Toddler Years (although our copy is a Value Village edition from 1996, so for all I know, nowadays kids Owl’s age are expected to have discovered cold fusion by 18 months), including the “may even be able to” section (which includes “identify 1 picture by naming” – are they kidding?).

When Owl was born he would stay up for 8 hours straight, screaming and fussing and clawing at the world.

WHY AM I ALIVE??

Now he still stays awake for 8 hours straight, and he does his share of fussing still, but mostly he spends it climbing on things, taking things apart, and saying “Mama? Dada? Hiiiii! Byeeeee! Der ba da. Da! Mama? Mama? Malk? Mo? MO? MALK!!!!”

THIS PLACE IS AMAZING!

A friend of mine just had a baby and PH and I are baffled by this child. He SLEEPS. Like, most of the time. Like, they have trouble getting him to stay awake long enough to nurse. He sleeps with people in the room. He sleeps when being carried around. He barely wakes up for a cold wet wipe on his bum.

We can’t help but wonder what a baby like that would have been like. A baby who didn’t wake up if someone sneezed half way down the street. A baby who could be taken to restaurants and just slept through the meal. A baby who didn’t seem to wildly resent all moments spent off of the breast, and half of the moments spent on the breast.

A baby who wasn’t born fighting everything.

But then, we wonder if such a baby wouldn’t have grown up to be very different from the toddler we have now:

Pass the BC Rolls, please.

A toddler whom we can take to any restaurant because he happily eats and looks around and flirts with the waitresses for as long as the meal takes.

A toddler who never even looks back when I drop him at daycare every day.

A toddler who never cries when strangers talk to him or pick him up.

A toddler who makes other parents at daycare say “I hope our next one is more like Owl”.

A toddler who finds the shyest, more introverted toddler in the room at the community jungle gym and tries to get her to look at him.

A toddler who does stuff like this:

and this:

and this:

Owl, you still don’t sleep well. Your father and I are very, VERY tired.

But dear lord, how we love you and your ridiculous, overconfidant, extroverted ways.

We have no idea how we made a right handed extrovert, and there are days when you wear us down to our last nerve.

But you are so. much. fun. You make us laugh every single day.

It makes me sad that you will grow up and leave us, someday. But PH is looking forward to your being a teenager who refuses to leave his bed.

Because your tiny little 23 pound body WEARS US OUT.

We’re so tired.

Quick update from special guest blogger

08 Thursday Mar 2012

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love

≈ 9 Comments

Hi all,

PH here.

I have broken in to my wife’s blog using my mad ninja hacking skillz to post this quick announcement.

Carol sends her apologies for not blogging more. In her defence, she has been working three separate jobs, plus doing a video editing project for her friends, plus wrestling with a babby Owl who has gotten sick AGAIN (this child has the immune system of a geriatric inbred sheep, I swear). She loves you all and misses blogging about her life, but she has also had zero time for such luxuries as sleep, to say nothing of blogging.

Come to think of it, I haven’t had any sleep either, so the best I can do to entertain in the meantime is to tell a bad science joke:

Two hydrogen atoms were walking together when one of them stops and says, “Hold on, I think I lost an electron.”

The other asks, “Are you sure?”

The first replies, “I’m positive!”

…

THAT’S ALL I GOT, FOLKS.

Regular blogging will resume when Owl sleeps and Carol’s schedule becomes vaguely normalized again.

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