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A couple of months ago:
Perfect Husband: “Carol, why are there two waffles in the garbage?”
Me: “I made them and then realized we were out of butter.”
Perfect Husband: “So you THREW THEM AWAY?”
Me: “Yes.”
Perfect Husband: “Because waffles with syrup BUT NO BUTTER are inedible?”
Me: “Yep. The butter is a vital component of waffle eating.”
Perfect Husband: “How can you waste food like that?”
Me: “Would you eat something you didn’t want rather than just throw it away?”
Perfect Husband: “Yes!! I can’t just THROW FOOD AWAY.”
Me: “Why would I eat a high calorie fattening meal if I wouldn’t even enjoy it? Either way it’s a waste.”
Perfect Husband: “You and I are, in some ways, very different people.”
Yesterday:
Perfect Husband: “So, while you were at your friend’s house for dinner, I decided to eat hot dogs.”
Me: “Oh?”
Perfect Husband: “So I defrosted two hot dog buns. Then I took out the wieners, and I realized that they were two weeks expired. So I took out the OTHER wieners, and found that they were a month expired. So I took out the OTHER OTHER wieners, and they were TWO MONTHS expired.”
Me: “I’m sorry.”
Perfect Husband: “…So I THREW THE BUNS AWAY.”
Me: “…But why not just put the buns back?”
Perfect Husband: Because I’d already toasted them and put cheese on them.”
A moment of silence.
Perfect Husband: “…I HAVE BEEN HOISTED WITH MY OWN PETARD.”
Me: “I love you.”
If By Yes 
Amazing how perfect he is.
This is an example of why I don’t pick many fights – what comes around goes around. Although sometimes that backfires and then I just stew in my own juice for a while.
My biggest problem is that HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT. So every time we get into an argument about when a movie came out or who starred in what, the internet invariably proves me wrong.
Although we did have a minor disagreement the other day about when Schindler’s List was written, and while we were both off, I was closer. But by Price Is Right rules, we both lost that one.
I will have it noted that I even tried to eat the bun with green peppers as the stuffing.
And the green peppers were apparently expired too, which didn’t help.
And I still managed to eat half of one of the buns.
But still, yes. Petard. Hoisted.
We really need to keep stock of our fridge contents better.
Ha! For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t eat waffles without butter, either.
Good for you!
Do hot dogs REALLY go bad? I doubt it.
Oh yes. Oh yes they really really do. Once you’ve smelled a rotten hotdog, you’ll know.
PH also gets food poisoning at the drop of a hat, so he wouldn’t take chances.
Snort.
I, though, would have frozen the waffles until such time as they were needed. They warm up in the toaster perfectly.
See, though, I’d already toasted them, and toasting them twice doesn’t work, and microwaving them makes them soggy.
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