I’m very tired today. 

Owl had a bad night, and I think I got a grand total of three hours of sleep. As a result, I was especially dopey at work today.

It wasn’t a BAD day. I didn’t make any huge screw ups. The new vet is nice enough. But every little correction or direction he gives me hits me right in the self esteem.

He says:

“Can you just put the lube onto gauze first, instead of directly onto the thermometer? It’s more sterile.”

I hear:

“You’re filthy, stupid, and must have been trained by chimpanzees.”

He says:

“Can you remember to close that door when there’s a dog in there? The yapping noise drives me crazy.”

I hear: 

“You can’t even walk through a door right.”

Clearly,I still have a lot of anxiety around work.

I feel like everyone there sees me as incompetent. I have no idea whether that interpretation is accurate.

I have a lot to say about self perception and competance, but tonight is not that night.

All I can say is that it’s no doubt the tiredness talking, but…

I feel valueless.

A least where work is concerned.

I wish that I could just go to work and just get EVERYTHING completely and totally right, and come home feeling good about myself.