When I was a girl I wrote you a lot
with wish lists that I would compile great thought
believing and trusting that you would come through
with some of the stuff I requested from you.
I don’t think that readers will be shocked to hear
that some gifts were notably absent each year.
The ponies and power-wheels for which I would nag
clearly could not be tucked into your bag!
And no one could blame you, not even me
for failing to leave me a horse by the tree.
But now I am older and feeling more wise
So I will consider the issue of size!
My requests should cause you no trouble at all
for all of them are quite reasonably small:
I’m sure, as you know, I am only a tech,
so maybe you could please consider a check?
For the mortgage, assessment, vacations and such
a million or so would be fine: not too much.
And then, because, as you know, I do blog
but working and sleeping and the baby can hog
a lot of my time so more time would be great.
Or maybe just take some things off of my plate,
like some of the time that I spend on my whelp:
A baby who slept through the night would sure help.
If you can’t manage that, and you wish to atone,
I’d take wifi, a new hard drive, and a data plan for my phone.
Just one more thing I would ask for myself:
Perhaps you could spare me a single good elf?
He needn’t be burly, or much of a hunk
To tidy my house and to purge it of junk
That should be enough for Christmas this year
to fill my poor soul with the old Christmas cheer!