Owl is sick.

“With what? you ask.

NO IDEA.

On the first day, Daycare Lady called me in the afternoon because Owl was having green diarrhea. I picked him up and he was fine for the rest of the day, so she took him back the next day. I got another call. Now he had green diarrhea and a fever.

I took him to the pediatrician.

The verdict: A miscellaneous viral intestinal infection which could  last up to 14 DAYS. Prescription: Banana, rice, applesauce and toast.

Because, you know, Owl is nearly 15 months old and only 20 lbs, so a low fat diet is just what he needs.

Obviously he couldn’t go to daycare with an infection and diarrhea, so I had to keep him home Thursday and Friday.

Thursday I worked the morning because it was just babysitting an otherwise empty clinic. I dumped baby toys on the floor and spent the morning trying to prevent Owl from destroying anything.

Friday I stayed home entirely.

That’s a three half-days of work. We’s going to be PO’.

OH, and I didn’t tell you the best part. The pediatrician said Owl is “trying” to have an ear infection in his left ear. Apparently there’s some fluid and redness. But she didn’t want to give antibiotics because it isn’t an infection YET.

“If he wakes up in the middle of the night screaming with a high fever and vomiting, it’s the ear infection kicking in,” she told me cheerfully.

OH GOOD.

Such things to look forward to, being a parent.

By Saturday he had been diarrhea free for 36 hours, and was cheerful and happy. We were all like “yay! He can go back to daycare and we can get paid again!”

Cue the fever of 39.4 and the screaming. Oh my gawd, the screaming. All night, the screaming. It was like an evil sequel to his colic days.

Monday he was whiny, but the fever was down, so Daycare Lady agreed to take him. She had spoken with her brother, the pediatrician, and he had assurred her that Owl’s most contagious period had already passed, and the daycare kids were as exposed as they were going to get, anyway.

I was only scheduled for a half day, anyway.

So she took him.

When I picked him up, the fever was back, his ears were bright red, and he was NOT a happy camper.

So we spent the evening at the pediatrician’s office.

AGAIN.

Presenting complaint: fever since Sunday, red ears, no diarrhea, generally being a complete pill.

Verdict:

No idea what’s wrong.

His ears look the same. No worse.

Yes his nose is stuffy, but his throat is ok and his lungs are clear.

No, they still didn’t want to put him on antibiotics because his throat and lungs were clear.

Maybe it’s a urinary tract infection. Here, have a bag to stick over your baby’s junk. Take the pee to a lab and we’ll see.

Other than that, um… bring him back in 2 or 3 days if he still has a fever.

He had a fever this morning. His whining is so constant that it’s like a little motor of misery. He chases the cat across the room going “Mmmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmm Mmmmmmm” in the most pathetic way.

PH is staying home from work.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS KID?

Someone needs to fix this baby before we die of sleep deprivation, or before his whining liquefies our brains to the point where we start leaking from our ears.