PH here. And boy howdy if I’m not slightly pissed off.

After reading this blog post and realizing just how amazing I was on the marital rating scale, I must admit I was feeling quite the cock of the walk. Especially as I realized, “20 points for giving my wife sufficient marital congress! GO ME!”

And then I thought, “…Wait. I get 20 points for giving her good bow-chikka-bow-wow, but she only gets 10 points for rocking my world? These numbers seem to be reversed. *scratches chin in confusion*”

Followed by, “Well, she must get extra points somewhere else that I’m not taking into consideration.

“…or is she?”

So I crunched the numbers. And I’m sorry to say this, ladies, but you got a bum rap in this test.

The maximum number of demerits a man can get is 90. The maximum demerits for a woman? 102. A swing of 12 points is enough to move you more than halfway down a category.

Okay, so women can get more merits than men to make up for that difference, yes?


Assuming you have five children (because you get extra points for more children), the maximum merits a wife can earn is 125. For a childless couple, maximum merits is 100. That means that if you, as a woman, got all of the merits and all of the demerits, and you had five children, you’d score 23, making you a “failure”. If you were a childless couple, you’d score -2 – off the charts in negative territory. That’s how horrible you are, you nasty, nasty woman.

As for the men, the maximum merits a husband can earn is 161! (Assuming he takes his wife out on a date every night.) That means earning all of the merits and all of the demerits, a husband scores 71 – a very high “superior” score, just out of range of “very superior”. Even if the husband only takes his wife out once a week, his score is 41 – only one point away from “average”, and much better than the -2 the wife would get for a comparable answer set.

In order for a wife to get the same base assumption score that a husband gets, she would need to have 12 children. So, according to this author, it takes 12 kids to make a woman as important as a man.

Any less than that, and you are an inferior creation. Probably dirty, too.

So yeah – husbands, don’t let your heads get too swelled by this test. The game is rigged, and rigged hard.