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Monday is back to being my favourite day of the week.

You know why?

Well, perhaps you might guess that it’s because I have Mondays off, and that would be partially correct.

But the real tipping point is Canada’s Worst Driver, which is now airing new episodes again!

This is one of the best shows on TV. I frigging love it.

If you aren’t Canadian, you don’t understand. Allow me to try and explain.

Canada’s Worst Driver operates on a simple premise: Canadians submit their friend/wife/husband/mother/father/sibling/enemy as a candidate for the show. The show investigates, and they pick some of the absolute balls-out worst drivers they can find.

The people who go on Canada’s Worst Driver aren’t seeking prizes. There’s no cash award for being Canada’s Worst Driver. They go on because they want the TV time (I’ll be famous!) or simply to prove to the world that they are NOT that bad (often those are the ones who “win”…)

Usually, in a given season, you have the following types of bad driver:

  • The nervous wreck, who cries constantly, panics, and then does something really idiotic (usually a woman, but the winner of a recent season was a man who fell into this category)
  • The speed demon (usually a man who fancies himself to be an excellent driver who simply chooses not to follow stupid rules like speed limits, the yellow line, or not hitting other people)
  • The party animal (usually there are a couple of these of either gender: the person is just so busy chatting with their passengers/on their cell phone that they can’t be bothered to watch the road. These people usually laugh hysterically when they hit something).
  • The complete moron (Can be of either gender, means well, promises to follow instructions, and then fails spectacularly. Every. Single. Time).

Once selected, these candidates have their cars and licenses taken away and they are thrown into “driver rehabilitation”, where they are given driving classes followed by “driving challenges” while a tall, worried-looking Andrew Younghusband lectures them, and then narrates to us as they proceed to screw up.

He gets very specific about exactly HOW they are screwing up, and WHY they suck so much. Every episode a group of panelists vote for the person who is most rehabilitated, and that person gets to go home.

The last person standing is dubbed Canada’s Worst Driver. They get a trophy and a good helping of shame.

It’s awesome.

It is amazing how crazy/stupid some of these people are. For example, many of the drivers are astoundingly bad at identifying basic road signs, like Angelina in Season 5 who got ONE out of ten basic road signs, or Dale in Season 6, who, when shown this road sign:

went on a ramble claiming that it means that the road is going to turn, and there will be a dead end at the end of it.

A couple of times Andrew Younghusband has had to turn to the camera and say, “THESE ARE NOT ACTORS. WE CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE REAL, EITHER.”

If you have never watched the show, here’s a taste:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zz-A7PloD4s&feature=related]

There’s an American version of this show, but it sucks donkey balls for the following reasons:

1. It doesn’t have Andrew Younghusband.

2. It doesn’t try to rehabilitate the drivers.

3. It doesn’t point out all of the ways in which the drivers are terrible drivers.

4. It doesn’t explain how to drive properly, so that you can feel smug and say “I ALWAYS shoulder check when changing lanes”.

5. It doesn’t have Andrew Younghusband.

All it really does is steal some of the challenges from CWD, and then have Robosaurus eat the car of the person who failed the most challenges.

…Which is cool, I grant you.

CWD doesn’t have Robosaurus.

But it isn’t as SATISFYING.

No, it’s not the same.

But the important thing, is that CWD 7 is BACK ON THE AIR, and the third episode is tonight.

LOVELOVELOVE.

We don’t pay for cable, but if we did, it’d be worth it just to get CWD.

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