I’m sure you’re all dying to know how Babby’s first day at daycare went.
Because clearly, your lives all revolve around MY life.
Oh, the ego-centric bloggerverse.
Anyway, he was fine. That massive all-night sleep ended at 4:45 am, so he was already exhausted and drowsy when I dropped him at daycare. Daycare Lady had no problem putting him to sleep thanks to that.
Well, thanks to that… and the sleepy suit.
She told me that he gobbled an egg (he had already had bacon and eggs and toast at home that morning), and pita, and LAMB SHANK, and rice, and crackers…
“He’s a really good eater!”
So I hear.
“He likes to feed himself.”
Yes, yes he does. I didn’t use the word “Baby Led Weaning” in case she thought I was a nut job, but I did tell her that he had never had purees – that I had always just handed him stuff off of my plate, and he’d eat it. Which is true. (Never mind that for the first month or so, he would just suck on it, rather than eat it, so he didn’t really start solids until seven months old…)
Anyway, he played and she said he didn’t cry at all. When I cam in the door he signed “milk” at me (Daycare Lady also thinks it means “Mommy” because she said there were times when he made it during the day and had no interest in the milk she brought). He wasn’t overjoyed to see me, just “oh, hey, about time you showed up. Boob me, woman.”
After he’d nursed for a bit, he went back to crawling around while I talked to her, wrote checks and so on.
All of that was good. But I didn’t experience much relief because I was drowning in the horror of what I had seen when I had arrived to pick him up…
I arrived about fifteen minutes earlier than I had told her to expect me. I looked in the window and saw him playing near the door while snacking on some pita.
AND DORA THE EXPLORER WAS PLAYING ON THE TELEVISION SET.
*dramatic mus8c* Dum Dum DUM!
Most of you know, I think, that I’m a little weird about television. I hate it with a passion. HATE. IT.
I mean, yes, I do watch T.V. But never on my own, as a solitary activity. Wouldn’t occur to me (well, except for those first couple of months when Babby had me pinned to a chair all frigging day). We don’t consider cable worth paying money for.
I like certain TV shows – House M.D., Glee, Sex and the City, Friends, Dragon’s Den, Mythbusters, Canada’s Worst Driver… but I hate commercials. I like to watch things on DVD whenever possible.
And pediatricians agree that television is totally mind-rotting for under-twos. Especially children’s television! I would rather Babby watch the news than children’s programming.
I specifically chose this daycare because the lady said the kids didn’t watch tv. SO WHY WAS DORA THE EXPLORER CHATTERING INANELY AT MY CHILD?
To be fair, he wasn’t watching, or plunked in front of the set. But it was ON. He could be hypnotized by it at any moment.
I brought it up almost immediately, and the Daycare Lady said that it was unusual. She said that she hadn’t even had cable in the room until she went on vacation, when her stand-in who took over daycare insisted on it for her own children. I didn’t care about before. I cared about NOW. Would it be a regular thing? I was assurred not.
But how can I know? My trust in her feels shattered.
I realize that this sounds melodramatic, but this is important to me. I tried to make that clear to her.
It brought home to me that 5 days a week, now, I am not raising my child. Someone else is. I have no real control over how he is treated and what he is taught. I can make my preferences clear, but I can’t KNOW.
What if he is turned into a tv fiend? What if his first word is “Dora!” or worse *shudder* “Max” or “Ruby”?
I realize that all children get exposed to the culture of tv eventually, and I thought I was resigned. I said as much to The Corn Fed Girl on her post about Those Moms (since I am one).
But he’s 11 months old.
It feels so early to let go, to give up my influence to others, to let someone else decide what my baby with his tender developing brain is exposed to.
I cried myself to sleep.
What a helpless feeling! Ugh! I’m sorry!
Oh, I’m so sorry. If I were there, I’d hug you, and I’m not a huggy person. It’s not just the television, though in one way it is, but it’s also that she’s not following through on what she told you — and so soon! How could you not be dismayed?
That other realization, that you’re no longer totally in control of the raising of your son? It’s a hard one… but, if the people raising him with you are people you trust, then it becomes a good thing. More perspectives, more patterns, new people who love him — it’s all enriching to him.
Your gut told you she was a good choice. It’s probably still right. Be alert and aware, but try to be positive. But, oh, I wish this hadn’t happened!
I hope you’re right. She told me today that she’s going to disconnect the cable downstairs. But my trust is definitely wobbly… because words are just words…
Words are wind.
[This has been your random interjection for the day]
I agree, it’s the disconnect from what she said she was about, and what you are actually seeing. It just puts everything back to 0. I wouldn’t feel I could trust her that much, and that’s a horrible feeling.
TV is not for the little ones, I absolutely agree, and I’m sorry you had the thing you articulated decisively so obviously ignored. Also: Not a smart cookie: Mom doesn’t like TV, but TV is on at pick up time? at least it isn’t sneaky (weird positive message).
I did show up 15 minutes early, but she didn’t start guiltily when she saw me, so I there definitely wasn’t any sneak factor. But maybe she didn’t realize how strongly I felt about it, or had forgotten my preference?
This doesn’t seem as much like a TV issue as it does a trust issue.
It has to be the most helpless feeling in the world to put your very young child into the hands of someone else, especially since it seems that it was a decision you made out of necessity. I’m struggling with the looming task of having to go back to work myself, and although am looking forward to being an adult who functions in society (which I haven’t felt in a very long time), the last thing I want to do is put my kids in daycare. (Yes, I know people do it every day, but knowing that doesn’t help.) I’m sure it was the hardest thing ever to leave Babby with someone else that first day, and then to have her former “assurance” to you become basically meaningless…. ugh. I am a big one on trust. So I get that.
Ignore my bitchy rants. My PMS has gotten really bad lately and I had a friend emotionally cut me the day I posted that! I just needed to vent frustration so I picked on those “holier than thou” women, whom I do not group you with. It isn’t what they do with their own kids (which is their prerogative), it is where and how they chose to talk about it.
The only TV I put on for my 15 month old is Baby Einstein maybe once a week, which is still TV, but it is the kind that I feel okay about- you know,counting to five with hand puppets and music. The four year old often gets no TV throughout the day, but other times he gets a movie or two shows. But it is MY decision, and mine alone. I even have a hard time when my husband dictates the TV time (which I believe is too much and often inappropriate.) Letting go of your parental control is hard. I’m sorry you are having to deal with this.
I didn’t think your rant was bitchy 🙂
Oh, it was. But I felt purged, so I am justifying it with my need to cleanse myself of some unwanted garbage. I’m great at justifying myself….
P.S. One of Thing 1’s first words was “Ruby” (actually had said it “Booby”), but not because of that program. Ruby is Red Dog’s real name. 🙂
I would LOVE it if “Dog” was Babby’s first word. The dog has already proved to be the thing he can most reliably identify with a point when asked.
Your reaction is completely understandable! I hope you haven’t caught them repeating the same mistake. What a delicate situation! What to do? I guess go with your gut. It will not fail you. You have every right to feel suspicious. But maybe it was an innocent mistake…
Sorry, I had to add a positive note! My son’s been in daycare for a month and a half. At first, I was very critical, and suspicious, and cautious, and worried… then bit by bit, one day at a time, I got to know the caregivers better and trust soon established itself. I hope they gradually regain your trust!
Thank you, I hope so too!