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We have leftover Indian food, but are out of rice. I go into the kitchen to make some more.
Five minutes later, I come back out, looking defeated.
Me: “I screwed up. I can’t even make rice without screwing up.”
Perfect Husband: “…How do you screw up rice?”
Me: “I measured the rice into the cooker, but the container wasn’t in there, so I just poured rice right onto the element. I tried to dump it out, but it seems to have gotten down into the mechanism and I can’t shake it all out. I suck.”
Perfect Husband: “You don’t suck; you’re amazing! Everyone makes mistakes.”
Me: “but I can’t even make rice!”
Perfect Husband: “I’ll go look on the internet and see if what we should do. This probably happens all the time. What brand is it, Cuisinart?”
Five minutes later.
Perfect Husband goes to the kitchen, picks up the rice cooker and starts turning it around and shaking it. Grains of rice tumble out and get licked up by the dog. From the sound of it, there are a lot more grains of rice in there that aren’t coming out. The rice cooker sounds like a rain stick.
Me: “Did the internet tell you what to do?”
Perfect Husband: “…No. Apparently this has never happened in the history of ever.”
Me: “I CAN’T EVEN MAKE RICE.”
If By Yes 
If it makes you feel any better, I have a rice cooker and can’t figure out how to make rice with it. So I am (still!) cooking brown rice on the stovetop the old-fashioned way.
And I am a good cook. But I’m hopeless with gadgets.
My mother showed me how to use it when she visited last fall. Before that, it was sitting in a cupboard and we just never made rice!
Awesome. If it makes you feel any better, I was 25 before I made rice correctly for the first time. I couldn’t figure out why it never turned out – then my former MIL told me you’re not supposed to lift the lid of the pot while the rice is cooking. I still can’t figure out how in the hell you’re supposed to stir it if you can’t lift the lid, but whatever.
I figure a rice cooker is still easier than in a pot, for that reason!
I cannot cook rice.
At all. Ever.
I can follow the directions exactly on the bag and I will always burn or boil it over. Thankfully I have a husband who knows how to cook rice 🙂
What would we do without husbands who cook?
I make my rice on the stovetop, too. Sorry about your misadventure with the rice cooker. I think it’s a sign that you’re meant to make something sexier and more important than rice. That must be it. Rice is beneath you. Really.
That must be it!
I have almost done that exact thing myself. Clearly your story is needed on the internet to let these people know they aren’t alone.
(also, I have awarded you an award for being award-worthy. This is your Very Official Notification)
Wow, even though I can’t make rice!
Oh my goodness…that sounds like something I would do!!
Feel free to try it :-p
that was a funny story. good thing rice cookers are cheap.
Amen. We ended up trying it, rice and all, and it worked ok. I’m so going to burn this house down…
If it’s any consolation, I’m also incapable of making rice. Solidarity!
Who needs rice, right?
you know a pot would work too:)
I’d probably end up deep frying it by mistake.
Happy ICLW!
I laughed out loud when I read you post…it sounds like something I would do!!
I can’t believe there was nothing on the internet about it! I am shocked that Google could not deliver you any advice!!
Google failed me. *weeps alone*
Google provided me with a picture of Hitler with a nice set of boobs (long story), and all I had to type was “Hitler boobs”. Did Google fail you, Carol, or did *you* fail Google?
A little bit from column A, a little bit from column B…
I can never make rice that is good. Ever. And it’s not one specific problem; sometimes it is soggy and other times it burns.
Millions of people around the world subsist on its simple recipe, and I screw it up every time.
I told my mother I never make rice, and she was like “but it’s so easy!”
Here from ICLW. Hee. This sounds like something that would happen to me.
I do these things so others don’t have to!
Thanks for stopping by my blog! I’ve had those bad cooking days. that’s when i make DH head chef.
Happy ICLW
This totally sounds like something I would do. Rice seems so simple to make, but it’s totally not. Which is why I rarely make it!
That sounds like something I would do. But, I’d also probably pour in a can of tomato soup and then cheeZe slices before realizing the pot wasn’t in the cooker….
I’d rather a burnt house than that smell ever again! 😉
Hey! That was a very unique meal!
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