We have leftover Indian food, but are out of rice. I go into the kitchen to make some more.
Five minutes later, I come back out, looking defeated.
Me: “I screwed up. I can’t even make rice without screwing up.”
Perfect Husband: “…How do you screw up rice?”
Me: “I measured the rice into the cooker, but the container wasn’t in there, so I just poured rice right onto the element. I tried to dump it out, but it seems to have gotten down into the mechanism and I can’t shake it all out. I suck.”
Perfect Husband: “You don’t suck; you’re amazing! Everyone makes mistakes.”
Me: “but I can’t even make rice!”
Perfect Husband: “I’ll go look on the internet and see if what we should do. This probably happens all the time. What brand is it, Cuisinart?”
Five minutes later.
Perfect Husband goes to the kitchen, picks up the rice cooker and starts turning it around and shaking it. Grains of rice tumble out and get licked up by the dog. From the sound of it, there are a lot more grains of rice in there that aren’t coming out. The rice cooker sounds like a rain stick.
Me: “Did the internet tell you what to do?”
Perfect Husband: “…No. Apparently this has never happened in the history of ever.”
Me: “I CAN’T EVEN MAKE RICE.”