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Perfect Husband: “Gas is a dollar freaking thirty six a litre. We’re never gassing up again.”

Me: “Argh! We should just, like TAKE OVER the Middle East. Forget the peacekeeping stuff.”

Perfect Husband: “Ha!” *mimes talking into a phone* “…I’m sorry, you’re being invaded by who?!”

Me: “They’d never see it coming.”

Perfect Husband: *still talking into the imaginary phone* “No, no, it’s okay. Just give them some beer and doughnuts, and they’ll go away.”

Me: “Damn. That’s true.”