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~ the musings of a left wing left hander with two left feet

If By Yes

Monthly Archives: November 2010

Thanks, I think… Part II.

30 Tuesday Nov 2010

Posted by IfByYes in I'm Sure This Happens To Everyone..., We Are Family

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

emails, in-laws, parents

My lovable FIL is sometimes given to cryptic messages. His most recent one was sent to Perfect Husband via email, along with a photo of Babby on his walk through the snow.

His message?

I am hoping that you truly realize that you have a major duty to keep this lovely child very good natured for his first few years because his intelligence is so obvious. We want it to be a loving, gentle intelligence.

We’re trying to appreciate the sentiment with which it was intended, and ignore the subtle hint that he’s worried our baby may grow up to be Hitler if we aren’t careful.

We must use this baby for good and not evil...

Slow but steady is not winning this race.

30 Tuesday Nov 2010

Posted by IfByYes in How is Babby Formed?

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

babies, percentile, vaccinations, weight gain

Today was vaccination day. Now, for some reason, Babby had to be vaccinated at the public health office instead of the doctor’s office. Apparently it’s passée for a doctor to give vaccines. Public health nurses have to do it. But it gave me a good chance to weigh him and see how his weight is coming along. The GP said she wants him to gain a kilogram this month, so by December 8th he is supposed to hit 5.9 kg. I don’t think it’s going to happen. He weighed in at 5.3 kg this afternoon. He has gained under a pound in the last three weeks.

Updated weight chart:

He is now below the 15th percentile.

At least he’s maintaining a straight line – his gain is steady, if slow. Maybe this is just his natural state, but I’m inclined to connect it to the copious spit-ups (I mean, if he spits up whole meals on a regular basis, wouldn’t that affect his weight gain?) and the screaming.

The bright side is that I’m so used to his blood curdling shrieks that the vaccinations didn’t faze me at all. Sure, he screamed like his limbs were being sawed off, until he ran out of air and was just sitting on my lap with his face bright red and his mouth wide in a silent wail… but he did the exact same thing last night, and the night before that (sometimes right out of a sound sleep) so I didn’t bat an eyelash. Just chuckled and kissed him and offered him booba, like I always do.

…

…

I am so using the weight gain thing as an excuse to beg a referral to a pediatrician.

In and Out

29 Monday Nov 2010

Posted by IfByYes in How is Babby Formed?

≈ 3 Comments

The screaming is coming back. There are logical problem posed by medicating a baby who spits up regularly. If he barfs up shortly after dosing him, should we dose him again? If so, what is the cut off? Within ten minutes? Within twenty? Within half an hour? Within an hour?

He has had his evening dose… and he still screams if I try to lay him down.

Weigh-in and vaccinations Monday…

A Different Kind of Scrooge.

26 Friday Nov 2010

Posted by IfByYes in Life and Love

≈ 36 Comments

Tags

Christmas, life, love, Scrooge, tradition

A friend of mine hates Christmas. She openly admits to being a “Scrooge”.

(As a side note, doesn’t it seem sad that Ebenezer Scrooge, who was as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man as any man in the good old world, is remembered for his previous miserly state?)

While I respect her grinchiness and have chosen not to berate her with “What’s WRONG with you?”s, I find such a position baffling.

I am such a Christmas-lover. If it were up to me, we would keep festive lights and traditional songs on the radio all year long. I love the cold weather. I love the snow. I love listening to Karen Carpenter sing Ave Maria. I love listening to Eric Cartman sing Oh Holy Night. I love the way the cold, barren city lights up and warms the night with a million twinkling lights. I hate LED Christmas lights, which don’t twinkle and don’t even seem to cast any light. They make the night look darker.

Christmas creates the illusion of a caring and generous universe. It fills me with goodwill for mankind and a faith in others which I can’t always maintain in other parts of the year.

Once, years ago, Christmas shopping in Halifax, I lost my boyfriend’s wallet. I don’t remember the exact circumstances. Maybe he gave it to me to hold, or asked me to put it in my purse. Or maybe he lost it himself and I remember guilt for no reason. Anyway, I remember how upset he was, and he was going to call and cancel his cards, but instead I called the store and asked if anyone had turned in a wallet. My boyfriend thought that was pointless – at Christmas, someone would jump at the chance for some cash and credit cards. But I was sure that at Christmas, no one would steal someone’s money. So I called anyway. Yes, someone had brought one in from the parking lot. We drove back and picked up the wallet, cash and all, and I felt vindicated in my faith in humankind.

I can’t keep up that faith year round. I am constantly in despair of mankind’s stupidity, selfishness, and shortsightedness. I do believe that most people are basically good when they take the time to think about the other person’s point of view. I also believe that most people are too stupid to do so and that this is why the world is in such a mess. But Christmas really emphasizes that thinking-of-others thing, and so, when Christmas comes, I believe that people are good.

I love getting gifts for people. I wish I had millions of dollars so I could buy the perfect present for everyone I know. Instead I restrict myself. I don’t want to bankrupt myself and it’s hard to find the perfect present for under twenty or thirty dollars. But boy, just you wait until Babby is old enough to understand Christmas. One friend of mine told me that she believed in Santa Claus for years because her family was so poor but they saved so well for Christmas that Santa always brought them their heart’s desire. That’s what I want to do, too.

Mostly, though, I just love tradition.

Every Christmas for as long as I can remember, my parents have trimmed the tree in early to mid December. Mum and I do most of the work, while Dad sips egg nog, and then he fusses if the tinsel icicles aren’t hung perfectly straight, so he gets out of his chair and neurotically straightens every one. Our tree always looks like something out of a catalogue. Every night from then on, we sit in the evenings and stare at the tree while Christmas music plays and a fire crackles merrily. My parents read, and sip egg nog, and every now and then one of them looks up and sighs and says, “what a pretty tree.”

Christmas Eve, my mother will often read out loud from A Christmas Carol, and/or we’ll watch the Alistair Sim version on DVD. We will attend midnight mass and end it by singing Silent Night in a darkened church with a tapered candle burning in every hand.

My high school friends found themselves charmed by my parents’ story-book approach to the festive season, and one by one they began attending our annual tree trimming. We went to different universities, but every year we would come together for the tree trimming. My friends would sometimes arrive with their boyfriends. My goddaughter would attend as a baby, then as a toddler, then as a young child. My friends would sip my father’s egg-nog (which is always poured with a liberal hand), and hang my family’s decorations and then hang icicles that my father would then straighten. Then we would all sit around and listen to Bing Crosby and sip egg nog and every now and then, someone would sigh “what a pretty tree!”

No, I can’t understand hating Christmas. The warmth and the light and the love and the giving and feasting and the fairy tales make Christmastime my favourite time of year. I wish that, like Scrooge, I could keep Christmas in my heart all year round. I certainly try to do so.

My rule has always been to decorate the house either December 1st, or the first snowfall. Whichever comes first. It snowed last week in Vancouver.

It’s CHRISTMAS TIME.

Christmas in Nova Scotia

Proud Parents + 10 week old Baby ≠ Reality

23 Tuesday Nov 2010

Posted by IfByYes in How is Babby Formed?, Life's Little Moments, Perfect Husband

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

babbling, babies, proud parents, speech

*Perfect Husband and I are hanging over Babby and worshipping him in a manner which would make the Christ Child seem neglected.*

Me: “Can you say ah-goo? Say ah-goo for us again!”

Babby: “Gooo!”

Perfect Husband: “Yes! Gooo!”

Babby: “Arr! Roooooooo. Waw?”

Me: “Clever baby! Mommy loves Babby!”

Babby: “Aye Laaaa! Wah. Rooooo?”

PH and Me in unison: “Awww, he said “I love you”!!!!!”

Kid’s Got Dignity

21 Sunday Nov 2010

Posted by IfByYes in How is Babby Formed?, Life's Little Moments

≈ 8 Comments

Babby’s first walk in the snow…

…in public, in a hat with animal ears on it.

Making a Pregnant Lady’s Day

19 Friday Nov 2010

Posted by IfByYes in How is Babby Formed?, Life and Love

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

babies, pregnancy

I was standing in line at the food court when I caught the eye of a tall Asian lady, eyeing my baby.

“I’m sorry, I just have to tell you,” she said, “Your baby is so adorable. I’m pregnant myself…”

Ah, I thought, she’s eyeing her potential future.

“Congratulations!” I said, “is this your first?” but I knew that it was and wasn’t surprised when she nodded. She wouldn’t be mooning over Babby if she had her own babby at home. We smiled at each other, and she stared at Babby, who goggled right back at her with his wide eyes.

“Gah!” he said. “Er! Aaaah?”

She smiled at him, looked at me, and smiled some more. I could see her brain working, and I remembered being pregnant, and looking at people with new babies, and the things I wanted to ask them but didn’t… and I remembered the unwanted advice and useless warnings people love to throw at pregnant women.

“If anyone tells you to sleep while you still can, bop them in the nose,” I said to her abruptly.

She laughed. “People are always telling me that! They say I’ll never sleep again…”

“Doesn’t matter. You can’t store up sleep in a jar for when you need it, so it’s completely useless advice. You’ll be sleep deprived when the baby is born no matter what you do before hand.”

“That’s what I keep thinking,” she said.

There was a pause.

“It’s so much fun,” I said out of the blue. A look of relief spread over her face.

“Really?”

“Yes. Don’t let people scare you. People kept telling me how awful it would be, but it really isn’t. I mean, he’s been awful. He has reflux, he screams all the time, he doesn’t sleep, he’s never done eating, and he’s not gaining weight as quickly as he should be, so I’m worried about him. But… it’s still SO. MUCH. FUN.”

“That is SO nice to hear,” she told me, looking at Babby again with excited joy.

My food order was up, so I picked it up.

“It was nice talking to you,” I said.

“It was very nice to meet you,”  she gushed, adding, “your baby’s asleep.”

And you know? He was.

"Hi Boob Lady! Let's Party!"

Brief update

16 Tuesday Nov 2010

Posted by IfByYes in How is Babby Formed?

≈ 17 Comments

So, Babby has gained 180 grams this past week, which is an improvement, but the doc would rather he be gaining 250 g per week. She says that if he hasn’t gained a total of one kilogram between the two and three month marks, he needs to come in again and she will refer him to a paediatric specialist. She also increased his Zantac dose.

We’ll let you know how that pans out…

In other news, he can roll himself from his back to his side and is working heavily on trying to complete the roll. He also thinks that kicking at a rattle hanging on his infant seat is hilarious.

"I kicked the rattle!!!"

This May Be Good. I’m Not Sure

13 Saturday Nov 2010

Posted by IfByYes in How is Babby Formed?

≈ 12 Comments

You’re all probably wondering how it’s going…

I wish I could tell you!

I honestly have no idea.

For example, for two nights running after the start of the Zantac Bebby slept through the night. However, for the last two nights he has only slept until 4:30 or so. Which is still good, but not quite as impressive. Also, his behaviour during the day isn’t magically improved. For the first couple of days, he was about the same as usual – his middle of the road personality; not terrible, but not angelic.  Then, on Wednesday, we had a nightmare of a day.

Wednesday is my day for my Post Partum Depression CBT group, and so I get the car from PH and use it to run other errands. Babby is usually fairly manageable on Wednesdays. He sleeps well in the mornings, so he usually dozes through much of the PPD group. He also likes going for walks in the Sleepy Wrap, and my excursions tend to exhaust him so that he sleeps well in the car between errands.

Not this Wednesday.

The people at the PPD group noticed that he was unusually alert and well behaved (they have seen him alert and ill-behaved, or asleep and well behaved, but alert and quiet was new for them). However, by noon he was getting fussy. When I stopped at the vet to get pet food, he protested irritably the whole time while the receptionists cooed over him (it was their first time seeing me since I had had the baby).

When we went to the mall to print out some photos of him to send to PH’s aging relations, I had to go in and out of London Drugs three different times. The first time he started to fuss, so I left and changed his diaper. I returned, sat down at the kiosk, and he started to fuss again. I cancelled the order, went back out, sat down on a bench and nursed him for twenty minutes. He dozed off on the breast and sleepily submitted to being returned to the Sleepy Wrap. I went back in to London Drugs, sat down AGAIN… and he woke up and started to fuss again.

So I made the order anyway, shushing and rocking like an autistic child the whole time as he continued to protest in my ear.

Anyway, while I waited for the order to process I went to get a very late lunch (it was nearly three).

Babby slept through lunch (trying to eat a hotdog without dripping ketchup on his sleeping head was an interesting challenge) but when I returned to London Drugs to pick up the pictures, he woke up and started to howl. I waited in line, giving apologetic looks to the people around me, and they brought out an extra cashier to attend to me faster so I would go the hell away.

Then, that night, after picking PH up at work, he began screaming again, this time in the middle of a traffic jam. We pulled out at the next highway exit and I ended up feeding him and changing his diaper in a dark Safeway parking lot.

It must have been there that my wallet fell out.

I made the half-hour trip back to that parking lot later that night, but we never did find my wallet. I’ve never lost my wallet before, and after a dayfull of trying to soothe Babby’s screams, this was an unpleasant last straw. It was not a great day, and didn’t speak well for the Zantac’s magic powers.

But then there are days like today. He was a pleasant angel today. He spent most of the day either eating or dozing at my breast, with occasional periods of happy, smiling alertness and sporadic fussiness which was usually solved by a diaper change or more booba. This may or may not be related to my giving him an extra, illicit dose of Zantac midway through the day (he’s supposed to only get it every 12 hours). It might also be completely unrelated, since we did the same thing yesterday and he was somewhat fussy yesterday.

I wonder how long he’ll sleep tonight?

Sleep, Babby, Sleep

Well, that was dramatic

09 Tuesday Nov 2010

Posted by IfByYes in How is Babby Formed?

≈ 11 Comments

It’s awfully early to be drawing conclusions, and it may have been a massive coincidence, but last night we gave Babby Zantac… and he slept from 11:30 pm until seven in the freaking morning.

This is the longest sleep since the freakish six hour incident a couple of weeks ago. He has hit five hours once or twice, but most nights it has been the usual every-two-hours thing.

So maybe this is another freak sleep.

Or maybe the Zantac is magic.

Too bad he sobs broken heartedly whenever I give it to him.

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