“WHAT is up with your weight?” the nurse said when she came into the exam room yesterday. It was my 39 week appointment and the OB had had to run out to an emergency c-section, so I was just seeing the nurse instead of the OB.
“I don’t know!” I wailed.
“You were coming along totally normally until a few weeks ago. Then you shot up six pounds, up five more, down six, and now you’re up six again. Have you been doing anything lately?”
“No… I think it’s water weight. Dr. Hazy said I have a lot of edema.”
“Your blood pressure is fine, though…” she pondered. She put me on the table, measured the baby, and poked me a bit.
“Well, your baby is taking up a lot of room, but he’s not unusually large or anything. Your uterus is measuring right within expected limits. Your ankles ARE swollen, but I’ve seen way worse. I guess the swelling does go up your legs, too…”
“It’s all over,” I whined. “I haven’t been able to wear my rings for months. My watch digs in – look – I couldn’t wear a pair of shoes that used to be way too big for me, and even my maternity pants are too tight. But I can’t be gaining and losing six pounds of fat a week apart from each other, can I?”
“No, and it’s not the baby. Oh well, as long as your blood pressure is fine…”
I don’t feel “oh well” about it. I don’t mind the big belly. I really don’t. I was ready for that. Even the ankle swelling I was prepared for. But guys, I am SO FAT all over. I hate pictures of myself. I hate that I hate pictures of myself, because I’ve looked forward to beautiful pregnancy photos my whole life. But my face looks fat. My Wii Fit Plus thinks I’m OBESE. I look at pictures and I don’t see a glowing pregnant lady. I see a FAT lady who also happens to be pregnant. The rolls of fat, or fluid or whatever that is around my face and neck squeeze me at night.
If the last crazy weight fluctuations ARE all water, that’s 13 pounds of water weight I’m carrying around on top of forty odd pounds of fat, placenta, baby and blood volume. I’m afraid that I’ll hate photos of myself forever, that I’ll have this baby and still be told that I’m obese.
Picture progression:
Three months
Four months
five months
six months
eight months
Now
Anyway, it’s really starting to hit Perfect Husband that we’re going to be parents in just a week or two. Maybe it is the actual imminence of the birth itself, or maybe it’s the fact that a recent cooling in temperatures has enabled me to actually be useful so I set up shelving in the nursery and folded and laid out all the baby clothes. We don’t have any furniture for the baby’s room yet, because we can’t afford any, so I set up the change pad and the cloth diapers on the dresser in our bedroom. So now it’s beginning to look like we’re actually expecting a baby.
So Monday, PH kicked into gear. We stopped at Shoppers and bought cotton balls and baby wipes. We packed a hospital bag (although it’s missing certain things, like a nursing bra, because I haven’t been able to afford a new bra that doesn’t leave deep red lines in my skin yet. Payday is Thursday). We even installed the car seat in the car, something I’ve been itching to do since we brought it home from my friends’ garage sale a couple of months ago.
So by the end of yesterday, I was feeling much better. But Perfect Husband was like “HOLY CRAP WE’RE HAVING A BABY.”
I’m feeling that too, but I’ve been feeling that for a really long time, so I’m just grateful for things like a place to change the baby, a place to put the baby, a way to bring the baby home, etc.
Those have really been my biggest stressors. Having a person wiggling inside you really kind of makes the ticking clock obvious.
Not having a bassinet was driving me crazy, so last Monday I insisted that we go to Toys R Us and buy the moses basket and stand that I had registered for on my totally-untouched baby registry. They were out of stands, but at least I had the basket. I mentioned it on Facebook and immediately got bombarded by people saying “I was JUST ABOUT to buy you THAT EXACT THING, why you gotta be like that?”
So I was all like “I’m SORRY, okay? But I’m kind of running out of time. The baby is FULL TERM here, people, and I had nowhere for it to sleep.”
So I promised one of the people that she could buy me the stand, and regretted that I had doubted my friends’ plans to give me things before the baby arrived. I chided myself for spending money that didn’t have to be spent out of panic, when waiting two days would have delivered the thing I needed to my door.
That was a week ago.
No sign of a stand yet, or anything else for that matter. I’m glad I got that moses basket, or I’d be FREAKING OUT right now.
PH asked if we should go buy the stand, but I said no because I’d promised this friend that she could get it for me, since I had robbed her of her chance to give me a moses basket. So we just have to wait, and hope it arrives before Babby does. At least that’s not the end of the world. Worst case scenario we can keep the basket between us on the bed at night for a bit until the stand shows up. The important thing is that we have a changing pad, diapers, car seat, a moses basket, and some handmedown clothes/diaper covers/baby carriers. Nothing else matters.
That’s what I’m telling myself.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
If By Yes 
Heh, I saw your Facebook status that said you were pregnant and cranky. Then I read this and laughed my head off (in a very gentle and supportive way, of course) because you are TOTALLY in the last stages, and it’s very funny when it’s not happening to me. 🙂
I also read the moses basket / stand debacle. Here’s the thing – the stand is a fairly significant item. Just ask the friend, straight up and off FB, if she is going to buy it – and if so, when. It’s allowed in cases like this. I bought big things for both of my siblings when they had babies (bassinette in one case, carseat in another) and I told them ahead of time what I was getting them so they knew they could cross those off their list.
I’m going to tell you though, you probably won’t get many things you need. Most people will ignore the baby registry and instead get you cute little onesies or toys. Consider yourself warned.
(Incidentally, if you’ve put the nursery in order and are starting to stress about having the house ready, congratulations! You’re totally nesting and babby will be here soon.)
A sympathetic laugh is actually exactly what I need right now.
“Nursery in order” is a bit of a misleading expression. The nursery currently has a futon in the centre of the room which is piled with stuff, like the moses basket, some stuffed animals that are inappropriate for small children but we haven’t found a place for yet, boxes of stuff mailed to me from people like Kerry and Maeghan, etc.
The floor is covered with cans of paint, balled up plastic sheets that used to protect the floor from said paint, paint trays and paint rollers. There is a step stool under the window. But dang it, there is a wooden shelf in the closet and the baby clothes are folded!
As for the registry – yah, I’m noticing. My baby shower yielded the diaper change pad (thankfully), a baby clothes set, a rattle, and a lovely cross stitch. All lovely gifts, but only one of which was actually really necessary. My friends from work and the many volunteers related thereto are throwing me a baby-greeting party a week or two after the baby is born, and I’m sure they’ll all bring cute onesies and such. But that sure doesn’t help right now with the lack of furniture. *sigh* Mothers in Africa don’t have cribs or dressers or gliding rockers either. These are such first world problems…
It’s funny though, isn’t it? You get married and everyone’s like “where are you registered?” and falling all over themselves to buy you useless china and giving you bowls. You have a child, which actually comes with material needs, and you’re lucky if you get a gift at all. Our society is bizarre. Thank GOD for handmedowns, or I’d be so screwed right now. People have been touchingly generous with those.
The biggest-ticket items for us – crib, stroller w/baby pod – were actually given to us by friends who had a baby a year before we did. We bought them the crib & mattress, when they moved up north a year later we got the crib back, plus the all-in-one stroller. Otherwise, we’d have been buying those things ourselves.
I bought a glider rocker at the superstore for $90. It was crap and when I got pregnant the second time I was determined not to ever sit on it again. So, I approached my family and said “everyone give me money for Christmas this year – I’m spending it on a glider rocker I’ve picked out”. And lo, the rocker was forthcoming.
I never had a wedding registry, or a baby registry. Things I really needed eventually came our way – whether from us buying them, or borrowing them, or getting them as last-minute gifts. Kerry’s right – boobs, diapers, and a place to sleep is really and truly all you need, at this stage.
And that’s about what I’ve got!
My mother keeps saying “you should get your gliding rocker NOW, because if you rock in it before the baby’s born, it’ll feel familiar to him and help him calm down after he is born” and I’m all like “Yes, but I don’t have any money!” I have the rocker and the dresser on a registry too, but again, no one’s biting.
However, I’m just being bitter today. The bright side is we received a crapload of money from my cousins, which paid off the expenses of paint and baseboards. That’s huge. PH emailed them back and was like “good God, let us know if we can ever give YOU anything, like an alibi or a kidney…”
The funny thing is, when we got married we had a really minimal registry. Wedding registries always felt very greedy/capitalist/money grabby to me, so we registered for a few things we really needed, and asked people for money towards the honeymoon. Anything people decided to give was wonderful, and I didn’t feel like they HAD to get me anything.
But now I’m all like “bwah, I decided to procreate so people OWE ME THINGS.”
What’s WRONG with me?? I’m thoroughly ashamed of myself.
“It’s funny though, isn’t it? You get married and everyone’s like “where are you registered?” and falling all over themselves to buy you useless china and giving you bowls. You have a child, which actually comes with material needs, and you’re lucky if you get a gift at all. Our society is bizarre. Thank GOD for handmedowns, or I’d be so screwed right now. People have been touchingly generous with those.”
Sing it, sister. What the heck is up with that?? I got so impatient with everyone during my first pregnancy that I ended up buying EVERYTHING — right down to receiving blankets, burb cloths, and washcloths — that I thought I needed at least a month before he arrived ’cause I “had to be ready”. In the end, though, all you really need are some clothes, some diapers, some blankets, and your boobs.
It will be okay. 🙂
Glad I’m not the only impatient one!
I keep wavering between being grateful for how much used stuff we have been given, and feeling ticked off and entitled that I haven’t been given EVERYTHING.
What a cute blog. Congrats to you and your husband. I’m 36 weeks and I completely understand what your going through. Adding as much as I could to my baby registry really took some of the stress off us. We were able to get such great things!
Thanks, but we have stuff on our baby registry. People just haven’t touched it. Maybe no one loves us 😦
thinking of you and so excited to *meet* this little (big) one!
im blaming the baby!!
xoxo
lis
I cannot believe that you have not been positively dumped upon with gifts for your first baby.
I was exactly like you with our first, broke, had no where for the baby to sleep, and the kid was doing the river dance on my cervix trying to get out. My mom kept saying, “don’t buy anything, you’re going to get gobs of presents for your shower.” And I was all like “BUT MY KID WILL BE NAKED AND HAVE NO WHERE TO SLEEP AT THIS RATE”.
But she was right, holy crap it was intense the amount of things we got. I had bought things in panic that I never should have bought cause I got the very same types of things at my shower.
Maybe people are waiting till kiddo shows up to give you presents? Which is cool, but they must not realize the sheer frantic need that a pregnant, nesting, soon to be mommy has to ensure that “everything is in place”.
Email me, I’m going to make you something once we get back home and things are normal again.
I know, it’s funny. New stuff is just not forthcoming. My best friend sent me a big box o stuff when I was three months along, which was awesome. I got four presents at my shower. But that’s it.
However, I HAVE been showered with handmedowns. I’ve been given an exersaucer, a high chair, a breast pump, three boxes of clothes, a car seat and a bunch of other things. I’m touched by people’s generosity in that department, at least!
a new baby is coming
another beautiful being
🙂
Look for the local clothing/toy/furniture sales. Most mom groups will host them in Sep and March and I have been buying my kids’ wardrobes at them for over 10 years.
Nesting is difficult. People forget how anxious a mom to be can be. Take care!
I’ll keep an eye out for them!
I am totally screwed if we ever procreate. Our shiny new scale has now confirmed that I really am gaining and losing five pounds within the span of a few days. …And that apparently NONE of it is water. WTF?? Sorry you’re dealing with bizarre and random body changes. Hopefully once this is past (which it will be soon!), the whole thing will just become one of those cool stories to tell. “Hey, remember when I gained water weight all over and my body exploded? Yeah…that sucked.” Okay, so maybe it will be one of those stories that is quickly forgotten. Either way, I’m sure it won’t be nearly so bad after the fact.
We went the mostly cash-for-honeymoon route for our wedding. We made a registry too, but only one person bought anything off it. In addition, we got a couple of amazingly thoughtful gifts, and many many things that were probably expensive and totally not our taste. At least hopefully if we have a baby nobody will try to give us giant crystal things. Or paintings of old ladies with umbrellas. …I’m expecting too much, aren’t I? I am totally receiving a giant crystal sculpture of an old lady with an umbrella for the baby’s room.
Forget the dresser. How are you supposed to have a baby without one of those??
LOL it’s true – at least what gifts I have been given have at least been vaguely baby related.
You pregnant pretty lady, worry less. Babby will be here before you know it (maybe before Holly’s babbes based on this entry!).
Did I tell you that when T’ea was born we only had 2 friends, and our family were all painfully far away. I gave birth to her brought her home and she slept in a wicker laundry basket that I painstakingly sewed an eyeleted, quilted liner/pillow/skirt on. We put it on the floor next to our bed, and I could comfortably rest my hand on her chest and feel her breathing — I slept well this way as did she. It was perfect, and you’ve met her…she’s amazingly well adjusted for one who was deprived of the basic “necessities” and yet I get the nesting instinct.
I will come all day Saturday and help you clean and organize the house and nursery if you’re free (and not pushing a watermelon out of you know where…if you’re gonna be screaming tell me where the key is and I’ll do it while I fuss over Odin).
Feel the love and worry little…. it will be good.
Nursery looking much better now, and guess what – MY MOMMY ARRIVES TODAY!
Weird hormonal worryings all gone.
For now.
Stupid hormones.