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Perfect Husband: *bursts into the bedroom* “Oh, you’re here. ”
Me: “Yeah… did you think I wasn’t?”
Perfect Husband: “Did… you know that the bathroom door is shut tight? And the light is on?”
Me: “No… that’s… really weird.”
Perfect Husband: “I’ve been standing outside it for ten minutes going ‘Carol? CAROL?? Are you okay???'”
Me: “I was here. I sorry. Why is the bathroom door closed??”
Perfect Husband: “I have no idea.”
Me: “Maybe a burglar got caught short.”
*We go down the hall and stare at the closed door, and the light shining out from the space between the door and the floor. PH turns the doorknob carefully and pushes the door ajar. The door swings open. There is no one inside. Not even the cat.*
Me: “Well that was anticlimactic.”
*half an hour later*
Me: *emerging from the bathroom* “Love, I think the toilet is leaking. There’s a pool of water gathered around the base.”
Perfect Husband: *goes in to inspect/clean up* “Uh… it’s urine.”
Me: “Huh… that’s got to be, like, the first time I’ve ever known you to miss.”
Perfect Husband: “I never miss. How can anyone miss a target that big? It must have been you.”
Me: “How can a girl miss?”
Perfect Husband: “Love… you’re pregnant… your bits are being pushed around in weird ways… maybe angles have changed.”
Me: “I have to hunch forward slightly in order to pee at all. There’s no way it was me.”
Perfect Husband: “But if it were me, there would be a splatter pattern, not a collected pool. And I’d notice splattering everywhere.”
*we look at each other suspiciously for a while.*
Me: “Maybe we have a ghost. It went into the bathroom, closed the door, turned on the light, peed, and missed.”
Perfect Husband: “Well, that makes sense. I know if I were a ghost I wouldn’t want anyone watching my ethereal pee.”
If By Yes 
Hee hee.
I blame Loki. With a name like that, one must come to expect blame. He went into the bathroom and the door accidentally shut behind him. Being trapped away from the litterbox, he couldn`t eventually couldn`t hold it anymore and peed on the toilet. In his explorations, he somehow flipped the lightswitch. Then he remembered that he is a cat and there is NOTHING a cat can`t get into or out of, so he squeezed under the door to freedom.
Or not.
Perhaps another wandering real estate agent, with a bladder problem this time?
LOL either is a reasonable possibility.
Strange. I found a puddle of mysterious liquid on my living room floor this morning. It didn’t smell like pee, but it was yellow. And I was actually in the livingroom last night, and I didn’t hear any cats barfing or anything. Maybe your ghost travelled across the country and peed in my living room, and because it’s ghost pee it doesn’t smell like anything? Or perhaps there’s a whole sub category of peeing ghosts…
The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pee Ghosts…
Sounds like I had better be on the lookout for ghost pee… 😉
He can’t be too perfect if he’s blaming his pregnant wife for the urine on the floor. A PERFECT guy would quickly assume the guilt, even if he secretly knows it’s you. I mean, you’re GESTATING. You cannot be expected to be 100% on target!
Not that I think it was you! No, no, no…
ahem.
LOL
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