Did you or would you drink while pregnant?
I’ve just had it hammered into me for so long that it seems like a ridiculous question, like asking “Would you jump out of a plane without a parachute?” or “would you feed your dog a big hunk of baker’s dark chocolate?”
Since middle school they have been telling us over and over again, “no amount of alcohol is safe during pregnancy”. So it just becomes part of the collective unconscious – pregnant women don’t drink. The image is incongruous, like a camel drinking a martini. And it’s not just me who thinks that way.
For example: I love champagne. That’s my drink of choice. We had a big bottle of Baby Canadian in our fridge last year and the occasion to drink it wasn’t coming up.
Me: We’ll just save it. *with a grin* Hey, maybe we can pop it to celebrate when we find out that I’m pregnant!
Perfect Husband: *sliding off his wedding ring* Get out of my house.
I had a few glasses of wine over Christmas, before I knew I was pregnant, mind you. It’s ironic because my grandmother kept thinking I was pregnant whenever I went to visit her, and I was talking about this with my parents over a glass of Zinfandel.
Mum: Your Nana doesn’t know something we don’t, does she?
Me: Uhh, considering that I’m drinking a glass of wine right now, clearly if she does, I don’t know either.
I guess the joke was on me.
But I’m beginning to realize that not everyone has had this belief drilled firmly into their heads. Quite a lot of people on the Dooce Community admit to drinking the occasional glass of wine or beer while pregnant. Do I judge them? Not really. I mean, the chance of a glass or two hurting the baby is pretty slim. I haven’t lost much sleep over those glasses of Zinfandel. But knowingly drinking alcohol while pregnant baffles me, because there’s always the risk. The unpredictability of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and the fact that they can’t seem to establish a “safe” zone keeps me away. I felt the same reaction when reading NewScientist’s Bumpology articles. The author has discussed that alcohol can be harmful. How studies showed that fetuses born to mothers who just a glass or two a day during the third trimester are born with a taste preference for alcohol. But she still seems annoyed by the whole “no alcohol” recommendation.
And it is her right.
But I’m like, “Bwa??”
It’s just not on my radar in the slightest. Why would I take the risk? Nor could I manage to do so without having a major blow-out with my husband. YOU suggest to him that I have a glass of wine. See how he takes it.
Those three bottles of Smirnoff Ice in the fridge drive me crazy, especially on hot days. We have friends coming by to put in baseboards for us tomorrow. Maybe I can pawn them off of them.
During the ninth month of pregnancy I did have a drink, both times – beer with Isaac (it was SO HOT, I felt like I’d swallowed the sun.) And with James, I had half a glass of wine a couple of times before bed, to try and help relax me enough that I could sleep – I had wicked sciatica and was in pretty much constant pain.
My doctor was aware and didn’t have a problem so long as it was occasional only, and during the last month baby is mostly about gaining weight; not so much finer brain development.
My understanding from my reading is that because a “safe” number of drinks can’t be established – empirical testing being impossible – that the North American medical profession has erred on the side of caution with this one by simply saying no booze.
Mind you, when I was first pregnant with Isaac I was still smoking a couple of cigarettes a day – I didn’t know I was pregnant and spent a fruitless and annoyed month wondering why smoking made me nauseous. 🙂 I have always taken that to mean that in my case, anyway, my body finds ways of telling me I’m being unhealthy. Certainly I never wanted anything to drink beyond that one beer or a few sips of wine.
I think the last trimester is the most safe anyway. I always remember being told that the first trimester was the super dangerous one. Although thinking about it, it’s weird, because doesn’t most of the brain development happen in the last trimester?
Oh, the mystery of life.
I’m another one who had a small drink when week 39 rolled around. I was exhausted, miserable, and VERY ready to be done. It was an excellent treat. (My doctor even thought it was a good idea.)
(We were actively ttc, so I didn’t have anything leading up to conception, or through the first 39wks… And I didn’t drink for the first 6 months I was nursing. But I’m told that a glass of beer makes nursing a lot easier for some women because it helps with letdown – and a dark lager is full of good vitamins, so it’s not the worst choice out there.)
I betcha that a single glass of Zinfandel is one of the things I’ll demand the second this babby is out of me. That, and rare steak.
I got married when I was 9 weeks pregnant with my daughter, and I had a few small sips of champagne. Perhaps I might have had a few more, but I was terribly sick and the thought of drinking anything other than watered-down Ginger Ale and Red Raspberry Leaf Tea didn’t sit so well with me. I didn’t drink through my pregnancies, not even a small, occasional glass, and I was surprised with how many times I was told – reassured – that it was okay to drink while pregnant. It was a choice I made, one that I was comfortable with. I found it interesting that so many people felt they had to comment on that.
I’m weirded out when waitresses ask if I want a drink when I’m in a restaurant. PH and I kind of wonder what a waitress would do if I walked in heavily pregnant to a bar and demanded a gin and tonic…
Ready for the truth? I drank some when I was pregnant with Shea…because I was planning on an abortion. They were dark ugly days. I didn’t have the abortion but dear God anytime anything isn’t right with that kid I automatically wonder if I damaged him forever with that margarita. Now that he’s 10, I’m pretty sure we came through unscathed. But I think the guilt I felt for all of those years weighed pretty heavily on me. Therefore, with the other three, there was no way I drank a sip of anything alcoholic.
I’ll probably do the same with those glasses of Zinfandel, even though I never had more than two glasses in a single evening, and it’s frigging ZINFANDEL… it’s not like I was chugging tequila.
Having seen the often devastating effects of fetal alcohol syndrome on my own family — my adopted brother was an FAE baby and suffers still from impaired judgement and decision-making abilities that have landed him in jail and caused much strain on ALL of us at times, particularly my parents — I didn’t dare touch a drop of alcohol from the moment we decided to try to conceive in both pregnancies. After both births, I had sips of wine at my wedding and at Christmas dinners while exclusively breastfeeding, and a whole glass the Christmas Liam was a year and a half and soon-to-be-weaned. I just don’t like any risks in this area, though I realize I’m being more extreme than necessary. 😛
A Nervous Nelly, like me 🙂
THis is a point of cultural difference between North America and Europe, because I think most European mothers continue to drink a little bit through pregnancy (there are big variations from country to country and between social classes). I had the odd glass of wine in both pregnancies, but kept the quantities small and the occasions rare, and I can’t say I felt or feel the slightest bit worried about it. My mother (who until her fifties was someone who basically only had alcohol at Christmas) says the advice against drinking has got much more cautious and stringent since her day; back in the seventies it was just expected that you wouldn’t get legless.
I would never do anything I actually thought might harm my baby. But I did feel rebellious against the apparent attitude that my pregnancy was a glass bowl I was balancing on my little finger and that might smash at any minute. Mind you, I was extremely conscientious about not taking any non-approved medications, including for a couple of truly horrible colds when I was expecting Frank. (And mum had fillings done without anaesthetic when she was pregnant with me – now that’s hardcore.)
Ugggh… had one cold in early pregnancy (y’know, when the developing embryo is most sensitive) and I badly missed cold meds.
My sister-in-law had small glasses of wine all the time through her pregnancy. It was a regular part of her lifestyle (they have a glass of wine with dinner pretty much every night, I think) and she modified her habits, but chose not to cut it out completely. I couldn’t do it. I also think it may do me in if I ever get pregnant unexpectedly, and haven’t been pumping my system full of pre-natal vitamins, though. I have a tendency of wanting to do things AS WELL AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE at all times.
To be honest, I would probably be better off taking a sip of wine now and then while pregnant than subjecting the baby to the stress I know I probably will worrying about it. Either way they seem to come out thriving most of the time, though, so I guess it’s probably okay.
I was going to make the same comment — that in Europe the restrictions are much less stringent. Like you, I decided to err on the side of caution, and never had as much as a sip of anything alcoholic (or caffeinated, for that matter) during my pregnancies.
However, I have a French Canadian friend who told me that during her three pregnancies, she opted to follow the advice in the French maternity books, which allowed her as much as one glass of wine per day. She didn’t have as much as that, but she liked that the possibility was there.
Her kids are now 25, 20, and 17 and appear to be in good working order!
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