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Saw some pictures of myself. I look so much fatter than I feel. I’m not talking about the belly. I think pregnancy is beautiful and I’m proud of my belly, rash or no rash (except “no rash” is apparently a wild and crazy dream, since it’s been there for months and is showing no inclination of leaving camp any time soon). It’s the rest of me. I’ve gained weight ALL OVER, and I look about forty pounds heavier than I ever wanted to look. I have cellulite all over my butt and thighs, and while I’ve always had a weight problem, I have NEVER had cellulite. I took a weird kind of pride in it, a way to console myself when I was fat “at least it’s smooth fat”. But no. Cottage cheese city, here we go. Perfect Husband is all like “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” but a husband is hardly an objective source, especially since no man in his right mind would tell a woman “yeah, you’ve got saddle bags now”.

I know it’s my diet. All these carbs are playing havoc with my system. But I can’t frigging eat normal meals. I threw up again this morning.

I so want to feel beautiful.

…okay, I’m done whining. I’ll go back to being grateful for my healthy pregnancy now.