Excerpts from things I have heard murmured into my belly recently:
PH: Babby, you need to come out so I can hold you AND THEN I WILL EAT YOU ALL UP YUM YUM
PH: Hi, Babby, I’m your Daddy, but you can call me Snake.
Me: Did you just tell our child to call you SNAKE?
PH: Do you MIND? I’m TRYING to have a private conversation with my son.
PH: Hello, Babby, you are a babby. Want to hear a story? Once there was a babby, and he was loved very much, and then his uncle touched him in BAD PLACES.
And no, that last one was not biographical in any way, or a promise of anything to come, because our family isn’t into being evil.
Perfect Husband has just been negatively affected by the existence of this children’s book.
…It’s a good thing my son doesn’t actually speak English yet, but I despair about the world we are bringing him into.
One thing is for sure. HE WILL NOT BE READING THAT BOOK.