Perfect Husband would rather I not post a picture of his son’s sex organs on the world wide web, despite my proud-mother urge to do so instantly. But it’s definitely a boy!
Once again, the ultrasound people wouldn’t let Perfect Husband in at first, so he was left to stew while I was ushered in. The lady was very nice, though, and asked if I was interested in knowing the gender if she spotted it. Of course, I said yes, please! She spent a lot of time staring at the monitor, making clicks and beeps, while she did complicated measurement stuff. To my infinite relief, she told me that I had over-done the full bladder thing and sent me to relieve myself of part of the load, then did some more clicks and beeps. I tried to see what was happening on the monitor, but from my angle it was just miscellaneous grey patches. When she was done the important stuff, she said everything looked totally normal, and she went to call my husband.
Perfect Husband came in looking disgruntled, but seemed somewhat appeased when I told him that I had not gotten any sneak-previews. She showed us the face, which still looks alien, and the little hands, folded over his nose. He must have been sleeping, because he wasn’t moving at all. She showed us the spine, the flickering heart, the tiny empty stomach, and then she moved down to his legs.
“This is the umbilical cord,” she said, “and this is the scrotum, and that is definitely a penis. So it’s a boy.”
We made pleasant sounds while we digested it. I was surprised, because I had thought it was a girl, despite years and years of dreaming about nothing but boys. But mostly I felt worried about Perfect Husband being disappointed, because he loves little girls the way I love little boys. I don’t know why I should feel personal responsibility for the baby’s gender, since that ball is firmly in his court, but I did. He seems to be quite accepting of it though.
And this is why I wanted to kn0w – actually being able to think of the thing that moves in me as “my son” has made me feel closer to him already. But it has also really brought things home…
Holy shit, I’m going to have a kid.