I feel sad, and lonely, and socially outcast. I just found out yesterday through a client that one of my coworkers has separated from her husband, and I was all like “lol yeah” but really thinking “wtf? really? How did no one mention this to me?” My friends haven’t had lunch with me or invited me out with them in ages… But I can’t find the energy or even the real desire to try and make an effort to seek out the company of others, so can you blame them for forgetting about me when I never reciprocate the invitations?
So clearly I need to hang out with my friends so I can feel liked and accepted, but I don’t have the energy to initiate anything, and then I don’t hang out with them which makes me feel rejected and more depressed, and I have less energy than before… Clearly, this is a case of “ur doin it rong.”
The only person whose company doesn’t exhaust me is my husband. When I’m with him, I’m fine. But when he’s at work or something, I feel so very alone and useless.
…Especially when a chronically late boss, who is not only known for being late, but basically expected to show up up to half an hour late for meetings, criticizes me for showing up five minutes late. I had half an hour to load three wheelchairs and a scooter, tetris-style, into the van and get to the bus station. I didn’t quite make it in time. I tried, didn’t I? Oh, the hypocrisy.