It would appear I have two choices in life:
1. Be miserable. Eat nothing but cheeses, lettuce, and spicy meats. Lose some weight. Weep. Plateau. Sob brokenly. Lose a little more. Feel good about self. Feel hollow and hopeless inside.
2. Eat carbs. Feel happy. Feel fat. Feel guilty and dirty inside. Eat more carbs to smother feelings of self disgust. Feel happy. Feel fat. Feel guilty and dirty inside. Develop desire to hide burgeoning stomach and wobbling layers of fatty corpuscle from outside world. Sit in bath and eat guiltily and incessantly. Loathe body. Be miserable.