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In an anniversary card from my Father-In-Law (which, by the way, was actually a birthday card that had been altered in the salient places with white-out and a ballpoint pen):

“…I don’t get excited about anniversaries until they hit the ten year mark…. but I am cautiously optimistic that you two will continue to work hard to be caring to each other, and kind to the world.”

Uh… Thanks?

My own parents, by contrast, sent us a touchingly sweet card and two hundred and fifty dollars in cheque form (“since the first anniversary is usually paper…”)

Perfect Husband, to me:

“…Want to trade parents?”