You know how sometimes you’re in the grocery store and you see something surprising (like, oh, to take a totally random example, Yogurt Soda), and decide that you totally want to spend the four dollars to find out exactly what it tastes like?
That is a universal feeling, right?
…So we happened to be in the grocery store yesterday and Perfect Husband was like “look, Yogurt Soda!”
and I was like, ”I AM TOTALLY CURIOUS AND WANT TO BUY THIS PRODUCT. Should I get Original, or Mint?”
And PH. was like, “…are you serious?”
This is why I don’t normally make the decisions in our household.
I like Yogurt. I like Soda. How could this go wrong?
I thought it’d be a little like Yop. Fizzy Yop. With less sugar, since the only ingredients were yogurt (with bacterial culture!), carbonated water, and salt.
“It’s low carb!” I wheedled.
So we get home and I pour myself a fizzing glass of this fascinating new dairy product. Sure, Yogurt Soda seemed like an odd idea, but it’s clearly Indian/Middle Eastern in origin, and they make delicious yogurt drinks. PH is especially a fan of Mango Lassis. So maybe they were on to something!
you know you want to drink this
I didn’t expect it to be good, per se, but I thought it would be interesting.
Well, potable, at least.
What I didn’t expect – perhaps because one’s imagination can only stretch so far – was to recieve a mouthful of sour, curdled, death. SALTY, sour, curdled death. WITH FIZZ.
“But Carol,” some of you argue, “you don’t even drink milk. How do you know what curdled milk tastes like?”
Ok, I don’t. But I know what my baby’s puked-up stomach contents smell like, and this tasted like those smell. Only salty. And fizzy.
Kind of like baby puke in sea water. WITH FIZZ.
“But Carol,” others may point out, “It’s yogurt. That basically is sour milk.”
Okay, but I ate plain yogurt for breakfast just that morning, and its smell did not automatically turn my stomach. The memory of that plain yogurt does not haunt my dreams. That yogurt wasnt salty. Or fizzy. And it was, oh what’s the word…
Oh, right!
EDIBLE.
Then I made PH taste it, totally against his will, because until you have tried this, you don’t understand. It makes Buckley’s cough syrup seem delicious. Garbage? Divine.
Oh, you think you can imagine it, but you can’t.
Maybe the next time you sniff the milk carton and realize that the kids have been drinking directly from it, and that it now smells like the sour contents of an infant’s stomach, you could add some salt to it, pour in a dollop of club soda, and discover it for yourself.
But since PH and I spent the next hour eating anything we could find which was not Yogurt Soda, desperately trying to banish the memory from our tastebuds…
I don’t recommend it.
Unless you want to try the mint and report back to me. I can’t. PH would probably divorce me if I suggested it.
ignore this (technorati garble) 6WRZQEKRT742
Do you remember Orbitz drink with the gelatenous balls floating in the soda? I tried it. At the movie theater. So it cost me like 8$ to find out how nasty it was.
I think the most ridiculous part of this yogurt soda is that it comes in a 2 LITRE container. Like you’ll be serving up yogurt soda cocktails at your next barbeque.
You are much braver than I!
Ugh, I never even tried Orbitz. I don’t like bits in my drinks!
…although I do like Bubble Tea.
I dunno – some things just shouldn’t be mixed together. I applaud (?) your bravery, but this one would stay right on the shelf where I left it.
Is it meant to be used as a mix, rather than as a straight-up drink, maybe?
Gah, and by “left it”, I meant “found it” – you can tell the idea of picking it up and taking it home is a little beyond me.
I think it is drunk as a straight-up drink, but who knows? Maybe they just like to ruin other drinks with a little bit of sickly sour death.
haha, Youtube yogurt soda, you can relive it:)
Not necessary. That taste shall linger on my tongue in infamy forever.
I cannot tell you how delighted I am to have you in my life.
I’m happy to serve as your yogurt-soda tasting guru :-p
LOL
I *am* so pleased North Americans get to try these things before they are released to the rest of the world. I have been warned, and will accept your sagacity on this matter!
Is sagacity a word? OK replace with ‘wisdom’
It must be a word. Didn’t Kipling use it in the Just-So Stories? Then again, I think he also used the word “nubbly.”
Good gravy, that looks awful.
It’s not nearly as good as gravy :p
I was telling my husband about this post and he said “um uh hun yeah”. Then I showed him the picture of the big ass bottle of nasty soda. “Oh my god, that is DISGUSTING” was his next reaction. This is man who gutted fish for 10 years.
Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
LOL yeah, you really don’t understand until you see the chunks…
Never in a million years would I let that stuff pass my lips. (And this from a person who has tried most varieties of Bertie Botts’ Every Flavour Beans.) You are indeed a brave woman!
I wonder if Bertie Bott has tried THIS flavour?
Even Bertie has his standards.
My husband and I love mango lassi’s from the indian restaurant. At a turkish restaurant, they had a yogurt drink on the menu. He wanted to try it, and did, and had about the same reaction you describe – but it was not bubbly – it was a salty yogurt non-aerated drink.
We go there often enough that the owner knows us, and I was worried that she’d be a bit offended by just how theatrically he was reacting to this drink. So I drank it – it wasn’t my favorite, but it was drinkable. So I know it was only tangentially related to the yogurt soda you found. 
We have not ordered it again, though we do have a chuckle over it, on the menu.
Thanks for doing this experiment, so we don’t have to!
We love mango lassis too. There are so many good yogurt drinks! WHY does this one exist??
It must be something you like if you had it as a small child?
I’m from the U.S., temporarily in Australia, and I have to say that Vegemite has grown on me. But lots of folks who didn’t grow up with Vegemite don’t ever ever learn to like it. Somehow the two products seems similar to me, but my mind is strange. Both the folks who like Vegemite and the folks who like salty fizzy death (there must be some, somewhere?) might disagree with me.
I think it must definitely be an acquired taste. The thing is, while I can imagine acquiring a taste for Vegemite (vile as it is), I can’t understand acquiring a taste for this. It doesn’t taste… potable. You know? It tastes rotten. Then again, I feel the same way about certain cheeses.
— Yeah, the rotten part sounds really gross. Too bad you had 2 litres of it! What are some alternative things to do with yogurt (besides eating/drinking it, I mean)?
There is some sort of herb that tastes like mildew to me – I keep thinking I should figure out exactly what herb (or spice?) it is, so that I can avoid it. But I haven’t, so sometimes I get a mouth full of mildew when I least expect it…
On a totally different note – we have a 14 month old son who shares a lot of features with your Babby. Some of your baby pictures – my first impression are that they are of our son! Right down to the swirl pattern of the barely-existing hair.
I really enjoy your writing, thanks for it!
Ooh, so if I saw a picture of your son, I’d get a sneak preview of Babby in the future? I like it!
Maybe? A possible future, anyway… I’ll have to work out a way for you to see and judge for yourself…
Just the thought of it makes me gag. And I told my co-worker Amy and she’s all gagging too:)
I love to give people a giggle, but I’ll take a gag!
Yummy.
*gagging at the sentence* “SALTY, sour, curdled death. WITH FIZZ.”
SO DELICIOUS. By which I mean really, really, not.
Ugh – salty, fizzy, diluted yoghurt? Oh gosh that’s gross. HILARIOUS, but gross. If I ever see it somewhere here in the UK, I’ll insist we DON’T buy it just to try. We’re like that too – seeing some new food product and reacting with a “I AM TOTALLY CURIOUS AND WANT TO BUY THIS PRODUCT” and normally it works out. Kind of. We don’t normally gag, at least! Then again, hubby isn’t too big on yoghurt anyway, so maybe the temptation won’t even be there!
Unless you start wondering HOW bad it tastes :-p
Ouch, yeah, there is that … :/ Although, having mentioned it to him, he isn’t interested. He’s tried fizzy milk before apparently and says THAT was atrocious. So a salty yoghurt version sounds even less edible!
Oh, Carol… I’m so sorry. *wipes tears of laughter from eyes* My friend tried that at a Middle-Eastern restaurant once, and had the exact same reaction as you. He then went on to inflict the rest on his unsuspecting coworkers.
PH took it to work yesterday… but they LIKED it. They’re Persian.
I’d also stay away from fermented soda, and any product claiming to be raw, as in raw foods. Then here are supposedly healthy drinks with vinegar and/ or “natural bacteria.” it’s all quite disgusting. I am guessing you have to be a thorrowly fun deprieved raw food vegan, possible the kind that subsists on fallen fruit, in order to find any pleasure at all in that stuff.